


If we're still alive my regrets are few

by ILookDaftWithOneShoe



Series: 'Even psychopaths have emotions. Then again, maybe not' [3]
Category: Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Assassin/mercenary!Loki, Drama, Elements of Earth 616, Humour, Loki Clint and Natasha are all BAMFs, M/M, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Slow Build, Starts happy and gets progressively darker, Tony is a mother hen..., future smut, shit happens to the best of us
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 06:01:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 34
Words: 68,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILookDaftWithOneShoe/pseuds/ILookDaftWithOneShoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony came back from Afghanistan and covered up the horror and torture with a smile and a gold-titanium shell. Things like that never go away, and he never forgot what he saw there. But he keeps marching on, because lying down and being upset about it isn't the Stark way.</p><p>Enter Loki, fresh from a mission gone wrong, who's also got a body full of scars and a head full of tortured memories.</p><p>Tony needs a new bodyguard, and Loki's more than willing to fill the position as he gets his life back together. When they discover their common link in Afghanistan, well...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> If you'll divert your eyes to the story facts, this is based in the same universe as and is an AU of my other work Cracked Actor, but no knowledge of it or the prequel is required. All you really need to know is that Loki's a psychopath, Thor's an ordinary guy, and the Avengers got together without the battle in New York.
> 
> This borrows quite a bit from Earth!616 canon, but it's going to stay easily understood.
> 
> Also, the idea for this and a lot of the information can be credited to dear Akuma_River, who's been a big help = D

The Forehead of Security.

Tony missed him with a passion.

Especially right now, when Tony had simply just been at a goddamned party.

Nice party, until HYDRA had attacked. Now it was goddamned.

Oh, the other Avengers had been fine. They'd suited up, fought the forces of evil, and been lauded as heroes.

Tony had _hidden_ with the other patrons in the kitchen, under a table that smelt like raw chicken.

"Aren't you Iron Man?" A man there had asked. "Shouldn't you be out there?"

"Not tonight," Tony had said grimly.

The man did not look happy.

Then the fight had moved to the kitchen, with someone in a bodysuit screaming "Hail HYDRA!" as people screamed and tried to stuff themselves through the emergency exit.

This was the fourth attack by HYDRA in the last two months. Today they were trying to break into the archives under City Hall where this event was being held.

 _I wish Happy was here,_ Tony thought as he utilised a spray bottle of cooking oil and a firelighter to fend the HYDRA agent off. _I could have my goddamn suit. I'd be in less risk of being shot._

This opinion was reaffirmed as Hawkeye flipped into the room, took down two more agents and then started laughing his ass off at Tony crouching behind an overturned table with just a spray can and a plastic salad knife.

"Fuck off, Legolas," Tony snarled.

"Oh, come on, Tony! Your oil beats my bow any day!" Clint mocked.

"Hey, you assholes could've brought the suit with you!" Tony shouted back as he shuffled out from behind the table and made for the exit.

"Dude, you can bring your own stuff! Or at least make someone do it for you! What's the point of being a rich bastard if you can't have that?" Clint laughed as he shoved his way through two trash cans into a freezer. "Get your ass out of here!"

He had a fine point, Tony had to admit later. He didn't have Happy as a driver, so he'd been driving himself or getting taxis, and that meant he had no one to get him the Iron Man suit he kept in the trunk for emergencies. The whole bodyguard thing had been pretty cute, too, but he actually missed the whole having-Happy-around thing.

A sparring partner who couldn't kick his fucking ass every single time had been nice.

An explosion rocked the building behind him and a flying piece of glass slashed the sleeve of his favourite suit.

"You know what, fuck this," Tony snapped to himself, making a fleeing child look even more shocked than before. "I'm getting a fucking driver. Or a trained monkey or a really smart Labrador or even Clint if it comes down to it. Fucking _fuck_ this!"

Tragically, the lamppost had nothing to offer him.

"You want a lift, snookums?" Clint grinned as he swept down on his sky-cycle. Tony angrily climbed on behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"I'm coming with you, but I'm not happy about it," Tony sulked as they soared off to the carpark so Tony could pick up his car.

-O.O-

The problem with getting a new security man or even a new driver was that Tony was Iron Man.

This meant that he was affiliated with the highest security in the world. Therefore his new bitch had to be equally high calibre.

You ever try to find a SHIELD-cleared, non-SHIELD-employed straight-up person to be your replacement Happy Hogan?

See, back when Tony had hired Happy - after Jarvis died (Jarvis the replacement father, not JARVIS the Very Intelligent System) - things had been a little more low-key. Yeah, he'd been Tony Stark, son of Howard Stark, but so long as you stayed out of his workshop there were no secrets for you to steal, unless you were interested in the gossip of who went home with him.

Now, there were secret identities and covert operations and pieces of valuable technology everywhere, and someone who could be bought for a bottle of nice wine and a cheeseburger would not cut it.

"So, do you or do you not know a guy?" Tony said, after listening to Happy um and ahh.

"Sorry, Tony. I know a few guys in the business, but no one who'd pass a security check," Happy said.

"Of course, you could always come back," Tony shrugged.

"I miss you too, Tony, but I'm happier here. Pepper is nice to me."

"Aw, I wasn't? I'm hurt, Hap. Get back to me if you think of anyone," Tony said before disconnecting. Happy had a point. His girlfriend Pepper may not be, but she could always do with some security.

The best option he'd come across so far was getting a SHIELD agent out on secondment, and he didn't want to hand Fury the ability to spy on him on a silver platter.

But asking Happy had given him an idea.

-O.O-

"Clint! Natasha!" Tony shouted across the gym.

They both stopped their sparring after a moment and turned to face him, slightly out of breath and wearing tight gym clothes.  
Great, now Tony was having inappropriate thoughts about how athletic they both were.

Shaking himself a little to concentrate, Tony said "Hey, I just wanted to ask a favour."

"What is it, Tony?" Natasha said impatiently.

"I'm looking for a new bodyguard, and I was wondering if either of you knew a guy. Or a girl. I can't get my hands on someone who passes SHIELD security checks," Tony said quickly. The wrath of Natasha was a worrying thing.

"There's Sitwell in External Affairs-" Clint began.

"No SHIELD agents. I already have enough of you riding my ass, I don't need Fury shoving in another one." Tony frowned.

"That...is a horrible mental image," Clint winced.

"Most of my contacts wouldn't be that enthusiastic, though there's always private security companies," Natasha said briskly. "It can be an issue finding a cleared, skilled security agent who's willing to lower themselves to bodyguarding someone like you,"

"Yeah, it's not a popular niche, as it turns out," Tony snorted. "Like me?"

"You're not exactly the ideal mark, Tony, so yeah, your work is cut out," Natasha said.

"What's wrong with me?" Tony said indignantly.

"The amount of stress you put your personnel through is legendary," Natasha said with her tiny little smile. "You know, seeing as you change your plans without warning, don't have a history of following orders and treat people around you like lesser beings."

"Psssh, I don't do that," Tony lied.

"Yeah, Shellhead. Most guys in this line like someone who does what they're told when they're told," Clint added. "And don't get blown up every five minutes."

"Jesus, I'm looking for a driver, not James Bond," Tony said exasperatedly.

"I'm pretty sure no one will be happy with just some ordinary, easily bought driver," Natasha said. "Did you ask Happy to come back?"

"He says he doesn't want to come back and I'm willing to assume neither of you want the job. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually stumped," Tony admitted. "I was seriously thinking about a private security company, but I thought I'd ask you first - you know all the names, after all, and who wants some boring old professional guard who hasn't done covert shit in Genovia or wherever?"

Natasha was clearly running through that brilliant archive that was her brain. "I've got two people who might be interested. A man and a woman. Any preference?"

"Depends. Is the woman hot?" Tony grinned.

"Both of them are," Natasha smirked. "First, there's Bethany Cabe - her and her partner run a security firm, but Ling's hired out - she's tough, smart and can definitely hold her own. She might be a bit miffed at being relegated to driving, but so long as she gets a chance to spread out her network, she'd be a short-term solution."

"Short-term?"

"She's a busy woman, Tony," Natasha said.

Clint frowned suspiciously. "Who's the other guy?"

Natasha leaned over and whispered it in his ear with a secretive smile.

"Oh hell to the fucking no!" Clint said. "He's such an ass!"

"I think he's amusing," Natasha replied.

"Of course you would," Clint said with a put-upon eye roll.

"And what is that implying?" Natasha said.

"Cut the theatrics, kids," Tony cut in. "Who is this guy? Anyone I've heard of?"

"His name's Loki. He's an MI6-trained mercenary; one of the best I know," Natasha said. "I heard over the grapevine - from Murdock - that he's looking for some quiet work for a while."

"Here's my criterion: can he drive, protect my perfect ass, pass a security check and not be a pain in the butt? Cause that's all I want. Really," Tony said.

"First three, definitely. Last one? Depends on what annoys you."

"I suppose. How 'bout you try and contact them and if either of them say yes then give me a full run down," Tony said. After a nod of confirmation from the archer and the assassin, he said "Thanks, guys. I was actually a bit lost."

-O.O-

"Cabe can't do it," Natasha announced at dinner about four days later.

"Pardon?" Steve asked.

"Tony misses Happy, so we're looking for a new one," Clint explained shortly, before turning back to Tony. "Cabe's protecting some paranoid Latvian, apparently."

"Oh. Dammit. I liked the sound of her," Tony said flippantly. "What about the other guy? The one you hate?"

"I don't _hate_ him," Clint said. "He's a real ass. He likes to mess with people."

"Sounds like my type of person," Tony grinned.

"He's not the fun kind of asshole," Clint explained. "He's the asshole kind of asshole."

"That's the best kind," Tony pointed out. "What'd he say?"

Natasha snickered. "I'm quoting him when I say 'If I'm looking for a rest, I see no better job than defending a rich bitch wrapped in a tin can,' - so he's available."

"That's rude!" Tony gasped mockingly.

"He's rude," Clint shrugged.

"Tell me about him in ten minutes. It's food time. We don't interrupt food time," Tony said, pushing two bowls of soup towards them.

-O.O-

"So, if this guy is such a pro, then why's he happy being Happy?" Tony asked.

It was just him and Natasha now, watching Tony's new robot do the dishes for them.

"I'm not sure. Last time we met, about two years ago, he was an adrenaline junkie of the worst kind - so easily bored he'd start to lose it without work. As far as I know, that changed about six months ago when he vanished on a job," Natasha said.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. I've never heard. All I know for sure is that he turned up a month later in hospital in Iran and he's been out of action ever since," Natasha said. "He's the best of the best, but if he was seriously injured he might've lost his spark."

"Any idea what it is?"

"Not a clue."

"Well, tell me about him. You seem to know him, so..." Tony said.

"Hm," Natasha said. "He's good at what he does. He could out-sass Clint on a bad day. He's got a wicked sense of humour - you'd probably like him. His specialty weapon is throwing knives. He turned down a job at SHIELD a year or so ago. He's probably the only person I know that I could honestly say might be smarter than you. That's about it."

"No one's smarter than me," Tony pouted.

"He might be. We'll put you in a room together and see, right?" Natasha smiled.


	2. I'm alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony meets Loki.

Loki had agreed to come meet Tony in three days. He was coming from Seattle.

Tony wasn't sure what to think, really. All he had was what Natasha told him, the fact that Natasha seemed to like him, and the fact that Clint really didn't.

Natasha probably could've told him more - like his last name, for example - but Tony was finding himself liking the surprise in all this cloak-and-dagger.

In all honesty, Tony did hold a great deal of curiosity about the world of Natashas and Clints and Lokis. There was this whole subculture that they lived in of secrery and loyalties, one that the average person liked to watch movies about because they could never imagine themselves living such a life.

It had struck Tony recently how very little he knew about either assassin on the team. Bruce was his science bro and they knew almost _too_ much about each other and Steve's personal history was Tony's bedtime story, but Clint and Natasha would remain enigmatic even if they told Tony everything that had ever happened to them. It was in their nature to be mysterious. Otherwise they'd suck at their jobs.

He wondered if Loki would be the same way.

So when the grand day arrived, Tony continued on this trend of playing spy and sat in his office, watching the street through a screen projected by JARVIS.

Three minutes before 2pm, their agreed interview time, a plain taxi stopped on the sidewalk.

Out poked an umbrella, defending against the pounding rain, followed by a shapeless figure in a black raincoat.

It was three metres to the shelter of the overhang outside Stark Tower. This guy was obviously not a fan of the rain.

Then Tony watched who was presumably Loki cross the sidewalk and then the atrium in some very long steps - the guy was bloody tall - talk to one of the receptionists, get gestured towards the elevator and slip in.

A minute later, there was a knock on the door of his office.

"Come in!" Tony called.

With a click, Loki opened the door and walked in, his eyes flicking suspiciously around the room, leaning his umbrella against the wall and slipping off his coat.

Tony's first impression was how unwell Loki looked.

Under his coat, Loki was wearing a tidy yet inexpensive suit that showed off exactly how skinny he was - it clung to his skinny form and Tony knew without the suit every rib would be visible. He seemed very slightly hunched, like he had a stomach ache, and he was pale and gaunt. Despite this, his - very - green eyes sparkled, fever-bright, his hair was a rare shade of pitch black, and his height gave him an air of power.

"Excuse my appearance," Loki chuckled. "I look like shit, I know."

On the contrary, Tony thought he'd be startlingly attractive if he didn't look so sick. Nice facial structure, elegant build, interesting colouration.

"You're a beautiful sunflower," Tony remarked. "Have a seat."

In a slightly awkward fashion, Loki settled himself in the leather chair opposite Tony's desk. "Loki," he offered, reaching a hand across the desk to shake hands.

"Tony Stark," Tony said, gripping the other man's bony palm. Loki twitched very slightly at the contact. "Look, just in the name of posterity, what's your last name?"

"Feison," Loki answered.

"That's not true, is it?"

"Not quite," Loki said with a tiny half-smirk. "That's a little beside the point. So, you want a bodyguard."

"Driver," Tony corrected. "I can protect my own ass, but I like to have my own driver, preferably one who's not terrified of getting shot at while stuck in ridiculous situations."

"That's a normal Wednesday to me," Loki said, voice neatly slipping into a brisk, informative tone. His professionality was betrayed by the staccato rhythm he was subconsciously tapping on his thigh, an anxious tic. "I can easily fill the position of driver. However, I would like to warn you in advance; I'm far from in peak physical condition."

"Ah, yeah, I noticed," Tony said, slightly awkwardly. "What happened?"

"Client confidentiality; I'm not at all willing to divulge the full story," Loki said, climbing to his feet. "Just know that I did not come out of it the winner."

Wondering why Loki was getting up, Tony said "What're you doing?"

Silently Loki took off his jacket and began to unbutton his dress shirt.

"I'm looking for a driver, not a prostitute," Tony joked awkwardly.

Loki rolled his eyes as he tugged the bottom of his undershirt up as high as his ribs - as Tony had correctly assumed, he could see every one - and showed Tony his stomach.

 _"Holy shit!"_ Tony gasped.

It was, with no competition, the largest scar Tony had seen on a living human.

Atrophic, pink and weirdly shiny in the way scars were, it stretched neatly from the right side of the bottom of Loki's ribcage down to his opposite hipbone, a vicious diagonal slash all the way across his stomach that spoke of something horrible.

The size and rawness of the scar told Tony the original injury was huge and recent.

"Fuck. Shit fuck. I do _not_ want to think of the injury that gave you that," Tony winced, feeling almost nauseous.

Loki redressed efficiently before reseating. "In all honesty, Mr Stark, neither do I. It's a little bit of an understatement to say it hurt. Nevertheless, a list of my other physical shortcomings: I am not yet returned to full fitness, I have some difficulty walking barefoot on rough ground or for long periods of time owing to scarring on the soles of my feet, I cannot lift heavy weights owing to abdominal muscle injuries, and I am underweight. The latter will be temporary, I assure you."

"I kinda wanna stuff you with a burger or five right now. What happened? Just...life?" Tony asked, knowing he wouldn't like the answer.

"Just over a month ago I went through withdrawal for my pain medication upon leaving hospital permanently and suddenly. I lost 11kg in five days. It was a tad horrible," Loki said, still deadpannish and businesslike despite the topic of conversation.

Well, that explained the pinched look, like he'd lost a lot of weight quickly.

Tony didn't understand. He had this hot jolt of empathy, a sad stinging in his chest that came from seeing a person so broken, and he didn't understand why Loki was even offering himself as an employee when he was only half-alive.

He could see the after-effects of the pain in Loki's eyes; they were bright, but in the way a cornered animal's were, like a stray dog waiting for another kick.

"Why are you telling me this?" Tony ended up asking after deliberating carefully.

"Telling you what?"

"All your broken bits."

"As an employer, it's best if you are aware of my failings as a bodyguard," Loki shrugged.

"Driver." Tony clarified again.

Loki winced playfully. "Bodyguard is less embarrassing for me."

Tony chuckled and said "Bodyguard, fine. So, what, this is your equivalent of me being hired to change someone's tyre?"

"Or thereabouts," Loki said. "As far as qualifications go, I've a very large number of offensive and defensive driving courses to my name, as well as MI6, SHIELD, and a little Russian FSB combat training and a proficiency in the use of throwing knives and firearms. Your Natalia Romanova and Clint Barton can provide references, as well as SHIELD Director Fury and Agent Maria Hill, who handled their attempt to recruit me. If you need any other references I can provide a full and detailed list of those who would endorse me, including my MI6 instructors."

"That's a lot of references. Wait, Natalia?"

"That is her name, is it not?"

"We call her Natasha."

"Oh, well, she has a few titles. Natasha it is," Loki conceeded. "The point is, I am qualified, and if driving is all you require my physical condition should not be an issue."

"True," Tony admitted.

Loki looked like a good prospect, Tony had to admit. Plus he looked so messed up. Like the puppy with the broken paw that you adopt from the pound without really considering it, Tony just wanted him so he could shelter him.

"So," Tony said, pushing those thoughts away. "You seem like what I'm looking for; I mean, I just want a bloody driver, not an ex-MI6 buddy of Nat's who can kick ass in a million different ways, but if you want a job then I'd be happy to have you."

"Excellent," Loki smiled, calming a little. Finally, the twitching of his hands slowed, just slightly. "If that's a serious offer, then we should discuss contracting. Also, I would like to warn you that for at least the next week I am tied up in contract discussions with my previous employer."

"Oh yeah? What's that about?"

"I failed my end of the contract," Loki said with a cursory wave at his abdomen. "I'm negotiating being released from it, as I'm in no condition to complete it. Also, I'd rather like it if they'd reimburse me for my substantial hospital bills."

"Shit, I bet they were a shocker if you've been in there for months."

"Three and a half months in and out of hospitals in three seperate countries," Loki said. "It's a few more dollars than I have on hand. Add plane tickets, hotels, and the obscene amount of equipment I have to replace, and I would rather like it if I had a steady job."

"I can't say no to that," Tony said, feeling his resolve to at least try and look tough snap like a twig in the face of Clint and Natasha's friend in such a shitty situation. "A friend of a friend is my friend or something like that, right? If Clint and Nat say you're on the level then you've got a job."

Loki's tired face twitched into a faint look of relief and joy as he leaned across the table to shake Tony's hand. "My gratitude."

"You couldn't just get a job as a barista?" Tony chuckled.

"Honestly, I'd rather be back in the hell on Earth that brought me here than dispense drinks to teenage girls at Starbucks," Loki snorted.

Loki's reference suddenly brought a flash into Tony's mind of a cave, weapons, and Yinsen dying.

Everyone has their own hell on Earth.

"Anywhere's got to be better than that," Tony said thoughtfully.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps. Shall we talk details?"

-O.O-

And thusly it was decided Loki would start work in a week, unless he had more problems with his previous employer, and would be paid accordingly for his services.

Tony had a driver, and Loki had a job. And so it began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be put off by either Loki's appearance or his somewhat beaten-down personality; he will be perfectly Lokish when he's in better condition.
> 
> Bonus points to the snowflake who knows what song this fic is named after.


	3. My life is mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki moves in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the prepositioning. But a story has to start somewhere, right?

Loki ended up coming a day late.

"I'm sorry, Stark, but I'll have to come tomorrow," Loki had said over the phone.

"Why's that? Problem with your contract?" Tony had asked.

"No, that's fine - it's raining," Loki had said by way of explanation.

"Is your flight cancelled?"

"No, it's just - raining. I will be there tomorrow or when the rain clears," Loki had said before hanging up.

With that rather cryptic statement, Loki stuck to his word and arrived late.

It had been agreed that Loki would live with him. He didn't have anywhere to live in New York, and while he could find one, it would cost a lot of money to live reasonably close to Stark Tower. Tony had a lot of spare rooms, and Loki had accepted the offer of one gratefully.

Tony had to wonder how much money Loki had. It didn't seem like much.

To his surprise, Natasha was excited about Loki coming to stay, inasmuch as Natasha got excited about anything. Certainly she was in a better mood than usual and more readily produced a smile.

She insisted on coming to pick him up.

Bruce and Steve seemed wholly accepting of the new arrival, and Clint didn't seem to be especially pleased.

And so here they were, driving towards the airport.

"This is my last time I have to deal with the goddamn traffic," Tony said cheerfully.

"You still have to deal with it," Natasha deadpanned. "You'll just not be driving."

"I can mess around in the back seat. Cut loose. Entertain guests. No hands on steering wheels for me," Tony said triumphantly.

"Tony, it hasn't been very long since Happy changed jobs," Natasha replied.

"Five months is _too_ many months," Tony said melodramatically. "Don't try and put me off it, Natasha. I thought you wanted tall, pale and skinny around."

"I'd be happier if I'd had the chance to see him before he left."

"He said he needed to get back to Seattle. What does it matter? He's here, today," Tony turned off into LaGuardia, heading for a parking building.

"What was he doing in Seattle?" Natasha asked.

"He didn't say exactly, but he was trying to get out of his contract 'cause he was too badly injured to complete it," Tony said.

Natasha looked thoughtful as she puzzled out potential employers in the area.

-O.O-

Tony decided for the old cliche of holding a named sign to get Loki's attention at the gate. Cliches became what they were for a reason, and, true to form, it worked.

Looking uncomfortable in the rush of people, the skinny mercenary made his way through the room towards the sign.

Tony didn't expect Natasha to openly smile and tug Loki into the odd half-handshake-half-hug thing that people did, but there you go. Generally, she was only that affectionate with Clint, and they were in a relationship.

"What happened to you?" She asked in awe upon realising what a state Loki was in.

"Life, the universe, and everything," Loki quipped as he shouldered his backpack and gestured for Tony to lead the way.

"Is that all you have?" Tony asked, surprised, as they set off. "No big suitcase full of safe-cracking stuff and knives and guns and shoephones?"

"I did have one," Loki said wryly. "It was taken from me. I miss it dearly; finding someone to replace my custom knives is a bitch."

"Mongolian, weren't they?" Natasha asked.

"Yes, and I only have three left," Loki sulked.

"Why custom? What makes a knife different?" Tony said curiously.

"Weight, mass, shape, material, colouration, grip. There are plenty of traits. I prefer ceramic simply because it does not get picked up by airport security," Loki said mischieviously, a little knife appearing in his hand from seemingly nowhere. It was dark grey and shaped sort of like a slim, elongated Ace of Spades. In a moment it was gone again along with the brightness of his face and Loki was peering out the windows at the falling drizzle. "Do we have to go outside?"

"No, it's covered," Tony said. He couldn't deny his curiosity about Loki's apparent dislike of rain.

"Excellent," Loki said with a tired smile. "I am infinitely grateful for both this job and the lodgings, Stark."

"I need a driver, you can drive," Tony grinned. "Nothing special about it."

-O.O-

Loki proved himself thoroughly on the way back to Stark Tower by accustomising himself to Tony's car quickly and navigating the dense traffic easily in the light rain, complimenting Tony's car.

Clint, for all his pretense of not liking Loki, affectionately slapped the merc on the back when he arrived.

"Steve Rogers," Steve introduced with a bold smile.

"Loki," Loki replied. "Though we have already met."

"Have we?" Steve asked.

"I suppose you were a little disorientated. Shortly after your de-icing we met briefly."

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Loki said, extending a bony hand to Bruce. "Dr Banner, I assume."

"Good to meet you, Loki," Bruce said. "Don't let Tony get to you."

"I've handled worse," Loki smirked.

Which was the convenient moment in which Tony snatched Loki's backpack from him, tossed it to Natasha to take it to his room, and half-dragged him in the general direction of the kitchen.

"What are you - I've killed men for less than this, you know," Loki said indignantly, struggling away.

"We're putting food in you. Now," Tony demanded. "As your boss I demand you eat a big bacon breakfast."

"I've had breakfast," Loki growled, but he didn't weigh enough to defeat Tony by just being stubborn and was unwilling to use anything that might injure his boss to get away.

"Second breakfast. Elevensies. I'm giving you the full hobbit treatment until you're fatter and jollier than Santa," Tony insisted.

"I don't think I'm physically capable of either of those," Loki said.

Ignoring him, Tony stuffed him into a kitchen chair and stuck the remains of the big breakfast Clint and Steve had cooked for everyone in the microwave. Then he joined him at the table.

"Here's the deal, Dracula," Tony said amiably. "I'm a rich guy; that's not a secret. You have a backpack, the clothes on your back, three knives and a severe abdominal wound, and that's it. While I'm your employer, I want to fix all that because I can. So first up, we work with the fact you're a pile of bones held in shape by skin."

"I'm actually quite muscular, just slimly built," Loki somehow managed to pull off both resigned to his fate and happy for the assistance in one sentence.

"Bullshit." Tony dropped the plate with cutlery in front of Loki. "Eat up."

Loki considered arguing. It wasn't that he had any objection to eating or trying to regain his morphine-related weight loss, it was just the mere principle of being ordered like a dog and fed like a child.

On the other hand, being willingly given food, money and work was worth a little bit of inadvertent humiliation.

Tony was holding out a fork to him. Loki shot him a bitchface before accepting it and scooping a fried potato into his mouth.

"So, uh," said Tony. "Is there anything I can do to help you get your knives?"

Loki looked at Tony thoughtfully. "Time," he stated simply. "Everything takes time to fix and heal. This is no different."

"I mean, money or something. C'mon, man, you drove me here like a pro. That deserves a bonus," Tony grinned. "Are you doing physio? For the-" he waved at Loki's stomach "-disembowelling? I can get you some physio stuff. What the fuck do you use for physio?"

Loki chuckled.

"Don't laugh at me, I'm serious!" Tony said.

"You are a ridiculous man, Tony Stark," Loki smiled. "I am a complete stranger in your home. You're feeding me, throwing money at me, giving me somewhere to live and trying to fix me. For all you know I could be a spy here to burn down the Avengers in the name of Captain Britain."

"Well. I'll just have to try and turn you. I'm serious about the help, Pixie Stick. You're not actually an Avenger, but you live here now. Ergo, it's my job to both annoy you and help you." Tony said. "So, what're your plans for the day? If you want to go and buy some clothes I can advance you your pay. Or give you a bonus. Or something."

Loki took a moment as he swallowed a tough piece of bacon. "I planned to acquiant myself with my new lodgings, spar with Nat for old time's sake, then go clothes shopping, yes."

"Make sure you report in for both team lunch and team dinner. As your boss I demand you look like a real person," Tony said.

"That is the second time you've said that," Loki pointed out.

"Should be doubly effective, then," Tony grinned.

Loki couldn't help a tiny smile at the man's persistence. He'd been almost solely on his own for months, barring medical staff, customs officers and his previous employers. Having someone fuss over him was surprisingly welcome.

Tony, on the other hand, was surprised at his own protective instincts. Sure, he tended to overdo his attachment to his close friends at times, but as Loki had said, this was a random guy who he'd hired to be his driver.

A random guy who'd come back half-alive from somewhere foreign. Okay, maybe there was a reason Tony was all over him.

Once Loki had finished his meal, he asked to be excused so he could settle into his room.

In all honesty, Tony wanted to watch him fight Natasha later. It would be a decent test of his skills, and come on, _awesome_.

-O.O-

Tony was enjoying seeing one of Nat's friends interact with her. Apart from Clint, of course, because she had him whipped.

Loki - who looked awkward in ratty trackpants and a t-shirt, with the height and boniness - was standing across a sparring mat from Natasha.

Idly Tony noted the odd shoes Loki had, soft soled and impractical like a weird variant of baby booties, remembering Loki's passing comment on scarring on his feet. He probably needed to wear them even when he was inside and _fuck_ Tony felt like a mother hen.

"I will warn you now, Natasha; if you do anything untoward in the vicinity of my stomach I will punch you in the boob so hard you'll wish you never had them," Loki warned. "I have not found a suitable padding that would allow me to spar in full contact."

"Go on, then, show us your scar," Natasha challenged. Loki must've told her about it before Tony arrived.

Resignedly Loki hiked up his t-shirt. Even Steve winced, but Natasha stayed looking unimpressed.

"You baby. I've seen bigger," she smirked.

"That's not what you said in Nihzny Novgorod," Loki snickered.

"Piss off, Loki," Natasha replied with a detectable note of fondness. "Tony, count us in."

"Er...When I say go. Three, two, one - go!" Tony said.

Tony had seen Clint and Natasha spar a hundred times and this turned out to be fairly similar, though Loki was noticeably weaker than Clint, likely because he was only using half his abs.

As Tony had suspected, though, Loki was not a fighter of strength, but of speed. At times it looked like he was kicking Natasha's ass, but she'd be lashing back in an instant, recovering quickly, far fitter than he was.

Amidst kicks, feints, parries and what Tony _swore_ was a little-bitch hair grab by Natasha, was Tony's favourite thing.

Natasha's ultimate, unbeatable move was basically a semi-cartwheel that turned into taking someone down while pinning them and almost strangling them with her thighs.

She tried it on Loki. He'd seen it before, because when he hit the ground he didn't stay down; he used his momentum to roll onto his stomach before bucking her off and lunging to pin her.

"If you didn't always do that-" he started with a chuckle, but she cut him off by managing to knee him in the side, close enough to his scar that he squeaked in pain and went fetal on the gym mat next to her. "Dirty pool!" he gasped. When she rather smugly held his arms behind him in a lock, Loki finally muttered something (not in English) under his breath and submitted.

"Never forget, Loki, I'll always beat you," Natasha deadpanned, helping him up.

"Loki!" Tony called. "Are you okay?"

"Perfectly fine," Loki said, out of breath. "Fitness training, I think, will be necessary."

"I can get you a personal trainer, or something," Tony offered.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Exercise. That is how you become fit. Kind though the offer is, I don't think that will be necessary."

"Does your stomach hurt?" Tony asked.

 _Wow, man, you've got this overprotective parent thing bad_ , Tony thought.

"It always hurts. Thank you for the concern, Stark, but I can look after myself," Loki said, brushing imaginary dust from his trackpants.

"My knee hurts from your bony hip," Natasha snorted.

Loki rolled his eyes as he was making for the doorway. "Would either of you care to accompany me on a shopping expedition after I have cleaned up a little? My knowledge of New York is cursory at best."

"Of course!" Tony said eagerly. "Lunch first. Lunch is compulsory."

This little obsession with his new driver would blow over soon, obviously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Captain Britain is both a legit superhero and a personal joke, because when I first saw him he was wearing grey skintight superhero tights and I thought he had no pants on.


	4. Do svidaniya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki begins to settle in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which this is neither my best work - this being a filler before the much more exciting next chapter - and is horribly late. I'm sorry, personal life has been - psssh, you're not interested. Read on.

As it turned out, Loki did have a superpower, and while it wasn't exactly Avengers material the ability to take a shower in less than a minute was still rather impressive.

When Tony commented on it Loki just looked mildly edgy, took his place at the lunch table and thanked Steve for the meal.  
As everyone filed in for the meal, Loki's eyes roamed over them all like he was expecting someone to just attack him.

 _What happened to you?_ Tony couldn't help but think.

-O.O-

As it turned out, through one thing or another - leaving hospitals quickly, a theft of his backpack coming through Heathrow, and a few others - Loki's total number of sets of clothing came to four. His suit, his workout clothes, two pairs of jeans, three t-shirts and a faux-leather jacket. With his cellphone, his backpack, two pairs of shoes, a raincoat and an umbrella, the list of his earthly possessions was a lot shorter than was perhaps fair.

Which is why Tony gave the guy a bonus. His justifications - that he'd driven Tony to the tower brilliantly, that he deserved points for getting one over on Natasha, that he was being rewarded for being so tall - were accepted by Loki with an amused facial expression. The face that Tony was quickly likening to a king watching peasants mud-wrestle.

Poor-quality justifications or not, Tony and Natasha did accompany Loki shopping as Tony said he'd pay for whatever Loki bought.

As Loki roamed the department store looking for jeans in the 'skinny hips and long legs' size, Natasha hung back to talk to Tony.

"He got you good, Nat," Tony chuckled.

"There's a difference between fighting someone who knows you and someone who doesn't," Natasha shrugged. "I forgot he knows me far better than most."

"So, what happened in Nihzny Novgorod?" Tony asked with a cheeky grin.

"Pardon?" Natasha asked.

"Loki said you didn't say you'd seen bigger in Nihzny Novgorod. That's somewhere in Russia, right?" Tony said.

"Yes," Natasha replied. "It's a long story."

"Sounds like an M-rated long story."

"Loki likes to tease," Natasha snorted. "Ignore him."

"I notice you didn't deny anything there, Widow. Don't tell me you're having a Mrs and the Ex situation with Loki and Clint?" Tony said.

"Loki is not my ex anything," Natasha said flatly. "He's a trickster, really."

"Kind of gathered that," Tony said. "He's pretty sassy."

"Nuh-uh. The guy you've got here, that's not Loki," Natasha said, and when Tony worriedly went to reply, she elaborated. "I misspoke. He's Loki Feison or whatever his real name is, but his character is very different to what I remember."

Tony raised an eyebrow, and she went on. "Like I said, he's a trickster, or he was. When he wasn't doing a job, he basically spent his time making jokes, causing chaos and sleeping with anything willing. Does the Agent Loki Feison you've met, currently trying on jeans, seem like that kind of man?"

"No," Tony admitted. "Or not to that extent, I guess. He seems a bit po-faced."  
"It's not uncommon; I've seen it time and time again," Natasha explained. "When a job goes wrong, so wrong that you lose everything you are, well... You tend to lose your passion in the the process too."

"Do you know what happened? Yeah, you said you didn't. But you're a spy. You must know something."

"All I know is what I told you. He went missing six months ago, turned up in a hospital in Iran a while later."

"Well," Tony said, new steel in his voice. "It's my job to fix him then. Make him bubblier than a new bottle of champagne."

"Tony, it's not your job to do anything. If anything, it's mine. I'm his friend," Natasha sounded a mixture of kind and disappointed in herself, like she'd done something wrong.

"If it's a friend's job, then I'll make myself his friend. Watch me. I'll find his favourite alcohol and let him kick my ass a few times in the gym and we'll be away."

Loki himself emerged from the changing rooms, looking wary as always yet pleased to be well-dressed for once. The clothes he was modelling included black jeans, proper leather shoes, a tight green dress shirt, and a new coat that fell to nearly his knees.

Tony raised his eyebrows in surprise. Loki certainly cleaned up well. As it turned out, figure-hugging clothing may have made him show his skinniness, but they also made him look basically edible. Green and black were definitely his colours.

It was as Loki got Natasha's seal of approval, whirled elegantly a little and made his way back into the changing rooms to try another outfit with a flick of his hips that another thought occurred to Tony.

"He's practiced that, hasn't he?" Tony asked.

"Hm?"

"Looking pretty. Looking sexy. You do it too, Nat."

"Tony, when you look as good as Loki, you don't waste it. He's a mess at the moment and you're still staring at him whenever you think no one's noticing," Natasha smirked. "If you can get away with being a _homme fatale,_ you do. Simple."

"I'm not staring!" Tony protested.

"Oh, come on, Tony. I'm not an idiot and neither is he. Just remember, flirting to get information is part of his job, so don't let yourself get wrapped around his finger."

"But he's not working a job right now."

"Force of habit," Natasha shrugged. "It looks like you'll be paying a lot for his clothes."

"Natasha, Natasha, I have more money than I do awesomeness, and that's really saying something. I think I'll be fine."

Loki then swept out of the changing room with his armful of clothing and a weakly grateful smile for Tony. "I'm very thankful for your assistance."

"It's okay. On one condition," Tony said. Loki raised an eyebrow. "You come have a drink with me after dinner."

"If I'm being blackmailed into it..." Loki said with a teasing little smile. "Most certainly."

-O.O-

And therefore, post dinner and post Tony ensuring that Loki ate pudding, the elevator doors leading to Tony's living room slid back to reveal his driver wearing some of his new clothes - navy jeans and a thin black and silver hoodie this time - and welcome Loki into the room.

Loki's eyes flickered rapidly around the room before he relaxed a little and walked up to Tony at the bar.

"Evening, Stark," Loki said.

"Hey, Pixie Stick. What's your poison?" Tony asked, shaking a bottle of his favourite scotch.

"Vodka, if you have it," Loki replied.

"Vodka? Really? You could at least go for something classy," Tony snorted.

"It's an unfortunate habit I picked up in Russia," Loki shrugged. "I can claim to have learned many things from Nat, but the one most strictly practiced was the ability to drink vodka like it's still the potato juice it came from."

Tony laughed at that, sliding Loki a shot glass of neat vodka. The merc threw it back without a flinch.

"Alcohol's your poison then?" Tony asked. "Very iconic. All the bigs spies have their habits."

"I've never been especially famous," Loki chuckled. "I smoked before everything happened. Nobody at the hospital when I was a patient much later figured out that the 'secondary infection' that had laid me low was nicotine withdrawal - it half-killed me, quitting so abruptly, but at least it gave me the experience of feeling my body throw a tantrum before the rather more severe morphine withdrawal some time later."

"Ouch."

"You don't say," Loki said dryly. "I'm hoping to keep the alcohol intake low to avoid that situation again."

"It helps with the pain, though, doesn't it?" Tony guessed. Loki didn't want to be addicted to anything, but vodka was 40% ethanol. Probably his stomach hurt more than the memories of withdrawal did.

"And Mr Stark wins the bonus prize," Loki said with a vague accompanying gesture. "As a side note, I don't actually plan to seduce you out of your fortunes."

"Oh! You heard that. Er..." Tony said. "I didn't think you'd actually do that."

"Your fortunes, sadly, are rather vast and complex. I'll have to seduce you out of smaller wares and work my way up," Loki teased.

Tony chuckled with him, assuming - no, hoping - that Loki was joking. The bright impishness of the mercenary's face would suggest he was.

"Ha. It'd take more than a pretty face to make me drop my 'wares' and come running," Tony shot back.

"Oh, Mr Stark, I am _so_ much more than just a pretty face," Loki snorted.

"Oh god, please stop calling me Mr Stark. Or Stark. It's just Tony."

"Suit yourself. I am so much more than a pretty face, _Tony,"_ Loki purred, layering on his accent extra-thick.

Some English accents are hideous. That one was not, which Tony noted idly as he knew full well Loki was messing with him and was falling for it anyway. "Uhm - where is that accent from? I mean, where are you from?" He said quickly. _Do not flirt back. Flirt bad._

"Westminster, originally, or thereabouts," Loki replied, the impish look on his face replaced with his normal clinicality now the moment was over. "You needn't refer to Nat for information about me; I'm here and hardly dumb or mute."

"Yeah, yeah, I said I was sorry," Tony protested.

"No, you didn't," Loki pointed out.

He did have a point.

"Hm, well, you'll get used to it. By the way, I'm going to dinner with an associate of mine tomorrow night and I'd like you to drive me," Tony said.

"Most certainly. Is there anything else you'd like me to do tomorrow?" Loki asked.

 _Keep talking because your accent is now porn to me._ "Nope, so long as you eat all three meals."

"Then, if it is acceptable, I must leave your companionship for the moment," Loki stood and slid his glass across to Tony. "I have to contact a man about my knives in ten minutes."

"Yeah, sure, go for it," Tony said, a little disappointed that the conversation was ending so quickly. "Good luck, Pixie Stick."

 _"Do svidaniya,"_ Loki said, almost as an afterthought as he left.

 _Well, that was a short conversation, in which I learned almost nothing worth knowing about Loki and I have no idea what he thinks of me at all. You're no Natasha when it comes to spying, Tony,_ he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do svidaniya = Goodbye


	5. Gathering Momentum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We delve a little deeper into exactly what's happening in this verse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, judging by exactly how much is happening in each chapter, we're in this fic for the long haul. Buckle up, sunshines.

It rained all morning.

Apart from brief appearances for food, Loki confined himself to his room, where he claimed he was acclimatising himself to his new laptop.

JARVIS disagreed and said (in his words) "Mr Feison appears to be have shaped his bedding into a burrito-like arrangement, sir, and is currently trying to sleep."

Tony found that mental image cute, but couldn't help but wonder what Loki's problem with rain was.

As it got closer to 6pm when Tony would be leaving to go to dinner with Justine Hammer, he went to go make sure Loki was awake. He probably could've left it to JARVIS, but Tony wanted to see Loki-burrito in person.

He knocked lightly on the door. "Loki, you up? Can I come in?"

A vague noise from inside that was probably a _yes_ allowed Tony a guilt-free entrance.

JARVIS hadn't described it completely accurately; Loki was less of a burrito and more just a huddled figure wrapped as tightly as possible in a blanket as sun shone through the curtains. The rain had stopped an hour or two earlier, and everything was drying out, but evidently its' effect on Loki hadn't worn off.

"Er...Are you okay?" Tony asked.

"I'm excellent," Loki said dryly, muffled by the fact he had blankets over his face. Just his mop of shoulder-length black hair was visible.

"We're leaving in fifteen minutes. I was just checking you were awake," Tony informed him.

"I haven't slept a wink, never you fear," Loki said. "I'll dress and be with you shortly."

"Wow. Uh. What've you been doing under there all day?" Tony asked.

"I haven't spent all day touching myself, if that's what you're asking," Loki teased, his voice mocking.

Tony had not been expected that and was thrown for a loop before he realised Loki was joking and started laughing. "Sure, I believe you. Keep me in mind, Pixie Stick."

"Oh, you _wish,"_ Loki purred. "You'll have to work harder than just a few suggestions to make it into my dreams, Stark."

As it turned out, falling into a flirtatious conversation with Loki was actually inevitable, and Loki didn't seem that fussy that Tony was a guy.

"Pixie, if you're going there, I can make you dream about me for months," Tony replied.

"I'd love to see you try," Loki murmured. "By the way, unless you're planning to watch me dress, then I'd advise you leave my room. I'm not wearing a great deal of clothing underneath this blanket."

Tony was sorely tempted to ask exactly how much clothing, but he had to leave. He had somewhere to be in quarter of an hour and couldn't exactly stand around flirting with his driver. Justine Hammer was not a person to be treated so rudely, despite Tony's love of leaving people waiting.

"Another time," Tony grinned, though Loki couldn't see him from his nest. "I bet that scar is ticklish."

"You'd love to find out, wouldn't you?" Loki said. "Out."

A tad reluctantly, Tony filed out, realising that his question about what Loki had been doing had been easily and smoothly deflected with a sexual reference without him even noticing. That told him that either Loki knew full well Tony was attracted to him, or had a pretty good idea that he was.

Damn spy people.

Fifteen minutes later, Loki was behind the wheel of Tony's favourite car, replesdent in the suit Tony had bought him the day before.

He even had driving gloves. As it turned out, he could go from burrito to badass driver in fifteen minutes.

Tony wondered how many weapons were on his person.

"Out of curiosity, who are you meeting, Master Stark?" Loki asked, all professional as he smoothly turned out of the Stark Tower garage.

"Uh, Justine Hammer," Tony said.

In a moment, Tony could've sworn that _something_ passed over Loki's face. Happy, sad, he didn't know what emotion, but it was just a flicker before his poker face was set firmly in place.

"You know her?" Tony asked.

"I've heard her name in passing," Loki said smoothly. "She's in your line of work, is she not?"

"Yeah. You know Justin Hammer and the whole Vanko thing?" Tony said.

"Vaguely, over a few hospital radios, I think," Loki said.

"Well, Hammer Industries went down like...well, like all of Justin's inventions. The company went under, leaving his daughter, Justine, with nothing. She's just kickstarted it again and she's determined to get all his old contacts under her thumb, which is why I'm practically being blackmailed into dinner with her."

"Hm. I wouldn't think Tony Stark could be forced to meet with anyone he didn't want to," Loki commented.

"She wants to know her enemy; so do I. If she's another Justin then there's no reason to panic, but if she's not then I need to know now."

"Seems logical," Loki said.

"Also, she's a goddamn hellcat."

"Good hellcat or bad hellcat?" Loki asked with a little smirk.

"Haven't seen if she's the good kind. I have this rule, Pixie: Never stick your dick in crazy. And I think there's a pretty good chance she's crazy," Tony said. "Now I'm thinking of Whitney Frost all over again."

"That rule would have saved me a few tight situations," Loki said.

"Oh, yeah? What kind of crazy?" Tony grinned.

"Do you know the stereotype that big crime bosses have attractive, much lusted after teenage daughters and are fiercely protective of them?"

Tony made a noise of confirmation.

"As I discovered in Colombia, that is all too true in some cases. She wanted to elope with me," Loki said with a theatrical wince. "Another good rule to live by: make sure you're aware of escape routes and can redress in less than one minute, should the father's guards come knocking."

"Learned that one when I was fifteen," Tony chuckled. "Never forget. It's just on the right, here, Loki, so if you find a place to pull over..."

Loki slotted onto the curb after a short wait, nodding at Tony. "Send me a text when you want to be picked up."

"Sure. See you. Tell me more about Colombia when I get back, hm?" Tony said, ducking out the door.

Loki nodded respectfully and drove off as Tony entered the restaurant.

-O.O-

Justine Hammer was standing politely next to the table as she waited for Tony to arrive. She, fortunately, did not have many of her father's looks - thick, sleek dark hair, lightly tanned skin, eyes an odd shade of amber - and was rather slim and attractive.  
Barring the bulge in her stomach.

As Tony approached, _he thought don't fucking ask her if she's pregnant because she won't like it. Never ask if a woman's pregnant. If they aren't they'll be pissed off and if they are they won't like being called fat.  
_

"Justine Hammer," she introduced, gripping his hand firmly before awkwardly taking a seat.

_DO. NOT. ASK._

"Tony Stark," Tony replied, though she obviously knew who she was.

"I'll cut to the chase, Mr Stark," Justine said after they'd ordered drinks. Tony was sure she was pregnant - she was drinking organic guava juice, for god's sake! "I am not my father. Namely, my creations actually work."

"I was worried about that," Tony snorted. "No disrespect, sweetheart, but you really don't have much of a legacy to live up to."  
"If the bar is low, it's not going to be hard to surpass father," Justine said briskly. "This is a warning to you now, Tony Stark; I have an idea for something a lot greater than Iron Man, and trust me, it'll make you look like dear old father next to me."

Well. Wasn't that nice.

-O.O-

To Tony's displeasure, most of the meal ended up being Justine making thinly veiled about how well she was going to do and Tony feeling mildly bored and uncomfortable. He could be talking about sleeping with hot women in Colombia with Loki.

It did unsettle him a little, though, that her main point of attack was saying she was going to do better than Iron Man. Iron Man, specifically, not other pieces of his technology that were more salable. Iron Man was an expensive specialty item, not something that the military could employ _en masse._

Once he finally left, he was more than ready to flop down on the back seat of his car and return Loki's greeting.

"Carry me hoooooome," Tony whined.

"I can take you to the garage, but you can drag yourself to the elevator, I think," Loki snorted.

"I'll pay you a bonus," Tony offered.

"One, I no longer possess the abdominal strength to lift you that far," Loki replied. "And two, you cannot buy your way through _everything_ , Tony."

"Watch me."

"I'd rather not," Loki teased.

Oh, Tony liked him.

"So, if it's not part of your client confidentiality thing, tell me about Colombia-" Tony said, but was cut off by JARVIS alerting his phone.

"Sir, Director Fury has issued an Avengers callout for the New York Times Building," JARVIS said. "Would you appreciate directions?"

"No, it's just down the bloody road. Thanks, Jay. Loki, do we have the Iron Man suitcase?" Tony asked rapidly, steeling himself for whatever conflict was on its way.

"In the boot," Loki said, gripping the steering wheel, ready to go. "Where to?"

"Trunk, yeah. Okay, this place is near Times Square. You know where that is? Quickest way is turn left onto 40th, here, then head in a straight line. Right onto Broadway, left onto 42nd. Then goddamn stop when I tell you. You're not getting into this."

Loki hit the accelerator, passed two cars, and twisted through traffic, looking for all the world like a Roman soldier riding a chariot into battle.

Which, Tony reflected, seemed a little incongruous with his command.


	6. Knives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's illusions of Loki slip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, well, I'm hoping to get another chapter out before I go on holiday, but if not, then I humbly apologise.

As they neared the building, Tony was readying himself to leap out and snatch the Iron Man suit out of the trunk.

Unfortunately, whatever was going on was quickly getting out of hand, and there were goddamn masses of people running away, cars blocking the street and general chaos ensuring within about a hundred metres of the building.

Which was where Loki and Tony were when a shoulder-mounted missile smashed into the thankfully empty car next to them.

Tony just managed to follow Loki's desperate shouted command _("Brace yourself!")_ before the car rolled over twice and stayed upside-down, the front embedded in a window.

There was a moment when Tony's ears rang and everything was a blur before he realised he wasn't injured. Loki's quick reminder had probably saved him from a head injury or broken bones.

Unclipping his belt, he fell awkwardly onto the roof of the car.

"You okay?" He spluttered to Loki, who was already following Tony's lead and unclipping himself.

"A few glass cuts, but I seem to be fine," Loki said, opening the door and kicking his way out of the upturned vehicle. "Get out of the car. You're in harm's way."

Loki's directive helped Tony focus through his slightly foggy head. He wriggled out through the broken window, cutting his second favourite suit. It was not a good time for his suits.

Remembering his purpose, Tony tried to wrench the boot of the car open. The mechanism was twisted, but after a kicking and then the application of a metal pole handed to him by Loki, he yanked it open and retrieved the Iron Man suitcase.

Loki himself crouched wearily behind the car, one hand on his stomach as the pain of exertion got to him.

"Go get under cover, Loki," Tony said through the Iron Man before zooming down the road to see what had happened.

HYDRA. A large number of HYDRA men, shouting and blowing things up. Bruce hadn't been deployed for obvious safety reasons, but Clint, Natasha and Steve were all on the ground and working hard, Clint and Natasha fighting, Steve evacuating.

They were armed with some surprisingly outdated weaponry by their standards, solid projectile weapons and various explosives like the one that had flipped their car.

Tony had been fighting them, taking the occasional hit, when a shout behind him drew his attention.

He whirled to see the unmasked leader pointing the nozzle of something large and shoulder-mounted at him.

As Tony got ready to maneouver, the need was taken away when the man mysteriously crumpled. Tony zoomed in and saw the stubby end of a ceramic throwing knife protruding from his bloody eye socket.

 _Holy shit, Loki just killed a guy,_ Tony thought.

"Stark!" Loki shouted, his voice cracking a little at the volume _(The smoking? Or something else?_ Tony wondered, but decided it wasn't the time) "This is a distraction!"

"Yeah, you're distracting me," Tony agreed, firing another shot.

"Find out what this enemy is really attacking! They're drawing your fire!" Loki called.

"What do you mean?" Tony replied.

"I mean-" Loki began, but grew sick of shouting, vaulting across a car bonnet, throwing another knife into the thigh of a HYDRA agent and diving behind a taxicab to get closer. "Stark, they're just mindlessly destroying. This is HYDRA. They are intelligent and focused. Most certainly, they are drawing your fire while they work at another task."

Tony wasn't really paying attention; he was focusing on the fact that Loki's aim was flawless. He had barely looked before throwing that knife. And that Loki didn't hesitate before severely injuring someone.

"Sir, would you like me to scan for HYDRA activity in New York, on Mr Feison's advice?" JARVIS asked.

"Yeah, do it," Tony said. On the corner of his screen, JARVIS began trawling through all available security feeds to find anything suspicious.

This attack was mostly dying down; all the HYDRA agents were knocked out, apart from the one Loki had gored in the eye, and the one Loki was crouched over now.

Tony couldn't help himself. He watched Loki as JARVIS scanned New York, wanting to see what he'd do.

The agent screamed as Loki yanked his knife out of his thigh.

"Where is the true attack?" Loki growled, bringing the bloody knife under his chin.

The only thing the HYDRA agent had for Loki was a wicked grin, a quick "Hail HYDRA!" and a jaw movement that said he'd swallowed his cyanide pill.

It was an old trick by HYDRA and a very effective one, which was why Natasha and Clint had been trying to knock the agents unconscious instead of just restraining them.

Loki made a noise of anger and slammed his palm into the agent's jaw, snapping his neck before the poison could take effect.  
Tony's brain sort of shorted out for a moment.

It had been a game, of sorts, until then. Loki had been a puppy with a hurt paw and Tony had been adopting him to keep him warm and fluffy.

No. Loki was a goddamn panther. In the same way that Natasha was a spider and Clint managed to pull off being a hawk. Loki was a spy, and he was just as capable of killing Tony with his bare hands as anyone else in the Avengers.

Also, he may have some anger issues.

"Sir, there is evidence of possible HYDRA-based activity within City Hall," JARVIS said, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Right now?" Tony asked.

"Yes, sir," JARVIS confirmed.

"Avengers!" Tony called over the comms. "This is a distraction; they're going for City Hall again. I can carry two people at the most."

As he said that, Loki sat down heavily on the cracked and scorched road and clutched his abdomen in pain. Natasha rushed over to him to check he was okay.

"Iron Man, do you need me?" Natasha asked.

"Not if Loki's hurt. It's a stealth operation they're running; shouldn't be too heavily armed," Tony replied, leaving and taking Steve and Clint with him.

"Kisa, are you okay?" Natasha said urgently.

"Uhn - yes. I overexerted a little," Loki mumbled, gently rubbing his scar.

"Thanks for that. I heard you tell Tony about the distraction. It didn't properly occur to me," Natasha smiled.

"Heat of the moment - you were a little busy to be theorising," Loki shrugged.

"Let's get you back to the tower, okay?" Natasha said gently.

"Don't treat me like I'm made of glass, Nat," Loki insisted, leaning on a gun to pull himself to his feet. "I appreciate the kindness, but I'm no child."

"I know, Loki. I'm not trying to put you down. This is what friends do."

Loki grinned lopsidedly. "Been a while since I've had one of those."

"Don't be a killjoy, Loki," Natasha deadpanned, moving across the wrecked road to the other HYDRA agent Loki had killed, wrenching the knife out of his eye and wiping it on the dead man's jumpsuit. "Wouldn't want to lose another one."

"Many thanks," Loki said. "Is commandeering a car acceptable around here or does the fact you're a big-time Avenger these days not give you that much power?"

"We're expected to be the good guys. Grand theft auto isn't really part of that."

"This is why a steady job isn't any fun," Loki said. "Rules. The whole system is rife with rules."

"What system?" Natasha asked, propping Loki against himself as they went over to one of the arriving police cars.

"The employment system," Loki replied. "Disastrous, all of it."

"I'm not certain how you'd know. Officer, can you get us a car? My friend here's hurt. The Avengers can reimburse anyone who needs to be reimbursed."

-O.O-

Tony entered his penthouse, sweaty and exhausted after repelling HYDRA. They'd been in the archives, looking for something, which, as Clint pointed out about eight times, seemed pointless as they were digitised and most were available online. Regardless, it had been a vicious fight to flush them out.

HYDRA was looking for something specific. As there was nothing hugely exciting in the archives, it had to be something obscure.

Natasha was sitting on Tony's couch, cross-legged, looking calm.

Too calm. Tony was worried.

"Tony Stark," Natasha said in that unique deadpan that said that she was burning on the inside.

"Miss Romanov. It's good to see you remember my name," Tony said dryly.

"Why did you put Loki out there?" Natasha said, still deadly calm.

"I didn't! He drove me there and I told him to keep his nose out!" Tony protested.

"So there was absolutely no action you could've taken that would've kept Loki away from the fight?" Natasha asked sharply.

"He's my driver, Nat! He drove me! He's fine, isn't he?" Tony snapped. "Wait, isn't he?"

"Mostly. He's just tired, I think. Injuries take a lot of energy out of you," Natasha said. "Don't change the subject, Tony. Next time you think there'll be a firefight, keep the man who has extremely noticeable PTSD out of it."

"I know, Nat. I want the best for him, too, okay?" Tony sighed. "Look, if it were up to me, I'd have Loki wrapped in a ball of cotton wool. I like the guy, okay? But as he showed today, he can take care of himself. He broke someone's neck because he was frustrated; I'm not going to mess with him!"

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," Natasha countered. "Loki's probably _not_ going to break down in the middle of a fight, but he's still volatile and I'd say he has anger issues. That makes him a liability, and he's a risk to himself as well as others. Keep him out of stress situations, Tony, or you might not like what happens. And I swear, if my friend comes to harm from your actions, you will be a sorry man."

"Okay. No putting the pressure on Loki. I wasn't planning to anyway. Now can I please be left alone to drink and sleep in peace?" Tony said.

"I'm glad you understand me," Natasha said, slinking out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natasha's nickname for Loki, Kisa - a Russian girl's name that means 'kitten' and is rather demeaning for a full-grown man and an agent, but it's still meant affectionately in this case. It's based on the fact Natasha kicked Loki's ass the first time they met and she demeaned him a little. But more on that another time.


	7. Waking up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this fic is officially on hiatus for the next three weeks! There's a tiny possibility I'll update if I write a chapter and there's free internet, but for now, consider this story off for a while. Foreign countries await this noble writer = D but please comment!
> 
> I apologise in the extreme form if this is not my best work, but it's late and I'm panicking about my holiday.

Tony woke up midway through the next morning - fighting HYDRA was exhausting, okay? - showered, dressed, breakfasted, and asked JARVIS for Loki's whereabouts and health.

Loki was well-fed, having eaten dinner last night and breakfast this morning and having tracked six hours of sleep - odd, considering he'd gone to bed at around 10:30 pm and left bed at around 7 - and was currently exercising in the gym.

Remembering with an internal twist of squeamishness Loki snapping that HYDRA agent's neck, Tony had to see him. He wasn't afraid, oh, no - he was curious. Beyond curious. Was Loki even at all affected?

When Tony got down there, Loki was hanging upside-down from a chin-up bar, doing stretches to touch the support pole on each side. He was wearing only sweatpants and his weird soft-soled bootie things, and Tony couldn't shove back the fascination he had with Loki's looks. Yes, he was skinny, and yes, that scar on his stomach was phenomenal, but he was only unfit by Natasha's standards and his muscles were neatly defined. Give him more fat and a little more muscle and he'd look like Adonis. Which Loki probably knew very well.

Upon seeing his employer, Loki twisted neatly to his feet and greeted him smoothly. He'd probably been working for a while on various activities; he was shiny with sweat and there was a small amount of colour in his pale cheeks.

"Good morning, Stark. Is there anything I need to do today?" Loki asked.

"Uh, nope, you're good. You doing okay?" Tony replied.

"I simply strained myself last night. There are no ill effects," Loki said, turning away to pick up his t-shirt from next to the chin-up pole and slip it on.

"No, I meant you personally. You killed two guys last night. You're feeling okay?" Tony said, a slight unsettled feeling coming over him.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I? I've seen worse; I assume you have too."

"It's a SHIELD thing. Every time an agent - that's Avengers too - causes a death, they have to have therapy," Tony explained. "I don't believe in it myself, but I figured I'd check."

"It's not going to weigh down my conscience, Stark," Loki was stretching again, long, fluid movements he'd clearly performed hundreds of times before. "That said, I could claim the therapy fees as emotional expenses," he added with a quirky little smile. When he saw how serious Tony looked, he straightened again. "Look at me, Stark. Those men were causing death and destruction. Look at me, look at the mess that's been made of me. I'm past the stage where I have any respect for the life of someone who lives only to hurt."

"Did HYDRA..." Tony started. He felt a little better, but it was still two lives.

"Not HYDRA, no. But they're of the caste. I've dealt with HYDRA before; their people are brainwashed and dangerous. They do not come under my definition of those to be protected and mercified," Loki stated simply. He leaned down to his water bottle, took a drink, and studied Tony's face again. "You're bothered by my attitude."

"I've seen worse; I assume you have too," Tony replied, quoting Loki.

Loki's lips twisted back into the quirky smile. "A question presents itself; was that you quoting my attitude or rebutting my statement?"

"Bit of both," Tony shrugged. "But was that you countering my rebuttal or deflecting an enquiry about your past?"

Loki looked strangely delighted by Tony's clever counter. "Quick tongue. What else can you do with it?"

 _Still deflecting, again with the flirting,_ Tony thought. "You'll have to find out for yourself."

"Perhaps I will," Loki grinned wickedly. "I've almost finished my workout; would you care to see me practice my knives?"

"Hell yeah!" Tony said excitedly. "Legolas - Clint - he's got his own range that Steve and Nat use too. It's all padded walls and rigged with 3-D projectors so you can do simulations and stuff. There's this one Clint made where you're in a forest in Germany and you have to get eight pages. Unless _it_ gets you first."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "It?"

"Slender Man. You know?" Tony said.

"Not to the best of my recollection," Loki shrugged.

 _Tony, he's had his head in a hole in the sand for six months. You're a moron,_ Tony thought. "Well, it's scary. But it's better, because you can try kill him," Tony said cheerfully.

"Oh? Does it work?"

"Nope. Clint always loses the game first, Nat isn't that interested, and Steve doesn't really get it. You, Pixie Stick, you could be the one. You could do it," Tony said.

Loki did look rather amused. "I may just try it when I feel a little better. Today, I'd rather practice my aim."

Despite the fact Loki was not going to be fighting Slender Man, Tony still wanted to see Loki work. Evidently his little fascination with Loki was going strong.

The two HYDRA agents, well, Tony could see Loki's logic there. They were brainwashed lower forms of life. Loki had lowered their priority in terms of their lives vs. civilian lives. Nothing to worry about.

-O.O-

Tony and JARVIS were conspiring to test Loki. That was, they were manning the projectors.

"C'mon, Jay, how about a unicorn with chicken drumsticks for legs?" Tony said. "Does it show that I'm hungry?"

"Not at all, sir," JARVIS replied, synthesising the image and projecting it leaping out of the wall.

Tony watched Loki, watched as Loki took in the creature, watched as Loki's quick green eyes scanned it before deciding on fatal zones and throwing two knives, one across the front leg to cripple it and one into the jugular. Both passed through, of course, but JARVIS confirmed it as a kill shot.

The serious look on Loki's face melted down into amusement as he went to yank his knives from the wall. "I'm not sure of the symbolism of a food unicorn, but there must be something Freudian in there somewhere."

"I'm not trying to marry it or fuck it, so I think we're okay there... You wanna try a simulated environment? They don't look real, but they're close enough," Tony asked.

"I think I have done enough today, but may I just have a look?" Loki replied.

Tony switched on the last used setting and started to watch Loki.

He registered movement in the fake sky and big shining puddles on the ground before Tony's eyes snapped back to the controls. _Rainy Night in Manhattan._ Rain bad. Water bad. Tony just caught a panicked look in Loki's eyes before JARVIS followed his hissed command and turned it off.

"Sorry," Tony said awkwardly as Loki - attempting to be subtle and failing - took a few deep breaths.  
"For what?" Loki said.

"For, uh, the rain thing. I didn't look."

"What about the rain?" Loki said nonchalantly, his poker face perfect.

"Er, nothing, I suppose. Hey, it's time for lunch. You said you'd eat," Tony said.

Loki didn't want to admit he had a fear of water, or so it seemed to Tony. Either he was in denial or he didn't want to talk about it, and Tony knew not to push it in either case.

Two days of living in the Avengers Tower, and Tony was completely and utterly fascinated by Loki.

-O.O-

Tony was working on going through security footage of the latter HYDRA break-in to see what was going on for some of the afternoon, followed by repairing a few broken pieces of the Iron Man after the fight and then working on a new lightweight carbon nanotubing armour he'd been working on. Clint and Natasha fought in plain old cotton sometimes. This could be used as a knifeproof, semi-bulletproof alternative that would make everyone a lot happier.

When he came up, late, for dinner, he walked in on everyone watching a movie.

He'd realised when Clint, Natasha and Steve moved in that there was a certain camaraderie between people in their profession. Steve wasn't a SHIELD agent, no, but he was military and he'd seen _stuff_ and taken bad orders and lost good men, and for that, Clint and Natasha accepted him quickly and easily. Loki was no different. Even Bruce was accepted without question, and none of them had any qualms about having Tony around either.

There was a three seater and a two seater couch in the living room, as well as two armchairs. Steve and Bruce occupied the smaller couch, one on each end, and Clint was sitting was Natasha leaning affectionately into his side with her legs stretched out to prod Loki on the leg, who looked slightly uncomfortable in the group setting - so he'd probably been coerced into attending - but fond of the gentle touch.

The things the Avengers had seen really did bring them together.

What was the phrase Tony had once thought? They'd all screamed before. It sounded strange, but it was the best way to describe it - they'd all known an ultimate horror and terror before. They all had nightmares, and there was a silent agreement of unity between them.

"Kisa, pass the popcorn over to Clint and I," Natasha smiled, and Loki took the bag from Bruce and handed it over.

 _Kisa?_ Tony thought. Outwardly, he collected his dinner and sat himself down in an armchair, enjoying the peace, long may it last.

-O.O-

_Three days later..._

It was around four in the morning when shit got real.

That was, JARVIS sounded an alarm that Tony had once set under the assumption he'd never need, and as _Ice, Ice Baby_ hollered through his living room Tony jolted violently awake.

JARVIS's tampering alarm. He never thought he'd hear it.

"Jay!" Tony shouted. "Are you okay?"

"I...am uncertain, sir. I have been tampered with. My response could therefore be inaccurate," JARVIS replied.

Tony threw on a pair of pants and a jacket, making his way out of his room and dashing barefoot to the elevator. "Jay, are any Avengers awake?"

"Yes, sir. Agents Barton and Romanov were woken by the alarm. Mr Feison is also conscious."

"Get everyone in my lab, as soon as possible," Tony blurted. "This is serious."

He scrambled out of the elevator to one of his few manual workstations, logging on and accessing JARVIS.

The thing was, an AI like Tony's was insanely complicated. It wasn't Space Invaders; JARVIS was effectively a living person, and finding a tamper was the rough equivalent of tracking a cancer cell.

"JARVIS, compare yourself to your backup from yesterday," Tony sighed.

"All backup files shows signs of the same tampering, sir."

"Fuck. Fuck!" Tony said. "Do you know what the tampering is?"

"I am afraid, sir, that I cannot ascertain which files have been tampered with, owing to the changes made by said tampering," JARVIS replied.

"Okay. It's not serious. Do you know if they accessed my files or your code?" Tony asked.

"My code, sir. Beyond that, I could not tell you."

Tony couldn't trust JARVIS all of a sudden. JARVIS had been tampered with; that was supposed to be impossible. Perfect.  
It had to be Hammer. She was the only enemy he had at the moment with the brains and the motive, insofar as he was aware.

But what was she looking for? Stealing JARVIS or altering him wouldn't be much of a bonus to her.

Tony's head dropped in his hands. It was going to be one of those nights.


	8. Technology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony tries to figure out both JARVIS and his driver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Ngehehe! And in that time I've completely sorted out in my head where this story is going; it's going to be a long one, may surprise you and will hopefully be a pleasure for me to write.
> 
> For now, have a quiet peaceful chapter. I wrote this, but no more, in my time away; I was taking a break from writing. So sorry, but I won't be updating a bunch of chapters suddenly.
> 
> Also, one thing I love about this story is that I've now already introduced all important plot points and no one's picked up on most of them. Yay!

All the Avengers arrived shortly afterwards, looking exhausted, having been woken up mid-sleep. Tony noted vaguely that Loki looked _bad_ , like he hadn't slept at all.

For the first time in a while, though, Loki's fragile well-being was not his priority.

"JARVIS has been tampered with," Tony blurted. "I don't know how, or by who, but it happened."

Everyone shot into action, looking around Tony's lab for an intruder, except Bruce and Loki, who started examining Tony's screen.

"Was it internal or external?" Loki asked, looking at the lines of code on Tony's screen.

"What?" Tony said.

"Was the hacking internal or external?" Loki asked.

"I haven't checked yet."

"Do so. If it's based on the Stark Enterprises server then you can access a list of employees on the network currently and narrow the list of suspects down," Loki explained. "If it's external then tracking the source will be far more difficult, accepting the likelihood that whoever did this covered their tracks well."

"You got experience in this sort of stuff?" Clint asked.

Loki just shrugged. "That's not computing, that's common sense."

"Loki's right," Bruce added blearily. "All your employees have to sign on, so you should at least get an idea of what's going on if it's from inside the company."

Tony made an acknowledging noise as he immediately shoved his brain into workspace. "Sorry for waking you guys up. More of a me emergency than a team emergency."

"Don't be ridiculous, Tony. It could very easily be a lot more than this," Natasha said, Loki nodding agreement.

"I'd prefer to stay here than return to sleep," Loki said, pulling a computer chair to himself and taking a seat.

Not everyone had Loki's apparent interest; it wasn't really Steve's field, Clint was getting up early for the SHIELD course he was taking, and Bruce liked his sleep - he was tired easily by his condition often. Natasha, though, she shared Loki's keen suspicion of anything out of the ordinary, and someone messing with the most advanced AI in the world was definitely out of the ordinary.

As Tony started his analysis of JARVIS's activity, she took a seat next to Loki, and the small part of his brain that wasn't focused he noted they were talking.

"Kisa, you don't look like you've been sleeping," Natasha murmured.

"I haven't, or at least not well," Loki muttered in reply.

"Anything I can do to help?" Natasha asked.

"Time. Everything repairs with time," Loki said, and it was exactly what he'd said to Tony. "One cannot hurry time."

"Tony's probably got an app for that," Natasha replied, and Tony swore he could hear a smile in her voice.

"Working on it," Tony joked. He reasoned he was probably welcome to the conversation, because Loki and Natasha had chosen to speak in English when they had at least Russian as another common language; Tony occasionally heard them talk in it to each other. Then he read his screen. "Okay. 42 Stark employees, 41 of those overseas, had access to JARVIS when the tamper happened - 37, 36 of those overseas, are still using him. That's pretty normal; he's good to ask to retrieve information for higher-ups. No one accessed his code, only his user interface. So this was probably external, but all our information is recorded by JARVIS, so it might not be accurate."

"That seems like a flawed system," Natasha pointed out.

"Red, you don't get it. JARVIS is like the _Titanic_ of AIs. The unsinkable computer brain. The greatest bundle of fiber optics there ever was. I wasn't exactly expecting this."

"It seems that your 'Titanic of AIs' has hit an iceberg," Loki replied.

"I'll admit that was a bad metaphor," Tony said.

"Simile. Regardless, the event happened. Is anything wrong with JARVIS now?" Loki asked.

"That's just it. I don't know!" Tony said. "I'm gonna be here for a while. Feel free to get me a coffee."

To his surprise, while Natasha did go back to bed, Loki actually made him a coffee and sat down next to him, watching him work and occasionally getting to his feet to observe items around the lab. He seemed to understand the zone that Tony was in, refraining from asking questions and instead figuring things out for himself. He was pretty good lab company, Tony decided, and he resolved to show him more later, because the merc clearly understood a lot of what he was looking at.

He remembered Natasha's comment on Loki. _He's probably the only person I know that I could honestly say might be smarter than you._ Tony was starting to agree. That Loki was smart, not that Loki was smart _er_. Psh.

After a couple of hours, Loki was leaning back in one of the computer chairs sipping a hot chocolate and reading Tony's screen over his shoulder.

"I don't get it," Tony finally admitted.

"Hm?" Loki sat up and properly paid attention to what was going on.

Tony, well, Tony was momentarily distracted by the warm chocolatey breath playing over the back of his neck, but he was determined to get Loki's opinion on this.

"You know that old addage, that an army's as fast as its slowest soldier or security's as strong as its weakest link or whatever?" Tony asked, and on receiving a nod from Loki, he said "This is why it doesn't make sense. JARVIS is the strongest link, the fastest soldier. You want to get at me, you'd sneak around the back door, not try and punch in the big main one."

"It does seem a little odd."

"But it _worked._ That's the most bizarre bit. The only person in the whole world smart enough with this kind of tech to break JARVIS is _me,_ Pixie, and I didn't do it. I'd think anyone with the last name Hammer would be too much of a moron to do anything of this scale, but apart from her, I can't think of anyone with the motivation."

"You may be thinking the wrong way," Loki said. "You're thinking of the perpetrator before you examine the evidence. What do you know for certain?"

"Someone tampered with JARVIS at 4:09 am this morning. I don't know where the tamper came from, who did it, what they did, how they did it, or why. I know that it happened and I know when it happened, but I don't know when for certain either because the tamperer could've messed with Jay's timekeeping and alarm."

Loki's eyebrows drew together in a frown. "Whoever did this clearly knew what they were doing. My knowledge of hackers is limited - they come and go and I've been out of the loop for some time - but I am unaware of anyone with this capability, though I will ask around. If there is someone who is that good, they may hire themselves out, and this could still be Hammer's work. Unless they left an obvious signature, however, I don't think this crime is traceable or even reportable. The police would write it off as a malfunction."

"But-" Tony began.

"I know that JARVIS would never malfunction like that, but do you think they care?"

"No, I suppose not. Do you think there's any way I could catch this guy?" Tony asked.

"If he was good at his work, erased his tracks, and did not succumb to pride and leave a signature, then I'm sorry, Tony, but I don't think so."

"It was Hammer."

"I believe you, but I doubt a judge ever would," Loki said. "It's a rough situation. I think you should create external backups of JARVIS's system and perhaps a tracking system completely unrelated to JARVIS for anything that enters his code, tracks covered or no."

"I'm planning for more coffee and both of those ideas today. You're welcome to stay here if you're interested, but I'm just going to be here at my computer," Tony said.

"On the contrary, I've long held an interest in your work," Loki admitted. "If it wouldn't disturb you, I'd like to stay. When I was in university I studied an early version of your current RT powered car - though it was powered by nuclear energy - in the days when I was considering physics as my major."

"Yeah, the health risk meant that one didn't get far, but the idea of the new type of engine was sound; just needed a different power source. What, you did science? Didn't pick you for a nerd."

"Bachelor of Science, first honours," Loki said with a crooked smile. "Master of Psychology, first honours; Bachelor of Acting, first honours."

"I'm sensing a few honours there," Tony grinned. "Psychology and acting? What are you, a professional liar?"

"I trained afterwards as a spy, so yes," Loki pointed out.

"You're so British," Tony snickered. "You're basically just James Bond."

"He had blue eyes."

"Close enough," Tony shrugged. "You know what would endear you to me, Mr Bond? Another cup of coffee."

-O.O-

Tony implemented both of Loki's suggestions, and spent the whole evening overstimulated from coffee and lack of sleep. He was too paranoid about another hacking to go to bed that night.

Loki, despite the amount of time he physically spent in bed, did not sleep much, and Tony knew exactly why.

After everyone went to bed that night, Tony and Loki gravitated into the living room, where they watched _Mean Girls_ , and Tony watched Loki to see his face slip into a genuine smile. It was a good look.

Loki sat on the other couch quite noticeably.

He was hot and cold, really - he flinched when Tony shook his hand on meeting, but didn't mind leaning into his personal space earlier when Tony had been working; he shied away from gatherings like at the airport, but he'd confidently moved into a battle between two forces much more powerful than himself. Right now, he was running cold, notably distancing himself from Tony for no reason except that he felt the need. He did the same thing with Tony's name - Tony when he was open to contact, Stark when he was feeling distant, and Mr or Master Stark when being professional.

Whatever the cause, Tony wanted Loki better, so he had to be careful to not pressure him.

Tony had held up one end of his blanket and invited Loki under it, but Loki had declined. That was what he was supposed to do, right?

After _Mean Girls_ and after _Skyfall,_ there was a slight patter of rain outside. Tony wanted to see how Loki would react, and true to form, Loki stood up abruptly. "I am retiring to bed."

"Goodnight, Pixie Stick," Tony said. Just as Loki reached the door, Tony added "Look, I'm not going to ask, that would be a dick move, but if you ever want to talk about the water thing then I'm all ears. I've got a few bad memories myself and sometimes it helps to talk."

"Thank you for the offer, Tony," Loki said tiredly, and Tony could see his silhouette slump ever so slightly, weighed down. "Tonight, I'll have to decline. Sleep well."


	9. Figuring it out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony was starting to think he was getting a measure on Loki. Maybe not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Er, sorry about the lateness. My internet curled up and died in a hole. Also, sorry about the seeming irrelevance of this chapter. It's building to something, honest.

Tony bounded out of bed, refreshed from a full night's sleep, went down to the lab, and immediately solved all his problems and had Hammer arrested by lunchtime. In a parallel universe.

In the real one, Tony dragged himself - as his legs seemed to have jellified - out of bed and into the elevator, exhausted from only three hours of sleep, and then plonked heavily into his wheelie chair for a day of sifting through JARVIS's code and looking for anything suspicious. At the moment, manual searching was all he had to go on. If Mystery Hacker struck again, he'd set up a program that would track what they did, but for this strike, he had less than nothing; he had potential misinformation.  
For all his high-tech, Tony was stuck right back at good old low-tech. And it was annoying.

After rubbing his hair, blinking ferociously at the screen and humming to himself for what seemed like forever, there was a gentle knock on the glass blast doors of the lab.

Loki, of course, holding food for both of them.

Tony immediately let him through. "Mornin'."

"Good afternoon," Loki corrected, setting the tray of food at another bench so Tony had to wheel over to get it. "By mutual agreement, JARVIS and I decided you needed a break and lunch."

Half the sandwich was already down Tony's throat before he replied. "Thanks. I forget to eat sometimes."

"JARVIS informed me. Any progress?" Loki asked.

"No. Unless you count strained eyes, but I don't," Tony sighed. "Whoever did this, they were good."

"I've been looking into it," Loki said, nibbling thoughtfully on his apple.

"Really?"

"Mm. Little useful information so far, but this will hopefully change - do you require my services tomorrow?"

"Uh, no. As far as I know," Tony said.

"Then tomorrow I am meeting with a contact of mine. If there are any mercenary hackers of this skill level widely known, then I can pass their names on to you after this meeting."

"Thanks. Why're you so into this anyway?" Tony asked, a little suspiciously.

"For one, guarding your wellbeing is more than standing around looking intimidating. For another, I am hugely curious as to who could have done this," Loki answered. "And let me not deny my interest in your work. I've met many people, Tony, and you're undoubtedly one of the most interesting."

"Honestly? Time you've been here, I've not actually done much," Tony admitted.

"I don't just mean now," Loki tutted, as though this was obvious. "Your technological capabilities interest me, as I have said. As does the tale of your formation into Iron Man."

Yeah, a story of torture, imprisonment and eventual freedom leading to self-improvement but tinged with nightmares probably would appeal to what Tony knew of Loki.

"Well," Tony said, a little defensively. "If you're here looking for tales of suspense from my time in Afghanistan, google it, cause I don't want to talk about it."

Loki gave a short smile. "I don't want to talk about it either, Tony."

"Oh," Tony said, a tad awkwardly. Loki didn't want horror stories. He wanted someone to relate to. "So, uh, what're you up to today?"

"I've done my workout," Loki shrugged. "So nothing in particular. I was planning to watch you work, if that is acceptable to you."

"Sure. Why not? Might get a bit bored, but yeah, go for it," Tony said, stuffing the last of lunch down his throat and wheeling back over to his workdesk. "I've done all the fun techy preventive stuff. Now I sit around sifting through Jay's code in hope of finding something unusual."

"I'm imagining that's a lot of code."

"And you'd imagine correctly," Tony replied absently, continuing the brain-numbing reading.

For around twenty minutes, Tony continued working as Loki began where he'd left off the previous day, perusing Tony's lab. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dummy try to make friends with Loki. This involved Loki having his hip accidentally punched by the robot arm, but Loki took no offence and instead shook the hand when it was offered again.

Tony smiled to himself.

After a while, though, the quiet started to get to him. "Talk to me, Pixie."

"Hm?" Loki said. "About what?"

"Anything. Everything. Hell, tell me about Colombia. You never did tell me what happened there."

Loki shrugged and came over to sit next to him. "There's not exactly much to tell."

"Don't care. I need something to listen to and I want to know more about you," Tony said a little distractedly.

Loki gathered his thoughts for a moment before beginning. "It wasn't especially long ago. Two and a half years, give or take. I was approached by the vigilante force of Colombia - essentially, angry citizens who were weary of corruption and of the rampant drug cartels running their daily lives - who'd heard of me through a previous acquaintance of mine - a Colombian assassin who aided me in my affairs with HYDRA some time earlier - and wished me to infiltrate the lead cartel of their district and tell them of the leaders of this organisation. For what, I do not know, though it seems logical to assume revenge was in order. Do you follow?"

"Mm," Tony replied. Loki's voice was nice background noise. Very soothing.

"To my good fortune, the cartel in question was at the time looking for an English or at least UK citizen to aid them in increasing thoroughfare into my home country. I offered myself, and was absorbed neatly into the cartel. I met one of the boss's deputies, and after working with them for a few weeks, the boss himself."

"Wait, they trusted you?"

"No. There was initiation, amongst other things. But I had the tattoo lazered," Loki replied. "It was hideous."

"Uh, you had a tattoo?" Tony said, cracking a grin.

"Of an Andean Condor holding a coca leaf in its beak, yes," Loki said with a self-deprecating grin. "I fed them no small amount of misinformation about Scottish drug laws whilst recording the names and appearances of everyone in sight. After around a month of working in the cartel, I met Anita."

"The boss's daughter?" Tony said.

"The very same. Call it a cliche, but with the fighting, drinking, stealing and cocaine snorting happening around the lower levels of the camp - though such debauchery was not allowed with anyone above the rank of lowly worker - there was only one universal rule the boss imposed in camp: no one touches Anita. Unfortunately, as the camp was full of lonely muscular men, Anita was against this rule, and simply conducted a series of affairs with her father's personnel. Personally, I don't blame her. There _were_ many attractive men around camp," Loki said, and Tony snuck a glance sideways to see Loki grinning wickedly in reminiscence.

"Wait," Tony said. "One, how old was Anita, and two, why was she just hanging around?"

"She was nineteen, and this was conducted during the summer break of her university," Loki answered. "It did take her a while to catch wind of the cute English newcomer to the camp, which I believe was intentional on her father's part. Either way, she one day snatched me by the belt and dragged me into her bedroom for a thorough working-over."

Tony saw that reminiscent grin widen. "Happy memories, huh?"

"Oh, yes," Loki said brightly. "More than that, though, she was full of information. I'm fluent in Spanish and her English was passable, so communication was easy, and she had much to ask about life in England and my life as a mercenary, so in exchange she told me more than she perhaps should've about her father's people."

"The whole thing sounds like it worked out in your favour," Tony commented idly.

"Verily so. In any case, this led to what I told you; frantically redressing and scrambling out the window to escape her father's rather irritated deputy."

Tony laughed at that. "Really classy, Pixie."

Loki answered with an impish grin and "That's me. Agent Loki Feison, dignified to the letter."

"Also, your name sounds really cool. Did you pick it, or...?" Tony said.

"I chose it, though it does bear some similarities to my actual name," Loki answered. When Tony went to ask, he added "I'd rather keep that to myself, if you don't mind. My parentage is...suspect."

"That's fine, I guess," Tony said. "Just..what's your first name? I'm curious. You don't have to tell me."

"Luke. Lucas," Loki answered with a tight smile. "I much prefer Loki."

"Luke's cute," Tony replied reassuringly. "So what happened with you and Anita?"

"Eventually, the Colombian vigilantes were planning to launch a stealthy assault on the camp - the politics of the area really were irritatingly complicated - so I handed in my resignation and told Anita I was to leave. As it turned out, she was rather fond of me and wished to elope with me to England. Not only was I not headed to England, but I didn't particularly want a nineteen-year-old spouse on my tail, so this was not especially convenient to me, and I did end up leaving her behind," Loki said. "I regretted that later - the attack on the camp apparently turned more violent than expected and I don't know what happened to her."

Tony was completely paying attention now, JARVIS's code ignored as Tony listened to Loki actually open up. "You could look for her."

"She was no fool; it was fairly obvious who collapsed her father's cartel, and if we met again, odds are rather than anything affectionate, the meeting would be painful for me and highly enjoyable for her," Loki shrugged. "In any case, I simply wondered if she survived. Beyond that, her wellbeing isn't of that much interest to me."

"Hm," Tony said, focusing again on his work. "I can look her up, though. If you like. What's her last name?"

"Sanchéz. Though that is a rather common last name in her area," Loki said.

"Anita Sanchéz..." Tony muttered, minimising JARVIS's window for a minute to type her into firstly into Google, which produced a million results of a million Anitas, and after trying a few other parameters, trying the SHIELD database. "Anita Sanchéz seems to have taken over her father's job and runs a pretty good percentage of Colombia. Not bad, especially since women don't usually make it as drug barons. SHIELD has its eye on her because she's gotten too powerful, by their standards."

Loki chuckled at that, leaning over Tony's shoulder. "Well, she always was good at wrapping people around her fingers."

"Looks like it," Tony said amusedly. "Uh, thanks. For telling me about her and Colombia."

And it did mean a lot, in a way. Loki had told him a lot about himself, and he was pretty reserved. Also, Tony's internal debate as to Loki's sexuality had been somewhat settled - open and willing for a good time, regardless of gender.

But it was more than that. Loki spoke openly, and even told him his first name. He was having a good day as far as openness went, and Tony could just maybe push that. "Hey, my brain's malfunctioning. I'm not gonna be able to keep up the sifting through code all day. You wanna spar later?"

Sparring was pretty much the foremost of acknowledged activities for bros in the tower. This was a tradition that Natasha had started and everyone had carried on.

"Whyever not?" Loki said. "If you need to focus, I can leave you alone for now."

"Nah. If you wanna stay here, you're good company and I like your voice, so whatever you want," Tony said, forcing his brain to work on coding.

Loki shrugged and continued to look over Tony's shoulder at endless lines of code.

-O.O-

After a few more hours, Tony's brain was completely fried. At some point, Loki had picked up one of Tony's physics manuals - mechanics of flight - and started to read, and the merc's brain was equally fried by the time Tony was ready to call it an afternoon.

Tony had been deadly serious when he'd challenged Loki to spar with him, so they split up to get changed into workout clothes.

When they looked at each other across the matting laid out in the gym, Tony felt a little awkward. One, he was conscious of Loki's injuries, and two, well, he thought Loki was pretty and so freaking smart that full contact sparring might not be a great idea insofar as dignity was concerned.

As it turned out, Tony needn't have worried. Clint, who, along with Natasha, was looking forward to seeing someone get their ass kicked, counted them in, and all of a sudden Tony was on his back on the ground.

 _"Whatthehell,"_ Tony gasped as he heard Clint's laughter ring out across the gym.

Loki was grinning as he helped him back to his feet.

This time, Tony was ready.

When he'd watched Natasha fight Loki, he'd thought that Loki was fast, but as he'd been fighting someone just as fast as himself, it hadn't shown too much. But holy crap, Loki was _fast._

Loki pulled Natasha's trick next, and even though Tony had seen it several times before he wasn't expecting it from Loki and got pinned rather neatly by Loki's mile-long legs.

"You sneaky little-" Tony snorted, shoving Loki on the arm as Loki let him go. "That's Natasha's thing!"

"I'd be fairly useless as a so-called master of hand to hand combat if I didn't pick up tricks here and there," Loki shrugged, helping Tony up again.

"Master of Mystery, Agent Loki Feison," Tony grinned.

"That's me," Loki said cheerily.

Tony couldn't help but be delighted himself at what a good day Loki was having. Over the last - well, nearly a week, and wow, that wasn't long considering it felt like he'd been around for ages - Tony had realised that Loki's mood was foremostly dictated by the weather, which was sparkly today. After that, it was just extremely variable, and Tony was pretty sure that depended on the darkness of thoughts running around that dark-haired head.

The way Tony saw it, if he could get Loki to open up about himself, then he could help make those thoughts better, just like Tony had learned to the hard way. There was logic there, right?

This time, Tony didn't let himself get taken so quickly - he noticed that Loki liked to use his speed and a fancy move to win the fight as soon as possible, as he wasn't fit or strong enough for a long fight. He was probably more able to take Loki on if he didn't get taken down by Loki as easily at the start.

Clint counted down, grinning widely at the entertainment value of watching his best friend and his whatever-Loki-was fight.

Loki lunged to Tony's side, index and middle fingers extended rigidly to jab Tony in the kidney, and Tony was nearly too slow but he managed to grab Loki's wrist to pull him forward and sweep his front foot from under him. Loki fell to one knee, but Tony only had time to catch that wicked grin on Loki's face before Loki pulled him by his shirt and rolled him over his back, leaving Tony on his back.

Evidently, no objection to playing dirty here.

Which only opened up a new world of opportunities for Tony.

At least three well-executed and nearly successful strikes later, Tony was feeling slightly advantaged. Loki was tiring from the sudden movements, his lack of sleep and his workout in the morning; Tony was not, barring slight sleep deprivation.

As Tony could tell, Loki needed one good move, or his odds of winning would become almost non-existent.

And Loki got it. A feint drew Tony into stepping forward, and Loki knocked his knee from under him and tumbled him to the floor. Tony's brain managed to catch up as Loki pinned him on his back.

From then, all Tony registered was how close Loki's impish face was to his and exactly in how many places Loki's body was contacting his. Loki seemed to be thinking the same thing, and if Tony wasn't wrong, Loki's pupils dilated ever so slightly.

There was a very pregnant moment in which Tony thought about Loki in his lab, reading an advanced physics textbook with ease and being gentle and affectionate with Dummy.

Then Clint had to break it by saying "Just make out already!"

Loki's face darkened subtly, remembering himself, and he climbed off Tony, helped him to his feet, murmured "Thank you for the practice, Stark," and made his way out.

Tony just stared at the doorway for a minute before scowling at Clint. "I was enjoying my sparring session, thank you very much."

"Definitely enjoying yourself," Clint beamed innocently. "One way or another."

"You pissed him off, you giant pigeon," Tony sulked.

"He'll deal with it somehow," Clint shrugged.

"He was probably just trying to stay professional, Tony. Don't take it personally," Natasha added.

"I know," Tony sighed. "It's just, I thought we were getting somewhere."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I know someone'll ask *coughs loudly* - no, Anita is not a relevant character for later, except she may be mentioned in passing. I needed an anecdote and for some reason I thought of Loki's adventure in Colombia around the time I first started planning this story.


	10. Ice, ice baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as Tony thinks things are going okay, they suddenly really aren't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, I'm so inspired for this story right now - I hope I can hold onto it! And I actually like this chapter.

Loki turned up to dinner that night to rapidly stuff down food and vanish without a word.

Tony had been hoping for Loki's company the next day down in the lab, but the rain that picked up in the early morning and lingered for the whole day crushed any chance of that.

However, when Tony crept upstairs in the afternoon to see if Loki was going to his meeting about merc hackers, Loki had already left. JARVIS said he'd already been gone for twenty minutes, but however he'd done it, it had been covert.

Letting Loki have his independence, Tony told Natasha where Loki was and slipped back down the lab. He hadn't yet found anything in Jay's code that didn't match his notes, so personality algorithms were fine. He'd finally finished that and was moving onto functional calculations.

Turning music on always helped, so Tony did and let his brain sink down into numbers and letters and assorted other symbols.

A cool, strong hand clutched his shoulder a questionable amount of time later.

"Yah!" Tony said. "Mute!"

Tony whirled around as the music stopped to see Loki standing there, looking very serious, still wearing his wet raincoat and clutching his umbrella.

"Tony, my apologies for disturbing you. I just returned from my meeting, and while she could not tell me anything about computer experts of this level for hire, she could tell me something of importance."

"What?"

Loki looked lethally serious as he said "An anonymous offer was placed on the open market for someone to hack into a complex artificial intelligence that was likely JARVIS. To my displeasure, I do not know or have any simple ways of knowing who placed that offer or who accepted it, but it has been accepted and the money for offer was substantial. You have an intelligent enemy, Tony."

Tony let out a sigh and let his head fall back. Oh joy. "She really couldn't tell you anything?"

Loki began to strip off his coat after throwing his umbrella to the side; Tony couldn't help but notice he subconsciously avoiding even touching the water.

 _Showering must be goddamn torture for him with that kind of fear,_ Tony thought. _I can really respect how hard he must be trying._

"No, but the offer was placed on the internet, so she could at least advise me on where to go. With your recent practice of trawling code, I thought you may be able to trace it," Loki said.

That...was actually extremely useful. The fact that whoever had done this _(Hammer)_ hadn't been able to attempt the hacking themselves meant they might not have been able to cover their tracks on the internet.

"Thanks, Pixie," Tony said, immediately kicking his brain into action.

Loki sat down next to Tony in his usual chair - he had a usual chair? - and directed him to the website.

"What the hell does all this mean?" Tony asked.

"It's in code," Loki said, looking over the lines. "Don't want the authorities shutting it down. This is where most northern USA and Canadian offers are placed."

"I'll take your word for it," Tony said awkwardly, looking over the lines. "How do you translate this?"

"It changes regularly. This is an easy one. It's an alternating system of Dutch and German words, switching languages every two words. I don't speak any Dutch and my German is patchy, so unless you want to reveal any hidden talents, I'd recommend Google Translate," Loki said.

Translating the page so they could find the relevant category was tedious work.

Tony actually admired the code. It wasn't foolproof, by any means, but Dutch and German had similarities in appearance to those who didn't speak them, so most trying to translate it into English using either language would end up with a string of semi-sensical gibberish. In terms of authorities not stumbling across the website and realising what it was, it was a decent system.

Something occurred to Tony as he was methodically working. He'd found the correct category and was scanning through recent posts. "Why didn't JARVIS tell me you came in?"

Loki shrugged. "I don't know. Perhaps that is an error - reducing security to your laboratory. I would look into it."

"I will," Tony said, already running over the possibilities.

The amount of mostly illegal things that Tony was slowly translating was mind-blowing. Some were jokes, they _had_ to be, because the real world just wasn't like that, right?

Loki was actually giggling at some of the posts. Tony was watching him out of the corner of his eye, at how Loki's face brightened with mischief as he read.

Despite the rain, the trip out seemed to have done Loki good - he was using Tony instead of Stark and seeming bright and open, if a little serious when it came to the whole hacking thing.

It hit Tony right then - Loki missed it. From what Tony had seen of him, Loki loved his old merc life. He was a man of action and tactics and adventure, and being injured, sitting around Stark Tower while the Avengers, including Natasha, an old contact, were perfectly able and fighting the forces of evil? It had to be burning him inside. No wonder a day out in the spirit of chasing down a rogue hacker to protect Tony friggin' Stark from espionage had done him good. And it was certainly no bloody wonder he'd waded into the Times Square mess with only a couple of knives and a stomach injury.

Tony quietly resolved to try and involve Loki more in the Avengers' doings, if possible. If it helped him get better.

He didn't feel security was too much of an issue - Loki was cleared by SHIELD and by MI6, and besides, Natasha trusted him, and Natasha's trust was something hard-earned.

"Here," Loki said, breaking him out of his thoughts. "Artificial intelligence."

The ad - the fifth one from the top - Loki was pointing out was one Tony had been translating without much thought on the matter - he'd started doing it a little automatically. Good thing Loki had been paying attention.

It was exactly as Loki had described; it was also short and simplistic, owing to the complications of the coding system to monolingual English speakers.

The user had identified themselves as Ezekiels_Vision, which didn't actually tell Tony much, unless they actually were a prophet of God. It had been posted only four days ago - whoever had accepted it, they'd moved quickly.

This website didn't really do profiles, just the phone number or email address you could be contacted at placed at the bottom of the post.

Tony wondered vaguely what would happen if the FBI caught onto this. Or SHIELD. Hell, it was probably Tony's obligation to tell them.

Eh, who gave a fuck?

"So what do we do with this?" Tony asked, more speaking to himself than Loki. "Let me guess, no site administrator to tell us who posted what. That would kind of defeat the point of the whole thing."

"Oh, there's someone in charge. Allow me," Loki murmured. "I've had to track someone this way before."

"Be my guest," Tony said, sliding his chair out of the way so Loki could take over.

"The website tracks IP addresses for posterity - violations of policy and the such. For example, assassinations are accepted, but they draw the line at your dear president," Loki muttered absentmindedly. "You post something that crosses their line, your name coincidentally turns up in a post. Never fear, their lines are bloody hard to cross."

"So how do we get to it?" Tony asked.

"Give me a few minutes to draw up the logs. Then more manual trawling to find this particular user," Loki said. "I recall once that something involving paedophilia came up. The perpetrator of said act was dead in two days. Even in these circles, there is a level of indecency the mercenary force of North America will not tolerate."

"Good to know," Tony said, and hey, it actually was.

Leaning forward to look at the screen, Tony saw Loki's fingers moving like a blur over the keys.

"I just need to convince them I'm an administrator," Loki said to himself. "When I was tracking the someone I mentioned before, I met the people who own this website. They live in Quebec. Apparently this started as only a Canadian site but there was not enough happening there, so they spread south. As it turns out, the Canadians are too nice to each other."

Tony actually laughed at that, despite the seriousness of the situation. "You've been everywhere, haven't you?" He asked.

"Every country in Europe, every continent," Loki agreed. "I visited Antarctica on a day trip."

"Everywhere in the world. Including in Natasha's pants," Tony guessed, throwing subtlety out the window. There was something between those two, he was sure of it.

Loki cackled at that; actually cackled. His whole face lit up and he sounded positively _wicked._ "I don't kiss and tell."

"On the contrary, Agent Feison, you seem like the type to kiss and then hint subtly at it forever," Tony smirked.

"Me? Never," Loki replied coyly. "In any case, displeasing Miss Romanova is not something I would recommend. I don't want to wake up in some kind of medieval torture device for speaking of Nat in any way except the most professional."

Tony winced. "Yeah. I'm not sure how Clint escapes."

"Clint escapes because Nat _likes_ him," Loki shrugged. "She's no demon, my Nat, but she enjoys the image she cultivates."

"Definitely works for her," Tony agreed. "But we all know she secretly cuddles with Clint at night."

"Mm," Loki hummed with a smile.

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" Tony asked.

"That would be immature of me," Loki said sternly. "Of course I am."

Tony couldn't help it; Loki looked so serious that he burst out laughing, and Loki started chuckling along with him.

As Loki hit 'enter' the screen changed from three error messages stacked on top of each other to a simple white page with lists and lists of IP addresses and their corresponding usernames in a coding-style font, in order of date posted.

"Here we are," Loki murmured a tad unnecessarily. "The vast majority of these will be public or open internet addresses, such as internet cafes and the like, and this will not be the full list - many will know how to shield themselves from being recorded. Let us hope that our assailant is not well-versed enough to protect themselves in either way."

Loki pressed Ctrl + F and typed "Ezekiels_Vision" into the little box. It immediately led them to one result, a post of four days ago.

"And there we have it," Loki said with a satisfied smile. "Tony, I believe you can take it from here."

Loki wheeled out of the way with a flourish, allowing Tony to select the IP address.

It took half a minute to find out the internet provider - based in the Pacific Northwest - and a few more minutes for Tony to hack the provider's records. Sure, he was a good hacker, but it really shouldn't have been this easy.

No, it definitely shouldn't have been that easy.

Using the IP address at the time of the posting was a company Tony had never heard of, so he quickly searched up their website.

 _Yo, VIP, let's kick it!_  
Tony's screen flashed up scarlet. Both Loki and Tony jerked away in surprise.

"Sir!" JARVIS said in alarm. "I am being tampered with!"

Tony was stunned for a minute, in complete disbelief. Not again. Not now. "It - it was a trap," he said dumbly as _Ice, Ice Baby_ continued to play.

As he spoke, the program that Tony had written to track changes to JARVIS's code flashed up on screen.

Nothing had happened. Whatever had happened, it had accessed Jay's code and simply added a space to the end of a line, and that space had been deleted by auto-correct. Pointless.

A quick search proved that the company the IP address was registered to was false.

"Not a trap," Loki realised. "A _warning,_ Tony. This person is warning you they think they're far smarter than you. They placed a virus to attack JARVIS."

Tony switched off the alarms, but it had already attracted the Avengers, who'd been let into Tony's lab and were looking wary. It had been such a peaceful evening.

"Tony!" Steve said. "What happened?"

"Loki and I were tracing our mystery hacker's employer," Tony explained. "But they got us good."

"How?" Bruce asked.

"A warning," Loki said gravely. "They set a virus to hack JARVIS's code and set off the alarm. From off-site, without their active participation. This person is good."

Bruce sat down with Loki and Tony, looking over the readings of the hack on the screen. "Let me guess. They left no evidence," he said wryly.

"As far as I can tell, not a thing that could trace anyone to anything," Loki said, his tone hard as he began to mentally rise to the challenge. "I don't like to be beaten."

"We're gonna catch this asshole," Tony growled, getting to his feet, resting a unifying hand on Loki's skinny, bony shoulder.

Natasha smiled at that tiny, affirming gesture, and Clint shot her a look that plainly said something along the line of _you sneaky match-making spy, you._


	11. Getting away with murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony starts to feel his world slipping from between his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of inspiration I have is a lot. This chapter came to me quickly, and oh hell, you guys're gonna like the next one. That's in a non-sadistic way. I think you'll sincerely enjoy it.

In the following two days, the only progress towards catching their mystery hacker had been changing JARVIS's tamper alarm to play _You Sexy Thing_ instead of _Ice, Ice Baby._

Whoever they were pitted against, they were good at what they did. Their only lead had been a trap both Loki and Tony had dived into with enthusiasm.

And besides, HYDRA had cropped up again. This time, they'd thought it out, and they'd sent two plain-clothes, completely socially invisible agents into City Hall and gotten what they'd wanted. They'd only been noticed as they left the front doors, and they'd made a successful run for it.

To Tony, it felt like _everyone_ was just getting away with murder under his nose and there wasn't anything he could do about it.  
Their next crisis was Doctor fucking Doom attacking a Hammer Industries facility in San Diego.

"Rogers, assemble the Avengers, get in the Quinjet," Fury barked. "We've got an emergency on the other coast."

"Yessir," Steve said, though JARVIS was already gathering the others.

"And Rogers?"

"Yes?"

"Bring Agent Feison," Fury said. "I want him on-site."

"With all due respect, sir, why?" Steve asked.

"We tried to recruit him for a reason, Rogers," Fury said. "His MI6 reports cite him as a tactical and behavioural expert, and I think we could do with that kind of skill set if it's available."

The Avengers were in the jet in an impressively quick time, waiting for Steve to turn up, which was unusual as he was usually first onboard.

The good captain was explaining the situation to Loki, who gathered up his remaining knives with great enthusiasm, tugged on a proper pair of shoes, and followed him onto the jet.

"No," Natasha stated bluntly as she saw Loki enter the jet.

"Fury requested him specifically," Steve explained.

"Not a chance, Steve. He's injured," Natasha insisted.

"I'm fine, and Fury does not expect me to see combat. I am helping you from behind the scenes," Loki said.

Evidently Natasha deemed this a private conversation, because her reply was in Russian. So was Loki's. In fact, as the plane took off around them, they had quite the debate in a stream of fluent Russian that was quite unintelligible to everyone else except Clint, who understood a little bit.

This was until Loki flopped down into a seat by himself with a decidedly recalcitrant look on his pale face and said "We've taken off now, so I hardly see why it matters."

"I swear to god, Loki, if you get within fifty metres of this fight then I will make you a very unhappy man," Natasha glowered, speaking clearly in English so everyone heard.

"I swear to god, Natalia," Loki said, slipping neatly into a mimicry of Natasha's accent. "I do what I want."

For some reason, Natasha started chuckling at that; whether at the statement or the accent, none of them knew.

"I made you laugh. It's settled. I'm going," Loki snorted. "You know, my mythological namesake once made an ice queen laugh by tying a part of his anatomy to a goat and shrieking in pain."

Everyone started laughing at the implications of that statement, breaking the tension from Loki and Natasha's argument.

"Who're you named after?" Clint asked confusedly.

"Loki, god of flame and mischief," Loki replied. "He's not quite as famous as the other deities in that pantheon."

"Never heard of the guy," Clint said.

"Most people haven't," Loki shrugged. "So what are we heading into, here?"

"Right. Team briefing," Steve said. "Doctor Doom is fighting his way onto a Hammer Industries complex in San Diego. Ms Hammer requested assistance fighting him and his Doombots off."

"I wonder what she did to piss Doom off?" Tony murmured to himself.

"Tony is at this point fairly certain that Ms Hammer is responsible for the attacks upon JARVIS," Loki informed the others. "I fear I agree."

"If one of your stray arrows happens to end up in her ass, Clint, I wouldn't exactly be upset," Tony growled.

"Why would she do that?" Clint asked.

"As the daughter of my ex-rival, I'm going to say industrial espionage," Tony said tetchily.

"Well, if we see any Stark tech on her base, then we'll give you a shout," Steve said.

-O.O-

The Avengers were deployed from the Quinjet, leaving Loki on board watching from the Hammer Industries security cameras and studying carefully for any advantage he could point out.

"These are robots," Loki said, which everyone knew. "They have a certain degree of artificial intelligence that affords them the ability to combat you and react accordingly. However, they still cannot match the raw reactive ability of the human mind. Quick attacks, intelligent maneuvers, and do not engage them in full contact battle, as that is what they are clearly designed for."

"Thanks, Loki," Steve said, trying to spend less time up close and personal with the bots.

"Clint, on your six," Loki said, watching Clint whirl around and sink an exploding arrow into a bot on his advice.

Tony was fighting bots, yes, but he had another agenda. The bots had attacked while Justine was in residence, and so she and many employees were hiding underground in a vault. Iron Man had been ordered to secure them, and Tony Stark wanted to find Justine.

Once he smashed through the bots' front line and made it into the heart of the facility, Tony was met pretty much unchallenged except by security doors that allowed him through anyway.

According to his map, he had to go through a production warehouse then down two back flights of stairs to avoid a heavily defended section and make it to where the people - barring security guards, who were fighting the bots - were hiding.

The security door didn't want to let him through into the production warehouse, but Tony convinced it with a missile to the lock.

"Holy shit!" Tony said, looking around the room. There was probably a reason he hadn't been allowed here. "Loki! Switch to my helmet cam - you getting this?"

Most of the room was nothing to report home about - assorted paraphenalia that just seemed to be random junk. But down the other end, a metal skeleton was standing, about twice Tony's size.

Loki did switch his view over to Tony's helmet cam. And consequently Tony heard a sharp intake of air in his ear. "That explains what she wanted from you," he managed to say after a moment.

There could be no doubt in either of their minds that this was based in some way on the beginnings of Tony's Iron Man suit. The shape, design and the circumstances screamed it.

"That bitch!" Tony said. "This a low blow. If she's going to copy my suit, she won't get far. Everyone knows who wears a gold-titanium suit, and it isn't Justine fucking Hammer."

"Examine it closer," Loki urged. "This may not actually incorporate any elements of your suit. It could be unrelated."

Tony moved closer, looking it over.

It was the barest skeleton of a humanoid structure, held together by spittle and prayers, but... it did have some similarities to the Iron Man. The structure of the weight-bearing sections of the hips was chiselled into Tony's brain forever after Afghanistan, and he was staring at a copy of it. There were differences, too - the size of the thing, twice the size of the Iron Man, meant the shoulders and legs were structured differently to bear the weight of such a colossal construction, but enough similarities were there.

"What do you think?" A feminine voice said from behind him.

Tony whirled around to see Justine Hammer standing there, looking wholly unaffected by the carnage outside.

Yes, that was definitely a baby bump.

"I think that you're gonna need a really big guy to run that suit," Tony said.

"Tell her she's a bitch, from me," Loki said into Tony's ear.

"And my driver says to tell you you're a bitch," Tony added.

That statement made Justine laugh. "Oh no, an underpaid employee of Tony Stark happens to dislike me. I don't think I'll _ever_ recover."

"What the hell is this, Hammer? I'm pretty sure if you turn up in a copy of the Iron Man that people will know exactly where you stole it from," Tony said.

"I don't see the Iron Man suit," Justine shrugged. "I see the future of Hammer Industries."

"You took it from me!" Tony said.

"And where's your proof?" Justine said with a nasty smile. "Nothing here is a Stark Enterprises patent. Everything looks fine and above board. I'm just trying my hand in your field."

"Shit," Loki breathed in Tony's ear. "With this hacker we're tangling with, proof may be a little hard to obtain."

Tony switched to internal comms and just spoke to Loki. "She's made minor alterations to the structure, especially regarding size and upper body dimensions. It's not exactly Iron Man, but I'll bet you your perfect white ass it's based on it."

"Perfect white ass?" Loki said, confused yet bemused.

"Yeah, sorry," Tony said, switching to external comms again to say "I'm going to get some proof, you just watch me."

"I wish you luck, Mr Stark," Justine said, mock-humble. "Now, aren't you supposed to be rescuing the poor souls trapped in here? Women and children first."

This last sentence was said with a gesture at her pregnant belly.

"Where are the others?" Tony said.

"Where they should be. In the vault downstairs," Justine said.

"You're getting rescued last," Tony spat spitefully as he moved swiftly across to the stairs at the other end of the room. Switching back to internal comms, this time transmitting to the Avengers, he said "I've got the people secure, and I've found Hammer in one piece. How's it going topside?"

"Nearly cleared the bots," Steve replied. "I don't know what they wanted, but they didn't get it. It's destruction everywhere up here, but without Loki it would've been worse; he spotted where they were coming from. Doom had some kind of portal set up, so we shut it down."

"Gotcha. Send Clint and Nat down here to help me get these people out, if you can."

"Roger that, Iron Man."

"Hehe. Steve Rogers said 'roger that'," Tony snickered.

-O.O-

The decision had been made; they weren't heading back to New York. None of them could be bothered. They'd head over there tomorrow, and tonight, they were taking a break in Tony's mansion in Malibu.

Meanwhile, on the plane, Tony was fretting with Loki (and occasionally dragging in the others) about Justine and her creation.

"The thing that really gets me is that JARVIS said that none of my files were accessed in either tamper. And that can't be right. Some of those elements were definitely from blueprints only I have," Tony said.

Loki frowned, clearly thinking it over. "There are only two true explanations for that: either Hammer did not take your design and created this basic structure herself, but does plan to take ideas from you, or JARVIS is more corrupted than we first imagined."

"I'm guessing the second one," Tony groaned. "This _asshole_ of a hacker must be better at this than we thought."

"If we accept the latter possibility," Loki mused. "Then either JARVIS did not record the entering of the files during the two tamperings we are aware of, or there were more intrusions than we know of and they disabled the tampering alarm."

"Shit. Shit. _Shit._ This person is a fucking _genius._ Where did Hammer even find them?" Tony said miserably.

Loki scowled. "I don't like the arrogance of this individual. Their warning was sheer hubris and little else."

"That could work for you," Natasha interjected. "People get cocky, they make mistakes."

"True," Loki said thoughtfully. "Tony, I believe you should increase your security, even if that means completely removing all files of yours from the network. Protecting your assets is ultimately your first priority."

-O.O-

Fury debriefed them all via videoconference, including Loki, who everyone thanked for saving their asses at least once.

Loki may not have been able to fight, what with his injuries, but he could still be involved, and Tony couldn't help but notice the spring in Loki's step for the evening.


	12. Only thing to fear is fear itself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's mask drops for just a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! I like this chapter.

The Avengers had been to Tony's Malibu house before, but obviously, Loki hadn't, and he regarded the enormous mansion as quite the novelty.

Once he'd finished exploring, however, they got Chinese food and sat around recounting epic moments of the battle. Tony hadn't actually _done_ much, so he sat tight and listened, much like Loki who ate his food in silence as he observed them.

"And then Steve's shield came out of nowhere and bent the bot's midriff and it must've broken something important, because the whole thing just shut down-" Clint said excitedly. "Seriously, Cap, that was the coolest thing ever. Did you see it, Loki?"

"Yes, Clint, I did see," Loki said patiently with a little smile. "Natasha, those wrist cuffs of yours are both interesting and effective."

Loki was referring, of course, to the cuffs Natasha wore that could be used to electrocute an opponent.

"I designed them," Tony said proudly.

"The principle is sound, but I have to ask; how did you design them so Natasha was not affected?" Loki asked with great interest.

"With much genius," Tony said brightly. "C'mere. I'll show you."

And with that, they both finished their food and moved out of people's way so Tony could get some planning paper and sketch the whole thing out for Loki.

"Have you eaten enough?" Tony said after explaining it.

Loki looked up from the drawing. "Yes. Don't you worry, Tony, I'm nowhere near as emaciated as I was upon my arrival."

Tony winced at Loki's choice of words. "Well, good. It's amazing what three square meals a day can do for you. Anything else you were wondering about?"

"Yes. How do your..." Loki gestured vaguely at the palms of his hands. "Propulsion devices work?"

"Repulsors. Actually, they're dead simple," Tony said cheerily, grabbing a new piece of paper and beginning to draw.

Loki, as it turned out, had lots of questions about things he'd seen in Tony's lab while Tony had been sorting through JARVIS's code. He was both a good listener and an intelligent one, so it was genuine pleasure for Tony to teach Loki about some of the smaller things. Despite how much he trusted Loki, even only having known him for just over a week, he wasn't about to go so far as letting him in on the big things like the arc reactor.

After Loki had gone to bed - he slept a lot, or at least he spent a lot of time trying to sleep - Tony settled down and had a beer with Steve and Bruce. They'd been feeling a bit unloved recently, or at least, Tony felt like they'd been feeling a bit unloved.  
They could both offer some interesting thoughts about Mystery Hacker and about Justine Hammer, and once Clint joined in, some disturbing observations about Doctor Doom.

And _no_ , Clint, building a robot army was _not_ overcompensating for something.

-O.O-

Despite the questionable weather in New York, it was always sunny in California. Well, no, not really, but it was definitely a beautiful day the next day.

Clint announced it a rest day from their usual daily exercise and spent the time directly after breakfast swimming in Tony's pool. Steve was convinced to join him, followed by Bruce, and then eventually Natasha gave up and dragged Tony and Loki out of the lab to the pool with her for team bonding.

Knowing full well that Loki wouldn't want to swim, Tony decided to stay out too, continuing their somewhat intense discussion of potential improvements to Loki's knives. Knives were the lowest of low tech, but the same had been said of Clint's bow, and Tony was determined to make Loki's favourite toys as flash as possible. Certainly the ability to at least retrieve the things after throwing them would be useful.

Tony's plan was currently to get Loki and Bruce talking (Loki seemed to be cautious of Bruce, likely because all he knew about him was he shared his brain and body with the Other Guy) so he could officially induct Loki as another science bro. Loki certainly knew what he was doing, and unlike many people Tony had worked with, actually knew when to stop and listen to alternate ideas.

It was actually the longest Tony had seen Loki in direct sunlight, and he was insanely pale. It was almost otherworldly.

But, much like the occasion of Loki and Tony sparring, Clint just felt this bizarre need to soil the moment irretrievably.

"Hey, lovebirds!" Clint called.

Loki's head immediately snapped around to glare at him. "Barton, I am busy. Please cease splashing so loudly and leave me be."

Cue the moment in which Tony realised that listening to everyone splash and frolic in the water had to be making him uncomfortable.

"Hey, calm down, princess," Clint smiled. "I was just going to ask you guys why you weren't swimming."

"I do not want to," Loki said stiffly.

"And I'm talking to Pixie," Tony finished.

"Lighten up," Clint said cheerfully. "I bet you'll love it when you're in."

While Clint couldn't _really_ be blamed for harmlessly splashing a wave of water at both Tony and Loki, Tony was freaking out. He'd been having such a good discussion with Loki, and now this.

Loki flinched violently backwards and avoided the spray of water. Then he climbed to his feet, his face blanker and less emotive than a slab of marble, and politely said "I believe the sun is getting to me. I think I should go inside," before slinking inside, his posture cold and rigid.

Tony heard a yelp of pain and the slap of skin on skin, which was presumably Natasha smacking Clint for being a dumbass.

"Gotta go. Don't wait up," Tony said, scrambling to his feet and following Loki inside.

 _"Clint,"_ Natasha said irritably. "He said he didn't want to swim."

"Getting water on your new pants isn't a reason to sulk, though," Clint countered.

Natasha grabbed him by the hair and dragged him closer. "I have _very_ good reason to believe your 'princess' has been _tortured_ with water, Clint, so if you annoy my Kisa again, you'll be sleeping on the couch for the next _year_."

Clint gulped, realising that he'd just done something horrible. "Shit. I'm sorry. I'll apologise later."

"Good," Natasha said. "Now, I know Steve and Bruce wouldn't do that, so I don't have to reprimand them."

This was said without looking at either male, who looked at each other worriedly.

-O.O-

Tony tore through the house at an extremely brisk walk. Where would Loki go?

His bed. Bed seemed to be his favourite place, and Tony could relate; no matter where you were, beds were usually warm and comfortable and safe and you could pretty much always find someone to share them with you, which, from stories, was a pasttime of Loki's.

After knocking lightly on Loki's door and receiving no reply, Tony slowly pushed the door open to see Loki sitting on the bed, head in hands.  
"Loki?" Tony said gently.

He didn't receive a reply, so he went and sat next to Loki on the bed.

From what he could hear, Loki's breaths were catching in his throat as he tried to stay calm.

 _Well, Pixie Stick, you're sitting next to a fucking_ pro _at struggling through panic attacks,_ Tony thought. _And have I got tips for you._

Very tentatively, in case Loki shoved him away, Tony pried Loki's hands off his face.

"You're doing it wrong, kid," Tony said quietly. "Don't fight the heavy breathing. Deep breaths. Getting it caught in your throat makes you feel worse. C'mon, copy me."

With that, he tangled his fingers with Loki's and breathed out very audibly. "In. Out. Big breaths. You're fine, you can stay in here as long as you like. You don't have to go back out there."

Tony let go of one of Loki's hands to reach around and gently rub his back, helping the stunted breaths get out. Unconsciously, Loki leaned into the touch, so Tony pulled the bony merc against his chest and wrapped his arms around him. "You're okay. You're here with me, back in America. No Middle-Eastern shithole. No water. It's dry as the Sahara in here."

Well, not really, but close enough.

They sat like that for a few minutes, Tony constantly reassuring Loki and giving him quiet little tips for breathing exercises. It really was the key to this kind of thing.

"I'm trying to beat the fear," Loki croaked out after what seemed like forever of Tony waiting for a reaction.

"You're doing just fine," Tony said. "It's a defensive mechanism, this kind of thing. Your brain wants to stop it from happening again. It's just shitty luck you got something as common as water as a trigger."

"Not luck," Loki mumbled, almost inaudibly. "They did it on purpose."

Tony didn't say anything to that, just rubbed his hand on Loki's far side - intentionally avoiding the scar - to let Loki know he could talk and Tony would listen.

"It's - I was never given a drink of water. Not once," Loki said roughly. "Not a bucket of spring water, not a stagnant puddle. Just - pain. Anything with water was bad. Drowned again and again, and I was so fucking thirsty-"

His voice cracked on the last word, almost becoming a sob.

Tony's brain was being wrenched right back to Afghanistan, when they convinced him to do their dirty work -

_Head shoved underwater for what just had to be the millionth time, because this pain had been going on forever, it was all he could remember or think of - water had to fill his lungs this time, he was finally going to die, and that was fantastic, his chest hurt so much-_

And the first time he'd taken a shower when he'd been rescued, he'd had harsh flashbacks, thinking he was back in that stinking cave, and Rhodey had actually dragged him out of the stall, crying out and trying to fight his best friend off. He'd gotten over it pretty quick - well, he'd had to. But it was still there. He hated having his head fully underwater for too long.

"It's okay, babe, I get it," Tony murmured, pulling Loki impossibly closer, trying to reassure him with body language because Tony was no wordsmith.

Loki's breathing was beginning to become shallower all over again, and Tony just kept trying to guide him through the anxiety and terror.

"Hey, c'mere. Let's wrap you in bed. Bed's the best thing, right?" Tony urged gently.

Loki didn't even stir.

Tony remembered something that Clint had once told him when messing with Steve; often, in panic situations, trained soldiers/agents had a tendency to reply to firm commands.

"Agent Feison," Tony said assertively. "Lie down in bed."

It took a short while for Loki to respond, and when he did, it was like he was moving through molasses, but he did it. Tony helped him between the sheets then lay down facing him, arms around his skinny torso, holding him close. Physical affection sometimes helped with this kind of panic and it seemed Loki was one of those people.

"I'm not gonna lie and tell you everything's going to be okay," Tony said. "But you'll get through it. I've been through the same thing, though not as bad, and I can stand it now."

"I - I know the fear is irrational," Loki said weakly. "I am a competent swimmer and have never been hurt by water before ... that ... but - well -"

"Your fear isn't irrational," Tony said. "It's completely rational after everything you've been through. Don't let _anyone_ tell you anything else."

All in all, Loki's panic was definitely starting to fade with the bed setting and Tony's contact, and the exhaustion that seemed to permanently weigh him down was setting in instead.

"You want to talk about it?" Tony said. "Do it, if you can. And if you don't, well, that's awesome too."

For the next ten minutes, Loki just watched Tony tiredly, eyes pondering him, not saying a word until his eyelids drooped and he fell into a shallow, uneasy sleep.


	13. Recovery's a bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M REALLY SORRY THAT THIS IS LATE  
> I went away for a band competition, and, well, I was planning to update this before I went but then I accidentally had a computer game marathon (shut up, these things can happen accidentally) so it didn't get written. If it makes it up to you, the next chapter should be early. And longer = D

Tony didn't sleep at all. He spent his time running thoughts about the hacker through his brain and watching Loki for when he woke up.

After about half an hour of Loki sleeping fitfully, Loki started to whine low in his throat, curling up on himself. Wriggling forward, Tony wrapped his arms back around Loki to try and encourage him to relax.

Without waking, Loki's arms came around Tony and tugged him closer, and he settled down again.

 _Adorable_ , Tony thought, and then internally hit himself. Now wasn't the time.

It was only ten or so minutes later, after Loki had had another nightmare, that the merc woke up.

That did confirm Tony's thoughts about why Loki always looked badly rested.

Loki's green eyes fixed on Tony, remembering where he was and what had happened. Then, without a word, he gently wiggled out of Tony's grasp and sat up again on the edge of the bed.

Seeing that Loki was feeling awkward about the whole situation, Tony sat up with him but kept his distance. "You okay?"

Loki nodded stiffly. "Thank you," he said weakly.

"It's fine. I meant what I said - this is something you'll learn to deal with. But panic attacks feel like you're dying when you have them," Tony said. "I've been there. I'm almost functional today."

Loki smiled half-heartedly, still not looking at Tony. "My whole life is completely fucked over."

"Nah, you'll get it back on track. Everything takes time, remember?" Tony said reassuringly.

"This will take more time than I think I have," Loki said.

"Before what?"

Loki slumped a little lower. "I'm not sure."

"Well, one day at a time. It's -" Tony checked his watch. "About noon. We're leaving in a couple of hours. What do you want to do today?"

"Sleep," Loki admitted. "I can't."

"Apart from sleep. When're your knives arriving?" Tony asked, trying to engage Loki in more than simple sentences.

Loki made a _who knows?_ gesture. "I've placed the request and am paying for them to arrive as rapidly as possible," he said. Then he sat there, just thinking to himself.

Tony reached out very gently to place a hand on Loki's shoulder, but Loki flinched at the contact, so Tony pulled away.

Not a good day. Not even slightly a good day. Loki was upset at being so vulnerable.

"Do you want to be left alone?" Tony asked cautiously.

It took Loki a while to respond, but when he did, he nodded and said "Thank you."

"Hey, it's fine. Panic attacks are shitty," Tony said warmly, standing up and waiting until Loki lifted his head and looked at him. "If you ever want to talk, Pixie Stick, my door's always open. And I mean that metaphorically because my doors are usually closed and most of my spaces are accessible by elevator. But you get the point."

Loki smiled weakly at him. "Buy me a drink first."

"Making me work for it, huh?" Tony grinned. "Well, at least you're not easy."

Unfortunately, Loki wasn't even in the mood for deflective flirting. Tony left the room, head buzzing with a million thoughts, most of them Loki-centric.

"How is he?" Natasha asked, popping out of nowhere - though Tony was distracted, so she'd probably just been standing there.

"Okay. Well, not at all okay. But he's at least not actively panicking right now," Tony said. "He slept for a bit."

"I wish he'd talk to me," Natasha said disappointedly. "You boys always think you're better off facing your problems alone."

-O.O-

Loki didn't even appear again until Tony got JARVIS to tell him it was time to go. Then he appeared, hair mussed, looking tired and miserable.

Once they had gotten back on the Quinjet, Loki sat down by himself at the other end of the plane and starting doing something on a sketchpad he'd picked up god knows where.

"Loki?" Clint said tentatively.

Loki didn't move, but his green eyes flickered up to met Clint's. "Mm?"

"I'm sorry for earlier. I shouldn't've have done that after you told me not to," Clint said.

Loki made a vague noise of acknowledgement. "It is of no consequence. I was at fault."

"What? No, you weren't. I need to learn to shut my beak and keep my hands to myself," Clint replied, surprised.

"If I can't stand the heat, I should stay out of the kitchen," Loki quoted quietly. "Thank you for your apology."

And with that, he resumed sketching.

-O.O-

It was raining when they got back to New York. Early winter had proved dismal and wet.

On arrival, Loki immediately went to slink away. Tony gently grasped his arm. "Hey, Pixie. If you're in the mood, you wanna come help me with JARVIS?'

Tony couldn't read what Loki was thinking about, but eventually he nodded.

As Tony worked on finding out how Hammer had gotten elements of the Iron Man suit, he noted how quiet and still Loki was. No roaming around the lab or offering observations. He just sat there, full of memories that he couldn't stop remembering. Meanwhile, what Tony had learned was fairly valuable. On the first tamper, his file on the basic skeleton of the Iron Man had been accessed and downloaded by Mystery Hacker. The second tamper had been automated and had done nothing but set off the alarm to piss Tony off.

Basically, as Hammer needed more elements to finish the suit, more would be taken from Tony.

Tony explained this to Loki, receiving nods and the occasional comment from the merc.

"So what I'm going to do is move everything of mine to a super-secure file. Entering it if you aren't me triggers a virus that crashes your system and also alerts me to where you are," Tony said eagerly. "Security was tight before, but this is better. I'm going to fuck her computers up."

Loki smiled genuinely at him. "That sounds like an excellent idea."

"It does. It double does. Whatever changes our hacker made to JARVIS, I doubt I'm gonna find them, but they can't make them anymore, so I'm just going to have to deal. But with the virus-protected files and with all changes to JARVIS being monitored, I think we've cut them off," Tony said.

Loki nodded. "I believe that should be sufficient," he said with an attempt at an impish smile. "If they beat that, I do think they deserve an award."

"An award, right after I kick their ass," Tony agreed with a snort of laughter. "This is gonna take me an hour or two, but afterwards, do you want to come watch a movie with us? It's no good to just sit around in your room being miserable. Come cuddle with me," the last part was said with a vague stab at humour.

Loki looked unsure, so Tony added "Come onnnnnnnnnn."

Because that was never annoying and always helped.

Finally, Loki acquiesced. "Why not."

Then Tony set to work with Loki leaning over his shoulder, watching what he was doing with interest. It felt good to be actively doing something, knowing he was fighting the asshole who was waging war on him.

-O.O-

A few hours later, Tony was finished up and feeling pretty good. Loki seemed calmer and brighter too, so it was a good evening.

Natasha evidently trusted Tony to look after Loki's wellbeing, because she didn't seem too concerned about Loki now that he'd been in Tony's company all day. She was sitting on the big couch by herself, and she let Tony sit at one end with Loki sitting awkwardly next to him so she could lie down and use Loki as a footrest.

"Hey, Kisa, what do you want to watch?" Natasha said warmly.

Loki looked completely taken aback to be asked. "I - I don't know. I don't mind."

"She's serious, Pixie," Tony said. "Pick a movie. Any movie."

"Favourite childhood movie?" Steve asked.

"I did not watch movies," Loki said with a strange note of awkwardness in his voice.

"There's no movie at all you thought that you wanted to watch?" Tony said.

Loki was definitely blushing, adding a little colour to his face. _"The Road To El Dorado."_

"Really?" Tony said brightly. "Clint, go set that up. Any particular reason?"

"The characters in the advertisement reminded me of my stepbrother and I," Loki admitted, his face going deadly blank at that little piece of information. Everyone knew not to push the subject; after all, none of them, not even Natasha, had known Loki had a brother.

 _It's something,_ Tony reflected.


	14. Can you relate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets under Loki's shell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm ill right now, and so bored that I'm almost climbing up walls, so this chapter just splurted out of my brain. Nonsensical? Perhaps. This is how I write when I'm not well. But too bad; it was fun to write. Also, a little short. Too bad. Dramatic effect and shit.
> 
> Point of order - this is comic!verse Mandarin and Ten Rings. For those who don't know, it means he's the legit evil badass he was pretending to be in IM3.

The next day, Tony's mounting paranoia drove him to get up early, run a couple of kilometres in the gym, and then dive into researching Justine Hammer and her movements.

What could he say? He had lots of things to worry about.

Steve came down to say hello to Tony while he worked. Tony got him to talk while he worked as something to listen to in the background. JARVIS was a bro, but being an AI meant he didn't tell interesting stories.

Tony reflected idly that his voice wasn't as nice as Loki's.

It was raining outside, so Loki himself was probably curled up somewhere. By the evening, he'd resolved to find Loki and at least keep him company.

Then he remembered Loki wryly telling Tony to buy him a drink before going over his issues, and Tony knew what his project was for the evening. He got JARVIS to call Loki up, if he wanted to come.

"This is an intervention!" Tony declared loudly as Loki came in.

Loki raised an eyebrow, half teasingly, half resignedly. "Which vice this time? The drinking, the smoking, the morphine, the fucking? I swear, I've disposed of all of them," he said jokingly.

"Wait, you've sworn off having sex?" Tony said, disturbed by the very thought.

Loki gestured at his abdomen. "It's painful to make the-" he moved his hips silkily "-motion. Also, people tend to be both repulsed and curious when they see something like that."

Well, Tony knew that feeling. He did have a big glowy metal thing in his chest, after all.

"I'm not," Tony blurted honestly. "It's like a badge of awesomeness."

Loki smiled at that. "It feels more like a debilitating injury, but to each their own."

"Definitely. Here, I'm buying you a drink first," Tony said, sliding a vodka down the bar in Loki's general direction.

"I'm working under the assumption you're taking me up on my offer to drink me under the table until I spill my secrets," Loki said, half-amused.

That implication rankled Tony, and for the first time he was able to put _why_ into words. "No. _No._ This isn't some kind of paparazzi-curiosity-invasion. This is an intervention. I think you're awesome and it feels like you're just - you're just _giving up_ when you hide in your room like that. Maybe I'm not the best guy to talk to - I've known you for what? Two weeks? And I can barely deal with my own problems - but _please._ Don't curl up and half die somewhere whenever you're upset. I like to think I'm your friend, so this is a friendly nudge."

Loki looked taken aback. And confused, and wary, and worried, and a whole myriad of other things. Considering that Tony had seen first-hand how good at shoving away facial expression Loki could be, it was a surprise.

"You are my friend," was the first thing he managed to say, and he sounded like he wasn't expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

"Well, then, bud, you might not wanna talk to me, but at least have a seat," Tony said, smiling openly, trying to get Loki to relax.  
A little stiffly, Loki made his way over and sat at the bar next to Tony, snatching his vodka on the way past and taking a sip.

They sat there in silence for what felt like hours. The clock insisted it was about a quarter of an hour, but the clock (in Tony's mind) was a lying bitch. Loki seemed to be locked in a mental quandary that required another glass of vodka.

"It was a case of mistaken identity," Loki said eventually, his voice small.

"Hm?" Tony said. His brain had been switched off by the wait.

"Exactly what I said," Loki said. "I was carrying a SHIELD-issue pistol. Nat's pistol, to be exact. I stole it off her years ago in Russia."

Tony wanted to laugh at that, he really did. But it was a time for solemn listening.

"They decided the circumstances of my arrival were suspicious," Loki continued quietly. "Likely there would have been no issue, but their only reference for SHIELD agents was a slightly outdated copy of the SHIELD employment."

The penny dropped for Tony. "They tried to recruit you a year ago," he blurted.

Loki nodded. "The record only stated I was in recruitment, it did not say that I declined the opportunity."

"Oh. Oh shit," Tony said, wondering if Loki would mind a pat on the back or something. He tried, gently patting Loki on his bony shoulder, and Loki gave a weak, tired smile.

"So they assumed I was spying on them, and attempted to discover who for and why," Loki said. "Two weeks later, having gathered no information, they let me go."

"They just let you go?" Tony asked. "No...warnings, no nothing?"

"Oh, no," Loki said, with quite possibly the driest smile Tony had ever seen. "Where'd you think I got this scar?"

He rolled up his jersey and shirt a little, showing the injury on his abdomen. "This was cut at an extremely precise depth, to cut through only skin and muscle while leaving any internal organs intact. Not fatal, just horrifically painful and almost impossible to heal fully. That's enough of a warning for anyone."

Tony was horrified. And fighting off flashbacks. Mostly the latter. He took a few deep breaths and swallowed his drink in one go.

"That explains a lot," he said eventually.

"It does," Loki admitted. "Is your curiosity satisfied?"

"No. What? I just said that wasn't what this was about. I want to help," Tony said.

After a minute, Tony asked a question that (though he wouldn't quite admit it) he wished someone had asked him. It wasn't socially acceptable, at least not by the standards of Earth's Mightiest Heroes, but he just - _wanted to say it._ "You want revenge?"

Loki, again, had that strange, taken-aback look on his face. "Yes," he said, a note of suspicion in his voice. Of course there was; no one half-sane would offer revenge to a clearly fucked-up spy.

"Who did this, then?" Tony asked.

"Client confidentiality," Loki said, but he didn't sound sure of himself.

"I'm not asking who you were working for. Just whose ass you want to kick," Tony said.

Loki refilled his glass and drained it again; he was probably feeling good and fuzzy right about now, and maybe that was the point.

"You may have heard of them; in fact, I believe you have," Loki said, the crooked smile on his face and the showmanship in his voice letting Tony know he was building up to the biggest of reveals. "The Ten Rings, headed by our favourite theurgical delusionist, the Mandarin."

Tony's brain kind of fizzled to a halt for a moment. Then it kickstarted itself, working twice as fast.

_The Ten Rings._

"The day I stand on the cold corpse of the Mandarin will be a joyful one indeed," Loki added.

That cliche, the one where the bitter spy sits at a bar and swears revenge on his enemies? That was happening.

 _The Ten Rings,_ Tony's brain felt it necessary to point out again.

"You know what, Loki?" Tony's mouth said for him.

"Hm?" Loki said with a strange eagerness.

"I'd like that too."


	15. Integral parts of one's self

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm mid-exams, therefore I apologise for lateness = P

Loki and Tony didn't call it a night there. Tony had another drink, as did Loki, and they wandered down to the lab to begin their research into Loki's assailants.

They may not have been insensibly drunk, being experienced at that sort of thing, but they were both a little fuzzy in the head and their inquest into SHIELD's files on the Ten Rings was not concentrated research.

Actually, they lasted about half an hour. Loki's hands started to shake after Tony looked up the few names he could remember, and while Loki hid his hands under his chair and maintained a perfectly calm facial expression, Tony thought that sending him into yet another panic attack was probably not the preferred option.

"Hey," Tony said. "How 'bout we do this when you've had more sleep. And you're not drunk. Drunk makes your brain do things that aren't always good things."

_Like that sentence. What the hell?_

Loki shook his head. "I've been worse. Four vodkas is Nat's lunch."

"Yeah, but it's not _your_ lunch. I suggest we take a strategic nap and regroup in an hour."

Loki's face formed what could undoubtedly be called a pout.

A warm feeling blossomed in Tony's belly. For a grown man who could kill you with his bare hands, Loki was rather cute.

"Nope," Tony said, taking a risk and reaching forward to grasp Loki's wrists and drag him forwards. "Those faces don't work on me. Couch. Sleep. Go."

Loki made a joking resistance, but when they got over to the carpeted area that was Tony's chill-out area, he suddenly flicked Tony's feet out from under him and made for a mischievious escape. However, instead, Tony's grip went vice-like and pulled Loki over. The merc fell onto Tony's chest, still being held onto.

He gave a yip of pain as he hit his chin on the arc reactor. Tony froze.

"What's-" Loki said vaguely, pulling back.

"Nothing," Tony said instinctively, immediately feeling bad.

Loki shot him a look. "I told you some excruciatingly painful details of my self; I think you can trust me."

He did have a point. Tony sat up, then reached down to pull his shirt off, noting with another dose of that warm feeling that Loki's eyes roamed over his torso with appreciation.

Beyond that, though, Loki focused on the arc. "What is that?" he asked, not horrified, just curious.

"It's an arc reactor. Like the big one that powers the building," Tony answered shortly.

"Afghanistan?" Loki asked.

Tony nodded tiredly.

A look passed between them right then. If Tony was more philosophical, he would've translated it as _what a cruel world, and yet we must go on,_ but he wasn't, so to him it was just _shit happens._ The look went on for several seconds until Tony went to look away, uncomfortable.

Loki's gentle hand caught his chin and forced his eyes back to him. "You accuse me of hiding away, but you do it yourself."

"I know," Tony admitted. "I'm over it; no point in worrying about me when I have a bad day."

"A bad day for a PTSD sufferer can be the worst day of their lives," Loki said sagely. "Frankly, I'd rather you practiced what you preached and spoke to someone, not necessarily me."

"Yeah, well, shit happens and I deal with it," Tony said defensively.

"You don't deal with it. You ignore it," Loki said. "There is a difference."

"And that is a difference I deal with using alcohol. All this serious talk is giving me a headache. Lie down on the couch and nap," Tony said.

Loki conceeded, helping Tony to his feet so they could curl up at opposite ends of the couch.

"I like you when you're drunk," Tony said sleepily, already dozing off. "No, wait, I like you more when you're drunk. I like you anyway."

"I like you too," Loki admitted, and for some reason, that simple sentence meant a lot to both of them.

-O.O-

Tony awoke extremely suddenly about two hours later when Loki's soft-bootied foot smacked him in the kidney.

Gasping for air, Tony shot up, disentangling himself from Loki's long legs. Loki was twitching and making short whimpering noises.

Carefully so he didn't startle him, Tony went for the tried and true tactics of creeping off the couch down to Loki's end to put his hands on his shoulders and eventually into a loose hug. Loki calmed down fairly quickly.

Loki's tactile calmness told Tony something - he'd mostly been alone when he'd been caught. If he'd constantly been surrounded by hostile people, he would've reacted violently to someone touching him in his sleep.

Tony also knew that long times alone with only one's thoughts and the expectation of future pain did nothing for anyone's sanity. He should probably just consider himself lucky that Loki was even a little normal.

-O.O-

Loki slept a full night, if you considered the fact they'd gone to sleep around midnight as a full night of sleep. Which Tony did.

Blinking awake around 7 am, Loki looked a little surprised. Also, his hair was no longer tidily slicked back and was now fluffy. And Tony was sitting at the end of the couch, absentmindedly patting his bootied feet and reading something on a tablet.

"Morning, Pixie," Tony said. "You slept well."

It wasn't a question. Loki felt better than he had for some time. "I agree," Loki said, dazedly from sleep.

"I just remembered that I actually hired you to drive me places," Tony said. "I've got a presentation I'm speaking at tonight. It's about upcoming major projects; the Stark RT car is featured, so I'm talking about it. I need you to drive me, but I thought you might wanna tag along. In the name of science. Bruce is going."

Loki nodded at that, then narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "That was not a short nap."

"Pixie, the way I see it, if you're sleeping, things are good."

That _was_ the way Tony saw it. Loki was permanently exhausted; when he was sleeping, it was helping.

Tony was just about to suggest they kept looking into the Ten Rings when JARVIS told them that Natasha was requesting entrance to the lab.

"Let her in," Tony said, and JARVIS did.

Natasha was offering a box out towards them when she looked them over.

"Yeah, we look like shit, I know," Tony said.

"Tony allowed a short rest on the couch to turn into a full night of sleep," Loki said with a slight frown at Tony.

"Deal with it," Tony said.

"You slept together?" Natasha said with amusement.

"Agent, purge your filthy mind," Tony said. "Sleeping only. What's in the box?"

"I don't know. It was addressed to Loki," Natasha said, holding it out to him.

Loki's face lit up like every one of his birthdays and Christmases had all suddenly come at once.

"Your knives!" Tony said in realisation.

Loki didn't even bother answering, just kept trying to rip the packing tape off so he could get in. He gave up after a few seconds, pulling one of his old throwing knives from seemingly nowhere and slicing his way in.

"I swear, I didn't sleep with him," Tony said to Natasha while Loki was distracted.

"I don't care if you do," Nat said, looking at Loki with a warmth in her eyes. "I'm not his mother. In fact, it'd probably be good for him if you did."

For some reason, Natasha's approval to continue his journey into Loki's friendship (and perhaps something further) put Tony in a good mood.

Because Loki was one of those people, those deliciously rare people that Tony just fell in with. Like when he'd met Bruce. He'd known the man for all of ten minutes when it seemed like he'd known him forever. Loki was the same. It had been two weeks and Tony felt like he'd always been there, looking mildly damaged and asking about science.

It was fairly often that Tony met someone and he wanted into their pants. It wasn't often at all that he met someone and he wanted into their head.

Loki carefully unwrapped each knife, looking like he'd struck gold.

There were a dozen throwing knives, all identical to Loki's original ones, as well as two hand knives, both ceramic too.

"My apologies, Tony, but I would like to continue this line of inquiry later," Loki said, his excitement barely contained. "I have practice to attend to."

"I'd like to watch, if you don't mind," Natasha said, smiling.

She was on to something; Loki's enthusiasm was contagious.

"Hell, I'm not going to get anything done. You mind if I watch too?" Tony asked.

Loki looked so vibrant as he said "I'd be honoured, in both cases."

Then he gathered up all his knives in the cleaning cloth (embroidered with the symbol of the manufacturer) that had also been in the box and made for the elevator, closely followed by both Natasha and Tony.

-O.O-

Loki's good mood continued all morning, after he'd sank every knife he had into a target several times, done some of the fancier moves - like throwing two knives in a row after a spin and the suchlike - and even spent some time teaching Tony how to throw.

"Nat," Tony said, taking a break. "Can you come to the presentation tonight? Pep just sent me the schedule - Hammer's doing a presentation and if you could take a look at her, see what she's up to, it'd be a big help."

"Of course," Natasha said. "I'm hoping we get this issue resolved soon so we can trust JARVIS again. Clint said he's not comfortable knowing he's being watched all the time anymore."

Tony snorted with laughter at that. Of course, the idea of their assailant (Hammer) being able to watch them was unsettling, but from everything Tony knew, it wasn't possible.

Then he sat there and thought for a while, before saying "Those knives mean a lot to him, don't they?"

"Think about it," Natasha said. "Every day of his working life, he had them. Having them back must make him feel himself again."

As Tony thought about it, he reflected that she was probably right.


	16. Detroit Steel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony just keeps getting the rug pulled out from under him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna lie; I like this chapter.
> 
> Also, the influence of Earth-616 noticeably comes into play here, but never fear, it's still perfectly accessible if you have no comic knowledge.

Tony's assistant and his PR person both snatched him away for the afternoon, sadly, because Tony really did want to research the Ten Rings.

They prettied him up, made him at least have an idea of what he was saying (which Tony forgot promptly, because fuck it) and told him to be on time.

Natasha, Bruce and Loki were coming along to this presentation, and Clint and Steve had decided to tag along simply because they didn't want to sit around at the tower and it was good publicity.

This, of course, meant that they couldn't all fit in a normal car together, and Tony was considering hiring a limo until Steve sighed noisily and took the initiative of hiring Bruce and himself a taxi.

Everyone tidied themselves up, and Loki intentionally pissed Clint off by dramatically offering his arm to a well-dressed Natasha and declaring her his date, until they both started laughing and Natasha reassured Clint.

The Ten Rings, Mystery Hacker and Loki's issues temporarily forgotten, everyone seemed rather happy.

Tony wondered how many weapons Loki and Natasha were carrying between them.

Loki taking the wheel, the four of them piled into Tony's favourite car, which Loki said was a pleasure to drive.

-O.O-

Tony liked being in front of a crowd, in many ways. For one, it was familiar territory and he knew how to work a crowd, and for another, he just liked the feeling of getting up and dwarfing everyone in the room (insert height joke here).

He'd just given a bright, convincing show about the Stark RT-powered car, complete with two of his Ironettes being his friendly young assistants and rather more dramatic lighting than was perhaps necessary.

Tony could see Loki actually smiling and laughing at the ridiculousness showmanship that Tony possessed.

Natasha was working the crowd as she did, astutely getting a measure of various people while Clint followed her around as arm candy and added observations when he felt the need. Steve was being earnestly charming to a fan of his, and Bruce was with Loki, the pair of them leaning against the wall and talking. The event they were all waiting for was for Hammer to take the stage.

"Hey, Pixie, Brucie," Tony said cheerily as he made his way to them, handing Loki a glass of champagne, which Loki accepted with a nod of thanks. "That went well."

"How many eco-conscious patricians will be on the list for the first purchase?" Loki asked amusedly. "You were very convincing."

"You should be. It's a solid idea you've got there," Bruce added. "Let me guess; they're not cheap."

"Not yet, but they will be. This is the future; got to make it affordable, right?" Tony said.

"I'd rather see your future than Hammer's," Loki said idly, sipping his drink. "I have a feeling her motives may be a tad more selfish."

"Well, babe, you're not wrong," Tony said.

 _"Babe,"_ Loki said with a snort of amusement.

"Force of habit. I'm not sorry," Tony said.

"Oh, neither am I, _darling,"_ Loki said impishly.

"Getting right down to the pet names, are we, snookums?" Tony snickered.

Tony then noticed that Bruce was smiling and shaking his head. "What?"

"Nat had no idea what she was doing when she introduced you two, did she?" Bruce asked.

"On the contrary, she's been giving me rather odd looks that suggest that this was very intentional," Loki said.

"Yeah, I think she's trying to quit her job at SHIELD and start up her own buddy-matching business," Tony said. "Black Widow's Meet and Greets. I dunno; kind of implies someone's going to get eaten."

"It sounds better than 'Iron Man's Meet and Greets'. Anything that starts with 'Iron Man's meat' could potentially raise a few eyebrows," Loki countered. "And perhaps bring in a different clientele to the one you were expecting."

Tony started laughing at that and just when he thought he was going to be okay, Loki raised a highly suggestive eyebrow at him and he started laughing again.

Ignoring Tony, Bruce asked Loki how long it was until Hammer was coming on stage.

"She's due in-" Loki checked his watch. "Three minutes. After this presentation."

"Lokes, Bruce, if I try and tackle her off the stage, please stop me," Tony said as seriously as he could.

"You really are extending yourself into the field of pet names today, aren't you, Tony?" Loki said dryly. "Certainly. Unless I decide to join you, which isn't unlikely, in which case, Banner, you have your work cut out for you."

Bruce shrugged. "I can take you two."

"Nah. Big 'n' Green and I may have an arrangement. If I want someone smashed, then he'll do me a solid and give me a hand," Tony grinned.

"I'll try not to make you angry, then," Loki said innocently.

"You should meet the big guy sometime," Tony said, before booping Bruce on the arm. "Science Bros are Science Bros."

"Not right now, Tony," Bruce said amusedly.

"Yeah, might be a bad idea," Tony said. He was happy that Bruce was more comfortable talking about the Hulk these days, and liked to think it his nonavoidance of the subject was at least partly responsible. Maybe he could get there with Loki too, have him face his fears with a little more confidence.

Loki's hand gently brushed Tony's arm to get his attention, and Tony realised Justine Hammer was taking the stage.

Now was a time to function.

After the usual hurrah of a big company's representative taking the stage, Hammer gave a short, winning introductory speech in a convincing way, before leaning amiably on the podium.

"Now, ladies, gentlemen, and anyone else who's snuck in, we've already heard Tony Stark's speech. He's a big man, with a big name. As Tony Stark, he controls what's basically an industrial empire, and as Iron Man, he's won the hearts and imaginations of nearly every child in America," she began.

 _This is suspiciously complimentary,_ Tony thought.

"But where's the competition?" Hammer asked. "You're told 'armoured superhero' and you think of Tony Stark, who's a wild card at best - he's refused time and time again to work with our government and continues to defy the wishes of the people. Today, that's about to change."

A chill came over Tony's body.

The skeleton of a construction so similar to his own suit.

"No," Tony said faintly.

Hammer's curiously amber-coloured eyes met Tony's with such a look of satisfaction that bile rose in his throat.

The projector that had been used so many times that night turned on, showing an artist's impression of the suit Tony had seen, but fully constructed, twice the size of Iron Man and painted red, white and blue.

"Detroit Steel is the American government's answer to Iron Man," Hammer continued cheerily. "He's not here to fight against strange, comical supervillains and things that happen to make Tony Stark unhappy. He's here to fight against threats to America's freedom, like terrorism, inequality and corporate greed."

Ironic that it was a big business owner wanting to fight big business, but for once, Tony had no ears for irony.

_The government sanctioned this. She wouldn't be saying any of this if she hadn't hooked a defence contract to build this._

_Fury. SHIELD, I'm going to tear you apart. Just because I won't play ball, you do this?_

Hammer continued with a wordy but ultimately meaningless explanation while showing more dramatic images of Detroit Steel and the problems it would solve, but Tony wasn't really listening. He could get a copy of her speech and dissect it apart later.

For now, he sat down heavily on a chair, his brain racing through everything he'd just learned.

Hammer was trying to discredit him by presenting herself as the new, much more loveable Tony Stark, complete with dramatic last name and robotic supersuit.

It was undoubtedly Hammer who'd been hacking him, but he had no proof, because whoever she'd hired was too sharp.

And he couldn't just stand up right now and call "Bullshit!" because it would only make him look worse.

Hammer finished her spiel to applause, gave an awkward bow over her pregnant belly, and went to talk shop with a number of wealthy patriots that were interested in the superhero of tomorrow.

Clint's voice knocked Tony out of his stupor. "Yeah, I don't think we'll be inviting her onto the Avengers anytime soon."

"We may not have a choice," Steve said grimly. "If she's got the approval of the government, SHIELD might force us."

"They can't," Bruce said. "I'm not one of their agents."

"But I am," Steve pointed out. "So are Clint and Nat. That's three fifths of the Avengers."

"Quite an apt mathematical observation," Loki said, and Tony abruptly realised that Loki was sitting next to him. "In the name of maintaining integrity, I'd recommend less what ifs and more trying to solve the problem."

"The problem is, Agent Feison, I'm not entirely certain how to go about that," Steve answered.

Loki shrugged. "I don't know her, or Avengers tactical procedure. I was merely suggesting you become proactive now rather than later."

"Pixie's right," Tony said suddenly, making everyone seem to suddenly remember he was there. "We need a plan of action. Get Fury on the line, find out who authorised this. Nat, what did you think?"

"She was confident and she continually directed statements towards you. Her behaviour suggests she'd confident that she's already beaten you," Natasha said.

"Hammer is overcompensating friendliness. She likely does not have the full approval of the government, so she is attempting to win over the public to make the continuation of the construction of Detroit Steel assured by public demand," Loki added, and yeah, Tony had forgotten that Loki was good at this stuff too.

"I'd be willing to say that she'll be launching an aggresive play for popularity at the same time as promoting her technology and discrediting you," Natasha finished.

"So I need to look uber-shiny from now on, because she's aiming for a smear campaign," Tony simplified. "I'll call Pep later. Also, team meeting later. Right now, I have a roomful of people to work."

And with that, he stood up, slapped on his friendliest smile and starting talking to a group of people. He had a whole room of people that needed winning back over to Team Stark after that speech, after all.


	17. Permissions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets to work on fixing this mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for how wordy and boring this chapter is! It's to get from one place to another.
> 
> It should be noted that I'm not planning to update 'All this and forgiveness too' for a while, as the next chapter contains slight spoilers for this fic and I'll update it once we're past the bit it spoils.

"I'm going to fucking kill her," Tony growled, tugging off his tie and jacket and diving straight onto a computer chair so he could get to work. "No, I'll look like the bad guy. I'll photoshop Iron Man kicking Detroit Steel in unmentionable places."

Loki was trailing after Tony, sitting down into his usual chair. "If this was government-sanctioned, it is a cruel breach of trust. If this is SHIELD-sanctioned, you can likely take legal action."

The other Avengers were upstairs, talking about this new development, but Tony hadn't really felt like social hour, so he'd slippped away down to his lab to find out what he could, and Loki had followed him. Tony didn't mind. Loki was excellent for bouncing thoughts off.

"I'm not the type for the _legal action_ line," Tony said distractedly. "JARVIS, access SHIELD files, look for mentions of Justine Hammer or Detroit Steel."

"Yes, sir," JARVIS said, the scan zooming across Tony's screen.

"What is your course of action if SHIELD is responsible?" Loki asked.

"Call Nick Fury, argue with him, then give a charming speech in front of some kind of jury or panel and have everything back to normal. It'd almost be easier if it was SHIELD, just because I have pull there," Tony said.

Loki nodded wisely. Tony could almost _hear_ him thinking, see the thoughts racing behind those green eyes, despite the apparent calmness of his expression.

"Sir," JARVIS said. "To summarise, SHIELD does not endorse Detroit Steel, but is aware of Justine Hammer being offered the opportunity to extend the War Machine program in the military."

The War Machine program. AKA, the one Tony had accidentally started and wanted no part of, and the one led by the War Machine himself, Colonel James Rhodes.

"Son of a bitch. Call Rhodey," Tony said.

"Rhodey?" Loki asked.

"Friend of mine in the military. He _is_ the War Machine program. Should be able to tell us something," Tony answered shortly.

Loki nodded and sat back, eyes watching Tony in a cat-like way.

"James Rhodes," Rhodey answered after a few rings.

"Hey, Rhodey, it's me," Tony said.

"What is it, Tony?" Rhodey said in a way that suggested that he was just humouring him.

"What's the latest on War Machine?" Tony asked.

"I know what you're really asking about, and I can't tell you anything," Rhodey said patiently.

"Can't, or won't? Look, Detroit Steel's not exactly a small deal, and if I don't want tomatoes thrown at me, I need to be prepared. If you're not going to help, I'll just take what I want anyway. Save me the time," Tony said.

"Yeah, but if I don't give it to you I can deny any knowledge," Rhodey said.

"Where's the fun in that?" Tony asked. "C'mon. Why did no one warn me about Hammer before I found out on my own?"

"Tony," Rhodey said, in a way that sort of suggested he was sitting him down to tell him Santa wasn't real. "You've spent a long time resisting what the government wants. You stopped making weapons, you've been on TV telling the public the exact opposite of what they want you to say. Do you really think they're not petty enough to jump something like this on you suddenly?"

Loki, still considering, murmured "That makes sense."

"Who's that?" Rhodey asked.

"My new driver. He's a badass secret agent," Tony answered. "If there was someone like me - and I'm not saying _me,_ this is a hypothetical situation here - someone like me in a situation like this, what'd be his or her best bet for getting answers?"

Rhodey sighed gustily. Tony wasn't exactly being subtle.

"I'm assuming he or she has access to the government's registry of defence contracts and partnerships," Rhodey said dryly. "So he or she should try examining the terms and conditions of changing the War Machine program."

"He or she would probably be grateful," Tony answered. "Thanks, Rhodey."

"And Tony?" Rhodey said before Tony could hang up.

"Mm?"

"I don't think this is the kind of fight you can win. The army needs new ways to fight, and Hammer's mechs look like the solution," Rhodey said, hanging up and beating Tony to the punch.

Tony gave himself four seconds of running a hand through his hair and breathing heavily before he snapped into action. "Lokes, can you get me a coffee? I'm gonna be here a while."

"Certainly," Loki said, getting to his feet. He came back in a few minutes with a steaming cup of coffee and Bruce in tow.

"Tony," Bruce said. "Are you okay?"

"Fantastic," Tony said idly, paying more attention to the legalese report he was reading on the status of the War Machine program.

"I'm not asking if you need help with what you're doing, because I'm sure you're on top of it. I'm asking if you, as a human being, are dealing with what could be happening," Bruce said patiently.

"You can't prove I'm human," Tony countered. "Brucie, I'm great. I'll churn through all this in no time."

"Hm," Bruce said. "In any case, I'm going to bed. Tell me if you need help, and I'll leave Loki here to look after you."

"I can certainly do that," Loki said.

As Bruce left, he heard Loki mockingly say "No biting, no ice cream, and you get just one story before lights out."

Yeah, Loki wouldn't be a bad science bro. He certainly had the sense of humour, and Natasha trusted him, so they could too.

-O.O-

Tony had gone through the latest report on the War Machine program - the one that had led to offering Hammer the job - and could paraphrase it as such: 'Tony Stark's not going to build us any more supersuits, so we need to find someone who will or cancel the program.'

Which certainly did explain a lot.

He wished they'd just cancelled the program. Stepping up war technology to this new level was asking for trouble.

Looking to think out loud, he'd explained all this to Loki, who'd thoughtfully said that as War Machine was made of Stark Enterprises or just Tony Stark patents, Hammer probably hadn't been _allowed_ to copy it, which would explain why she was playing so dirty. Tony could infer from that very sensible assumption that she had the opportunity of a lifetime to beat Tony Stark and put Hammer Industries back in the good books, but she just wasn't capable of living up to it, so she was playing dirty pool.

The problem was, she was damned good at it, better than her father had ever been.

"If we could just catch our hacker then we wouldn't have a problem," Tony said. "But they're too clever, and I'm not an expert. If he would just-"

"Or she," Loki pointed out idly. "I've been out-thought and out-fought by enough women to never underestimate their gender on the whole."

Tony made a _well, yeah_ gesture. "If he or she would just make a mistake, we wouldn't have a problem, but they haven't even made a peep."

"Tracking them is proving impossible," Loki said thoughtfully. "If they attempt it again, you will find them. Perhaps you should focus your energies elsewhere."

"But _where?"_ Tony asked. "Hammer's done everything by the book, except for stealing this stuff, and we can't prove she did that. Everything else checks out as legitimate."

"There could be evidence on her systems," Loki suggested. "A hack for a hack, as it were. I doubt anyone would hold it against you, if you found evidence."

"I could give it a try. You know anything about hacking?" Tony asked.

Loki shook his head. "Not really my area of expertise."

"Fine. Then we divide forces, if you're here to help. You get JARVIS to download anything the government has on how Hammer secured the deal; read it and paraphrase it. I'll try getting into Hammer Industries," Tony said.

"With pleasure," Loki said, smiling wickedly as he wheeled over to another workstation, his love of being in the action showing through.

-O.O-

Tony woke up the next morning in the same position he'd woken up in the previous morning; lying on the couch, limbs entangled with Loki's.

They hadn't gotten as far as they'd liked to. Hammer had taken a leaf out of Tony's book (it was more likely she'd had the idea herself, but Tony was annoyed) and put her files on Detroit Steel off the network, so Tony couldn't access them. Loki's investigations had turned up exactly what Tony had hypothesised they'd turn up; Hammer had made an offer to the Department of Defence to continue the currently non-active War Machine program, and they'd snapped up the offer to arm the country and piss off Tony Stark in one go with pleasure.

And then they'd decided that they couldn't be bothered going to bed and had fallen asleep on the couch again at around 3 am, still half-dressed in their formalwear.

When Tony sat up, Loki was already conscious and sorting himself into order.

Now that Tony thought about it, he hadn't been woken by Loki having nightmares all night. Either he hadn't had any, or they'd been subtle.

Watching Loki tug his socks back up, Tony blurted out "What happened to your feet?"

Loki had evidently known he'd been awake, as he wasn't startled, but still just replied with a "Hm?"

"It's fine if you don't want to say, but how'd your feet get fucked up?" Tony asked.

"If I tell you, you are to tell me how you got your arc reactor," Loki bargained without looking back at him.

Ah, so he'd been curious about that. "Deal," Tony said.

He was usually iffy about telling people; he didn't like to remember it, didn't like people to think of him as weak or broken or even as the hero he wasn't. He didn't like people to draw conclusions about him based on what had happened in Afghanistan.  
As much blood as there was on the hands of his captors, the blood of his captors was stained onto Tony's.

But Loki didn't really count, because he'd _get_ it. He'd been through an extremely similar situation, but Loki's was in some ways worse, because while Tony had something to offer them, Loki had had nothing. He wasn't the droid they'd been looking for, as it was, and he'd paid for that.

As Tony thought that, Loki reached down and tugged off his sock, showing Tony the sole of his foot for the first time.

It wasn't too bad, all things considered, but any injury to the thick skin on the foot was extremely painful, and the long, thin and slightly gnarled lines across Loki's foot had to have been agonising.

"What happened?" Tony asked.

"Whipped," Loki answered shortly, covering the scars quickly. "Traditional punishment where I was."

"Why?" Tony asked, expecting Loki to not answer.

"One of my captors tried to...molest me under the assumption I was too exhausted to fight back," Loki said, not making eye contact with Tony at all. "I fought back."

"That's horrible," Tony answered. "Did he...?"

"I caused him enough pain that he did not try again," Loki said, his tone formal, rigid.

Tony reached out a hand to touch Loki's shoulder, testing whether he was hot or cold on that day, but before he could make contact, Loki finished tugging his shoes on and got up. "I will be back later," he said, making his way out. "Save a piece of Hammer for me."

Colder than liquid nitrogen, as it turned out. And he hadn't told him about the arc.

Tony just shrugged. Loki had literally just told him about a situation where he'd nearly been raped, and it wasn't exactly surprising that he didn't want Tony near him. But the sheer cold blankness was painful. Loki was shoving him away again.

They needed to get working on the Ten Rings dealie. Maybe closure would help Loki.

Meanwhile, Tony sat down and planned out his next move. Hammer was planning a smear campaign? Well, so was Tony, now. And trying to make himself look good.

"Jay, call Pep," Tony said.

"Yes, sir," JARVIS answered, dialling.

"Tony!" Pepper said. "We've got to get onto sorting this mess out. I've booked an interview for you in two days, and you're making a speech at MIT in a week..."

For once, Tony was actually listening. This was war.


	18. Revenge is saccharine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Loki are up to something, and Steve's not sure if they're okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all very much for your support = P

Tony didn't get proactive often - he tended to do whatever he wanted, whenever, unless a crisis called. And a crisis was definitely calling, so Tony was onto it.

The three issues were Loki and the Ten Rings, Justine's smear campaign, and Detroit Steel. Tony wanted all of them sorted out as soon as possible.

With a number of public appearances and some strategic movements of funds, Tony was on top of the smear campaign, and he'd called Fury for the situation with Detroit Steel. Fury had firmly told him that while they didn't like using Justine because they didn't trust her, she'd offered and the military had accepted. It was all above board, so while Tony couldn't convince anyone that it shouldn't go through, he could find evidence that Hammer had stolen from him. Thanks to Mystery Hacker, that hadn't happened, and wouldn't until he was hacked again.

Which left Loki and the Ten Rings. After doing all that and allowing Loki to cool off (or warm up) from his incident that morning, Tony asked him to come to the lab.

Loki's ability to act like the past hadn't happened was in full swing, and he seemed cordial and friendly. "Is everything sorted out?" He asked. "Has Hammer tried anything more?"

"Pep and I have worked out some good publicity stunts and I'm on top of everything else, which brings me to you, Pixie," Tony said. "It's you, me, and a grudge against the Mandarin."

"Ah," Loki said, a subtle smile lighting his features. Tony really did like his eyes, especially when the corners crooked into crow's feet smile lines. He stalked over to his usual seat and sat down. "How do we start?"

"First question is the most important," Tony said. "What do you want?"

"I'm..." Loki pondered that for a moment. "Not entirely certain."

"Loki, while I might hate the guy, this is your fight. I've already, ah, exacted revenge on the guy who was responsible for my shit," Tony said.

"I want his corpse skinned and tanned, the hide hanging on my wall," Loki said, and Tony actually did a double-take at the violence in that statement. "Unfortunately, the logistics of that aren't viable. Injury at my hand is all I ask."

"You want him to know it was you, right," Tony said.

Loki nodded tightly.

That made sense. Obie had had similar motives, though that wasn't a comparison Tony liked to draw. But Loki was bitter and having the opportunity to kick the subjects of his nightmares in the balls would probably go a long way towards closure.

"So, we make it simple. We find him, case his house, you kick his ass and we leave," Tony said. "He's a crimelord, we'd better not stick around."

The brightness on Loki's face hadn't faded. "I'd like that rather a lot. What can I do?"

"I'll be looking through SHIELD files, so not much. Security stuff. But you can do whatever you like," Tony said distractedly, already accessing SHIELD in a not-entirely-legal way.

"I had an idea for retrieving thrown knives," Loki said, gesturing at a sheaf of blank planning paper. "May I...?"

"Go nuts. I'll take a look when you're done," Tony said idly. "JARVIS, copy all data on the Mandarin into my private server."

They worked in silence for a while. The slight scritching of Loki's pencil was slightly soothing to Tony; it was nice to know he had company.

"Okay," Tony said after some time. "Mandarin's base of operations is on the Chinese side of the Mongolian-Chinese border. It's an international hotbed of Ten Rings and associated assholes action. The Chinese government turns a slight blind eye 'cause there's not much they can do. Flyover footage shows a big, fancy villa that Mandy presumably lives in."

Loki looked up thoughtfully. "If the Chinese government is looking the other way, it's not likely they would prosecute a foreign force attacking it."

"That's what I was thinking. I doubt they mind if a pair of freelancers clean up a problem they can't clean up themselves."

"They can claim ignorance," Loki said confidently. Then he looked away a little, seeming shy. "You don't have to do this if it will cause difficulty to you."

"Nah, I need a new crazy project that'll piss off crazy warlords," Tony snorted. "Don't sweat it. SHIELD needs to deal with him anyway, so it'd be the Avengers' problem soon."

"...Thank you," Loki said.

"I would get the team together, but I'm planning to play dirty and they don't really go for that," Tony said by way of explanation. "You, me, in and out."

Cue dirty joke.

"I'll ruminate on it for a day or two. Time and place and stuff," Tony said. "Show me your idea."

Loki wheeled back over to where he'd been working, showing Tony the design for micro-repulsors, similar to the ones that propelled the Iron Man suit. Tony had explained them to him in Malibu. These were smaller and required a lot less power, which was good, because they fit into the handle of one of Loki's knives.

"A simple tracking system, wherein the user wears a cuff that the knives are programmed to respond to," Loki explained. "I redesigned your original repulsor to be more directional, allowing the knife to turn itself without flaps or other unwieldy projections."

"Good idea," Tony said, taking the pencil. "That's pretty much what I was thinking, but if pointy objects are flying at the cuff, you need to make sure they don't stab you. That would be, as they call it in the business, a design flaw. That means your knives would require a more intelligent chip. They can't travel as the crow flies, either; they need to take the path of least resistance. I'm not certain if it's possible to combine keeping the current design of the knife with the new upgrades."

Loki nodded. "I understand - however, too many changes will make the knives difficult to throw. How small can the propulsion apparatus be made?"

"Pretty small. I'm more worried about weight imbalance," Tony replied. "Weight has a big effect on throwing power, right?"

"Definitely. Too much weight on one end makes the knives useless to throw," Loki said.

Tony liked a puzzle like this; it could be solved through engineering and mechanics, and it was fun to work out as he did. Even more fun when he had a helpful assistant.

After a while, Tony addressed an issue that he needed to mention. "Loki, I'm sorry for asking about your feet."

"Don't fret about it," Loki said distractedly as he wrote down power output calculations for the repulsors.

"Hey, look at me," Tony said. Loki finally turned his eyes to him. "You never seem to make eye contact."

"Your hands are never still," Loki countered.

"Touche," Tony said. "You know, for my driver, you sure spend a lot of time in my lab."

"Bodyguard," Loki corrected. "I'm protecting you from soldering irons and sharp things."

Tony chuckled. "Because with a lifetime of lab experience, I clearly can't handle them on my own."

"As your science tutor, I feel obliged to tell you that you're holding your pencil upside-down," Loki pointed out.

Tony noticed that and gave a short exhale of laughter as Loki smiled impishly.

"I enjoy working in a laboratory," Loki said cheerily.

"Same," Tony said. "That was kind of obvious."

"Perhaps I should consider starting a new career as an engineer," Loki joked.

"Don't expect me to encourage you; I think you'd be damn good at it and I don't want the competition," Tony said.

"Oh, I think I could outdo you in so many aspects," Loki said, the slight purr he used when he was flirting sneaking into his tone.

"I know that tone, you tease. Don't talk the talk if you won't walk the walk," Tony countered, poking Loki on the shoulder accusingly.

"I don't think you're capable of keeping up with my walking pace," Loki joked.

"Try me, skinny boy. I think you're all flirt and no action," Tony teased. "Maybe you're out of practice. Been a while since Anita."

"I'd prove you wrong," Loki started, and they were very close and Tony wanted to just lean forward a little because Loki's lips looked damn soft, but right before he did Loki shifted back with a regretful look on his face. "I - as much as I like to disregard the rules, you are my employer. Emotional attachments lead to poor decision-making."

Tony was about to protest, but Loki looked closed-away and certain, and pushing him would lead nowhere good. He almost felt like apologising, because something was clearly bugging Loki, but the word didn't quite make it out of his mouth. Instead he said "Liking people's a bitch, isn't it?"

"Undoubtedly," Loki deadpanned, returning to his sketch paper.

-O.O-

It was after dinner, in which Tony and Loki had sat off to the side discussing power outputs, that Steve talked to Tony. Loki had already gone to bed; apparently another late night on a couch didn't suit him.

"Tony?" Steve said cautiously.

Tony was sulking a little about Loki turning him down, mostly just because it wasn't what he had expected. To be honest, he hadn't gotten out much recently. Maybe he'd stop thinking about Loki if he had some personal time with a stranger.

"What?" Tony said distractedly.

"Can I talk to you?" Steve asked.

"You already are, Capcake, unless I'm very wrong," Tony replied dryly.

"About Loki," Steve said.

Well, that did fit with Tony's line of thought. "Go for it."

Steve sat down next to him. "I haven't seen a lot of you recently, Tony."

"I've been a little busy."

"Yeah, and you're fully within your rights; Hammer's playing hard ball. But I'm more worried about the amount of time and energy you're spending on our resident spy," Steve said.

"I like Loki. He's a smart guy," Tony said.

"In the last week or two, he's pretty much the only person you've talked to. And you never seem to leave your lab. You're an adult and I trust you, Tony, but sometimes we all get caught up with our own thoughts."

"You want me to come out of my lair more?" Tony paraphrased. "Why the hell not. I'll turn up for training tomorrow or something."

"Thank you," Steve smiled. "I might not be able to keep up with you in your lab, Tony, but you've still got a lot to learn before you can get out of training with me so easily."

There was an unspoken element to the conversation, wherein Steve accused Tony of being a little obsessed with Loki, but neither of them mentioned it.


	19. Breaking down again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finally snaps. Just a 'lil bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry if I am or will be lax in replying to comments! Internet access is patchy where I'm staying, so I just log on, post a chapter and log off!

"Hey, Tony, come look at this!" Clint said, a vague rustling sound coming from the living room.

Tony finished making his toast, put it on a plate - the cleaner complained if there were inordinate amounts of food on the floor - and filed in there.

Clint was holding a page of newspaper.

"That's right, Clint," Tony said dryly. "They print the news on paper now."

"Make old person jokes at Steve," Clint said, handing the piece of paper over. "You'll like this."

Tony took the piece of paper. The first thing he noticed was a picture of Loki, Bruce and himself at the presentation the other night, taken on high zoom by someone who'd clearly been discrete.

Reading the short article told him that while people had kind of disregarded Loki's presence at the Times Square mess, thinking him a SHIELD agent, turning up at the presentation with the Avengers was making people think that Loki was a new Avenger-in-training or just plain old Avenger. As he'd only been seen in a suit so far, the journalist who'd written the article ended it with a few suit-based suggestions for superhero names.

Tony started chuckling at the article. "Not sure what Loki'll think of that. I'll go show him."

Stealing the piece of paper, Tony headed for Loki's room. It was raining, so Loki was probably pretending he didn't exist somewhere.

After a quick knock, Tony entered, only to find that Loki wasn't there.

"Jay, where's our resident 007?" Tony asked.

"The gymnasium, sir," JARVIS told him.

-O.O-

"Hey, Lokes," Tony called as he entered the gym, seeing the spy working on his speed with one of Steve's punching bags. "Come look at this."

Loki stopped, wiped his brow, and turned to face him.

In Tony's humble opinion, Loki looked good pink-cheeked and out of breath. The sudden twitch of warmth just under his belt told him that continuing on that line of thought was probably a bad idea.

"Hey, apparently you're an Avenger now," Tony grinned, holding the piece of paper out to him.

"Hm?" Loki said, skimming through it. "They're a little off the mark. I am but a humble chaffeur and occasional bodyguard."

"You're a bit more than that, Pixie. Anyway, I'm in the lab today. Feel free to drop in."

-O.O-

The amount of sleep Tony got over the next week was acceptable by no one's standards. He appeared in public giving Iron Man displays to children and high-fiving people and took interviews and basically danced the dance of a media puppet, and when he wasn't doing that, he was redesigning the Iron Man suit to make it so much better than Detroit Steel, and when he wasn't doing _that_ , he was working with Loki on the Ten Rings business.

On the brighter side, he'd finished the carbon nanotubing oversuit design for Clint and Natasha. The material was expensive, but very difficult to tear, and so it made better protection than what they were currently wearing. Tony was making one for Loki, too, but that would have to come out of his own pocket and not SHIELD's. In any case, he'd placed the order for three.

But that was the only upside. Coffee and stubborness was all that kept him awake. He'd pretty much only been in contact with Loki and Pepper in the last week, and the other Avengers were worried. Even Loki had been trying to get him to get more sleep, and that was the pot calling the kettle black.

It was not a good time to be Tony Stark.

On Hammer's side, she'd not been attacking him directly, but she'd been dropping hints every time she said anything about Tony being an unreliable asshole. It seemed she'd befriended one particular journalist, who'd written an article questioning Iron Man's position on the Avengers if he didn't work for SHIELD (conveniently forgetting that Bruce didn't either) and the recent gossip trend was basically 'Things That Are Wrong With Tony Stark'.

While Tony considered this enough to drive a man to drinking, he was determined to stay on his toes.

But at the end of the week, he had a sudden meeting with SHIELD. Trying to keep on their good side for once in his life, he went and tried to pay attention.

It was just Fury and Hill there.

"Stark, we've got a few concerns," Fury said bluntly, cutting to the chase before Tony had even sat down.

"I'm on top of Detroit Steel. My new upgrades-" Tony began, but Fury cut him off.

"This has nothing to do with Detroit Steel, at least not directly. It's about the drop in confidence in Iron Man the country has experienced this past week," Fury said, and when Tony went to speak, he just kept going. "I'm aware you've been working on your image and you're still registering well with children, but it's not children that we're worried about; the people are starting to wonder if you're suitable to be an Avenger. It seems they've spontaneously remembered how self-possessed you were a few years ago, never mind how you are now."

"What a pile of shit," Tony snarled.

"I'm aware, Stark, and as much as it pains me, I appreciate you on the team too. But there's thing called democracy and popular voter opinion wins out."

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Tony snapped. He was tired and he hadn't had a coffee for a few hours and he was unimaginably fucked off at life in general.

"Be seen rescuing a few more kittens from trees. SHIELD wants you around; we have our reservations about Miss Hammer," Fury said.

"Like I haven't been doing that? Like I haven't been fighting that hag tooth and nail? You could actually fucking _help_ instead of playing Secret Sam. I'm just one guy, despite how awesome I am. But I'm not getting anything done sitting here shouting at you; I'm gonna get out right now and wipe something off my to-do list," Tony said, getting up and leaving.

On the flight home he ordered a couple of plane tickets and picked up his carbon nanotube suits from reception.

-O.O-

Loki was hiding out in his bedroom from the rain and Clint trying to play Buckaroo with him when Tony got back.

Tony, still angry, just marched into his room and threw the carbon nanotube suit onto it.

Evidently dozing, Loki startled awake with a cry.

"Sorry, babe," Tony said gently, feeling guilty.

"Tony? What is it?" Loki asked confusedly.

"Suit up, grab your knives, and get that perfect white ass behind the wheel. I'm in a bad mood and I want to burn Mandarin City to the fucking _ground."_


	20. On the move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Tony have somewhere to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the shortness and apparent dullness of this chapter - I've done a little too many of those recently, or so it seems. Never fear, the next chapter will more than make up for it.

Loki blinked at Tony for a moment, considering what he had said. "Yes, of course," he said, getting out of bed. "Give me a short time to collect some equipment."

"No, I didn't mean _right_ now," Tony said. "Our plane leaves in four hours for Beijing. Try this suit on; it should keep out knives and small calibre bullets and the such."

Loki looked surprised; this wasn't a project Tony had pulled him into and he hadn't been expecting a gift like that. "Thank you," he said honestly.

"Repay me by not needing it," Tony said distractedly. "I'll be working until we leave. Don't have too much fun without me."

Loki fake-pouted. "But a brief shower is no fun without infamous playboy Tony Stark."

"Don't tempt me," Tony snorted, leaving the room.

Bad thoughts.

-O.O-

Tony was working in his lab, trying to work out the kinks in a Stark Enterprise product that needed to be finalised soon. A new way of purifying contaminated water. A miracle for everyone and another good looking action for Tony.

He could do this. He'd been in worse situations before. At least he wasn't actively in danger; societal and reputational drama was usually better than being shot at.

 _Gotta sort this out. At least I'm getting the Mandarin off the list,_ Tony thought as he manipulated the hologram. He needed a finer membrane, but the ones he'd had synthesised weren't selective for the right substances. Some minerals were good, others were extremely toxic, and he really only wanted the good ones.

"Sir, agents Barton and Romanoff are requesting entry," JARVIS said.

"Let them in," Tony said distractedly.

"Tony?" Natasha said when the door opened. "Why is Loki packing?"

"He finally moving into your room?" Clint joked. Natasha stood on his foot. "What? They've been making _do me_ eyes for weeks."

"If he didn't tell you, then it's not your business," Tony said shortly, ignoring Clint. He was sexually frustrated enough, thank you.

"I know, Tony; if Loki told you, that's enough for me," Natasha said diplomatically. "We were just wondering where we could find you."

"Asia," Tony said. "That's all I'm saying. Look, we'll be back in a couple of days at the most. Don't sweat it."

Natasha's lips thinned. That was a clear warning.

"I know you're just trying to look out for us!" Tony protested. "And we're big boys. We can look after ourselves."

The look intensified.

"I'll tell you afterwards," Tony bargained, even though Natasha hadn't said anything. "Just not now. Loki will tell you when he wants to."

"If my Kisa gets hurt, you're responsible," Natasha said finally.

"He won't get hurt. Hey, that reminds me, I have new toys for you guys," Tony said, brushing Natasha's maternalistic protectiveness of Loki off. He retrieved the security crate the carbon nanotubing suits had come in and gave them to the two agents. "Good up to low calibre pistols. If someone comes at you with an assault rifle and you die, I can't be sued."

"Thanks, man. I'll keep it in mind," Clint grinned. He held the suit over his thigh and then pinched himself through the fabric. "Ouch! Motherfucker!"

Natasha started chuckling at that. "It's fabric, Clint, you can still pinch yourself."

"You also can't sue me if you get viciously pinched to death," Tony said. "If you do that again, I'm adding a liability waiver."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll find a loophole and sue your billionaire butt for every penny," Clint cackled. "I'm gonna go practice in this, get used to how stretchy it is. Nat, feel free to join me."

Natasha shot Tony another look, then wished him good luck and headed for the door.

"If you're going to test how stretchy you two are, tell JARVIS to put it on my personal server," Tony said.

"See you too, man," Clint said cheerily as the door closed after them.

-O.O-

Tony headed upstairs to collect Loki when it was time to leave. Loki was just finishing a phone call.

"Who was that?" Tony said idly as Loki shouldered the ratty, stuffed-full backpack he'd arrived with.

"My physiotherapist in Iran," Loki answered smoothly. "I am doing well; apparently I should begin light weightlifting."

"Good," Tony smiled sincerely. "You're bringing a lot; you planning a holiday in the Bahamas after?"

"I was thinking the Seychelles," Loki joked, beckoning for Tony to lead the way. "I'm no Boy Scout, but an operative with half a brain is always prepared."

"Guess I don't have half a brain, because apart from stuff for the Iron Man, I have a change of clothes and toiletries. Let's go, Cub Scout," Tony said, making his way to the elevator.

"You're not making that my new nickname, Stark. Pixie was bad enough," Loki said dryly.

 _Stark_. Loki hadn't called him that since before Malibu. Tony wondered what had happened. Maybe Loki had just had bad dreams.

Either way, it stung a little.

But Loki didn't seem cold or standoffish at all as they drove to the airport. He was fairly lighthearted and flirtatious, which made his company a genuine pleasure. Tony really liked Loki as a person; Natasha had been right when she'd said _'He's got a wicked sense of humour - you'd probably like him.'_

Though according to Nat, this Loki was a shadow of the man he'd been. Tony wondered if that meant that the old Loki was the human equivalent of licking a battery.

They were flying to Beijing, which was no short flight, then on to Urumqi, which was fairly close to Mandarin City. Tony would've taken his private jet, but it was actually in Malibu - Pepper had used it to fly to Japan last week - and refueling it and preparing it for a flight of that length then getting it to New York would actually take longer than taking a public plane. Business class wasn't exactly unpleasant, anyway, even if the food was a little iffy.

-O.O-

Loki spent the majority of the flight reading. He'd told Tony he generally wasn't fond of movies, which seemed incongruous with his acting training, but to each their own; maybe he wasn't an actor for a reason.

Either way, the man was reading.

Tony tried working. Then he tried studying satellite photos of Mandarin City. Then he tried sleeping. Eventually he gave in to listening to _The Best Of The Clash_ and pondering his next move on the Hammer-Stark chessboard. Kiss more babies. Hug more trees.

After about ten hours of reading - _where_ Loki got the attention span, Tony didn't know - Loki finally tried to go to sleep. And half an hour in, he began the slight twitches that told Tony he was having a nightmare, so Tony gently held his hand across the partition.

Loki's eyes flicked open, poison-green, and he stared at Tony's hand in his before looking at him strangely and saying he needed to use the bathroom. When he came back - and after he refused the glass of water a flight attendant offered him with a slight shudder - he made sure he lay just out of Tony's reach.

It really was odd.

-O.O-

The flight to Urumqi was a little better; Loki and Tony chatted the whole way about one thing or another, Loki even telling Tony a few things about his childhood, though Tony noted the conspicuous absence of any names. It was 'my stepbrother' or 'my teacher'.

"Pixie," Tony said eventually. "Do you keep your family a secret to protect them, or to protect yourself?"

Loki shot Tony another slightly odd look before saying "A little of both, I suppose."

"It's not a bad idea, but you can't really keep it up when you're Tony Stark," Tony said wryly.

"My stepfather is rather famous," Loki said. "That doesn't mean I'm known for him."

"I guess you can start again with a new life if you go far enough," Tony conceded.

"It happens in the movies all the time," Loki said.

"Someone should definitely make a movie about you," Tony said. "You've really nailed the whole _international man of mystery_ thing."

"Good luck finding an actor who looks like me," Loki snorted.

"Nah, we'll just put a wig on a well-trained greyhound and we'll be away," Tony teased. "I'll be played by the handsomest actor in the business, and he still won't compare to my majesty."

"Large claims for such a small man," Loki chuckled.

"My height might not be anything impressive, but apart from that, I'm definitely no small man," Tony said in a very serious tone.

Loki raised a black eyebrow. "I see no money where your mouth is."

"Don't tempt me, Pixie," Tony said. "People frown on the Mile High Club these days."

"I'm already a member," Loki pointed out with an impish smile.

"Yeah, same. But it's the principle of the thing, you know," Tony said.

"Mm-hm," Loki said. "We're landing in a moment. I never did enjoy the landing."

"Why's that?"

"A large metal cylinder artfully falls from the sky onto small wheels. I may know the science, but it's not reassuring."

-O.O-

They checked into the nicest hotel they could find in Urumqi, which was pretty damn nice. Tony thought it might be better for Loki's privacy and his own sanity if they had separate rooms.

"Now, son," Tony said mockingly. "Don't take anything from the minibar. I'm not made of money."

"If there's vodka, I can guarantee nothing," Loki said. Tony couldn't tell if he was being serious, but left him to settle in. It was only mid-afternoon, but they were jetlagged and were going in before dawn the next morning anyway, so they wanted to go to bed fairly early.

Now that he'd had a day to calm down, Tony wondered how wise his idea was. But he was there anyway, and they were going to be well armoured and armed, so worst came to worst, Tony could literally fly them out of a tricky situation.

 _In, out. Rather like sleeping with a crime lord's daughter,_ Loki had remarked on the plane. A smile came to Tony when he thought about it.


	21. Point of no return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, yeah, I was interested enough in this chapter to get it done quickly. And I hope it makes up for the two shitty ones leading up to it.
> 
> Secondly, a warning for sex. I thought it'd say it, even though I know at least a few of you are only reading this because this was tagged 'smut' and you're a bunch of perverts. But I thought I'd say it. Also, I apologise for my poor smut-writing skills.

Tony took a shower to rinse the feeling of _plane_ off himself before he decided to get room service with Loki. They had to eat, especially Loki; Tony was sure he'd been eating less recently, which was a worry.

Knocking on the door, Tony said "Hey, can I come in?"

"It's a free - well, it's a semi-free country, I suppose," Loki replied smoothly.

Tony pushed open the door to see Loki sitting on the bed, idly brushing out his freshly cleaned and dried hair.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, what do you want for dinner?" Tony said with a smirk.

"Anything," Loki answered idly as he focused on his black mane.

Getting closer, Tony noticed that Loki looked more stressed than he had half an hour ago. He was paler, if that was possible, and the dark shadows under his eyes had deepened.

"I don't speak the language, and unless you suddenly want to reveal that you speak yet another language, I'm going to order two of the first thing on this menu," Tony said, wiggling the card on Loki's bedside table.

"Go for it," Loki said. "My appetite has faded a little."

Tony called for the food and then sat there in silence for a few moments as Loki finished tidying his hair and then just started staring at the wall, his vivid green eyes a little unfocused.

"Loki?" Tony said cautiously. "Are you okay?"

"Well enough," Loki answered. "My confidence on missions has taken a slight beating."

"You'll be right back to walking over the corpses of your enemies in no time," Tony said as reassuringly as possible.

Loki's eyes flickered around the room, intentionally not looking at Tony.

Their food arrived in fairly good time and they ate in silence, at least until Tony starting dropping noodles on the floor when he tried using chopsticks for the hell of it.

A fondly exasperated look came over Loki's face and the merc leaned over to correct how Tony was holding them.

Evidently Loki was _all_ about the mixed signals that day.

Once they'd finished, they made some small talk about strategy and working together that was fairly nonconsequential, and Tony felt like he was intruding on Loki just by existing. But then the spy would genuinely smile or look cheery for just a moment, like he'd been doing more and more recently.

"Pixie, I may not have one of your fancy psychology degrees, but I have a friendship token - or I like to think I do - and that means you can vomit your emotions all over me, y'know?" Tony said.

"Friendship token?" Loki asked amusedly.

"I mean, I'm not here as your employer," Tony went on. "I don't pay my drivers to beat up crimelords. I'm here as your friend to help you get to an enemy."

"At the moment, you're not my employer," Loki clarified, and Tony nodded.

It took a moment, but then Tony caught where Loki was going with that.

They kind of looked at each other for a moment, and Tony wondered if this was Loki reconsidering all his professional ethics in the name of having sex with Tony Stark in a hotel room in Urumqi.

His eyes flicked to Loki's bed where they were sitting and then back up to Loki before something broke and Loki buried his hands in Tony's t-shirt, pulling him closer and pressing their lips together.

It felt like an electric shock, when their lips finally touched, Loki pulling him close. This was _right._

Tony responded immediately, his hands moving to Loki's hips, brushing his tongue against Loki's bottom lip. In a moment, Loki had taken control, his tongue in Tony's mouth and his dextrous hand tangling in his hair.

 _This fucked-up, imperfect guy is amazing,_ Tony thought, loosing a slight moan from the back of his throat as Loki did something clever with his mouth that made warmth slip down Tony's spine.

Feeling a need to hold his own, Tony let one of his hands explore Loki's back under his t-shirt, feeling soft skin and lean muscle and eventually ribs - poor fucker - as the other slid down to Loki's ass for a good grope.

Loki pulled away for a moment, his lips red and wet as he appraised Tony.

"You're _beautiful,"_ Tony said, immediately feeling stupid for sounding like a lovesick teen.

"I'm-" Loki began, before changing his mind. "As are you, Tony. Lie back."

Tony leaned back to rest his weight on his elbows, wondering what Loki had planned, at least until one of Loki's long legs swung over his hips and Loki appeared above him, straddling him with an utterly sinful smirk on his face.

Loki leaned down and they were kissing again, messy and with a little too much tongue, and Tony felt like Loki seemed almost a little desperate for something. If it was affection, he could do that.

The merc clearly knew what he was doing; after a chaste press of their lips, Loki brought his mouth down to Tony's neck and laved his tongue over his jugular, nipping and licking before scraping his teeth down Tony's throat, chuckling a little at the shudder he got in return.

Tony couldn't take this much longer; his hands on Loki's hips, he ground upwards, feeling Loki hard against him. Loki wanted him too. He was watching Loki's face; a ripple of both pleasure and pain washed across it as Loki let out a stuttered sound against his throat.

"You okay?" Tony pulled back from their joined mouths to ask.

Loki nodded, the pupils of his eyes blown wide with arousal. With his hair mussed, his face flushed and his body warmer than Tony had ever felt it, he was a hot mess.

Recognising the issue, Tony pulled his knees up for leverage and rolled them over, pinning Loki down and leaning in to kiss him again, their lips molding together perfectly.

"Hey, Pixie Stick," Tony breathed against Loki's lips. "I bet that scar is ticklish."

Loki's eyes widened a little and an impish grin shone across his face as he shuffled up the bed. Tony's hands pushed up his t-shirt, baring the long pink scar to his eyes.

 _I wish I could fix you,_ Tony thought as he dropped his head to the twisted skin.

Loki's skin tasted slightly sweet, like the cheap hotel body wash, and fresh, and clean, and so ludicrously soft that Tony couldn't resist scraping his teeth over that cicatrix that marked the moment Loki's life had burned down. Loki let out his first proper moan, a deep, rich sound that made Tony's cock throb in his jeans.

Keeping on that path, Tony made his way from the tip of the scar, just under Loki's protuberant ribs, all the way across his belly and down to the other end at his hip. He was right; it was extremely sensitive and Loki showed this by writhing and letting little desperate sounds out of his throat as Tony explored the blemish.

Loki's hands had wound themselves in Tony's hair, not letting him pull away, and now they guided Tony downwards.

Tony could take a hint.

"Ready, babe?" Tony said, sliding down the bed a little further. He brought his hand to the bulge in Loki's black jeans, kneading him firmly as Loki cried out in pleasure.

Now _that_ was a good sound. Tony slid the button of Loki's fly through its loop, then gently unzipped his jeans, Loki arching his hips up to allow Tony to slide them down his hips.

Then it was only Loki's boxers, pushed away hastily, and Tony had his mouth on the head of Loki's hard cock. Loki let out a guttural groan, his hands clenching in Tony's hair as he involuntarily twisted his hips up, seeking more warmth.

Judging by how Loki's moans were coming quickly in short pants, and how his cock was already leaking, he wouldn't last long. It had been a long time since he'd had sex, at least by Tony's standards.

Tony brought his tongue down the underside of Loki's cock, mouthing at his balls, before sucking on the tip to taste his seed. He tugged down Loki's boxers a little more, encouraging Loki to spread his legs, then brought his hand up to fondle Loki's balls and then press lightly on his perineum.

Loki trembled with pleasure, more precome leaking from his cock into Tony's mouth, and Tony took that as his cue to relax his throat and take in as much of the merc's length as he could, using his hand to stroke what he couldn't take in. He bobbed his head, swirling his tongue as much as possible, taking his cue from how Loki had passed sensible noises and was groaning desperately.

"Tony, I'm-" Loki gasped out, bucking his hips up despite the pain it caused him.

Tony pulled off for a moment to say "Go for it, babe," before taking in Loki's cock again and sucking with some force.

Loki spasmed, then, his hands clenching in Tony's hair as he let out a stuttered groan and came, hard, in Tony's mouth. Tony swallowed what he could, pulled off to lick his lips, and stroked Loki's cock until Loki hissed from oversensitivity.

Tony climbed his way back up Loki's body, still fully clothed, and looked at him, his eyes closed as he caught his breath and his hair tossed loosely everywhere and his face flushed a bright pink. He looked debauched and utterly beautiful.

Without looking, Loki wrapped a hand around Tony's neck, pulling him into another kiss, this one softer and more caring, sharing the taste of Loki's come between them.

Loki's hands quickly found and undid the front of Tony's jean, shoving them down roughly so he could take Tony's hard cock in hand and slide his nimble hand along it, twisting his thumb under the head. Tony was close - giving Loki pleasure had done that to him - and he thrust his length into Loki's fist roughly, working in an easy synchronicity with the man, push and pull, until he gasped out "Fuck, Loki, I'm close, _please,"_ and Loki jerked him harder, kissing him again, until Tony came all over Loki's stomach with a cry.

They stared at each other for a moment, panting the same air, until Tony leaned down and gently kissed Loki, all affection, no lust. "You're breathtaking, babe," Tony murmured softly to Loki, who managed to blush a little more and mumble something similar in return.

Resting their foreheads together, they stayed there for a moment, until Tony climbed off Loki, who wiped himself clean with a hotel facecloth and tugged off his jeans the rest of the way before climbing in to bed. Tony did the same, removing his pants and chucking them wherever. Then he turned to look at Loki, who was staring at the ceiling, looking a little conflicted.

"If you're worried about professional integrity, I could always fire you," Tony joked.

Loki barely smiled, but consented to Tony kissing him again, then curled into Tony's chest. "Goodnight, Tony."

"I get the message," Tony smiled, pressing his lips to the top of Loki's head and wrapping his arms around Loki's still-clothed back.

He wasn't sure what had just happened. They'd had sex, but Loki seemed to be a million miles away; Tony wondered if he'd inadventently used him, then wondered if he was being used. Either way, he had Loki snuggled against him now, and he was going to help the spy get closure tomorrow.

Everything would turn out okay, and maybe Tony would get Loki for himself out of it, too.

-O.O-

Clint and Natasha had just woken up and were currently enjoying the warm time between waking and getting up by just lying around.

Their meandering conversation had been along many paths and had now landed on the inevitable topic of Tony and Loki.

"You knew they'd get along, didn't you?" Clint smirked. "I swear, since the moment they met they've been thinking of baby names."

"I thought that if Loki would get along with anyone, it would be Tony," Natasha admitted. "I think that the list of people who can handle Tony is very short, and Loki is on it. They're very similar."

"In short, you're hearing wedding bells too," Clint said. "Spy weddings are the best. Everyone there can kick every else's ass."

"Loki especially," Natasha said. "I trained him, so he's the best of the best."

"Natasha Romanoff, you're a symbol of modesty," Clint said, finally starting to sit up. "Though from what I've heard, Loki is - or was - pretty good. There was that thing in Turkey, and didn't he have a run-in with HYDRA and come out on top?"

"That was one of the things that convinced SHIELD to recruit him," Natasha said, climbing out of bed and looking for workout clothes. "JARVIS, lights. It's all in his file; he tagged along with a group attacking a HYDRA base. From what I heard, he broke into one of their labs and downloaded quite a lot of their R&D information. He sold it to SHIELD, which was when they asked him to join."

Clint chuckled to himself at that, at how SHIELD loved to bring in the clever criminals - and no doubt Loki was wanted for some crime somewhere, just like half the people SHIELD headhunted - when a nasty thought struck him and he stopped in his tracks.

"Nat," he said cautiously. "HYDRA's security is excellent. Even SHIELD's boffins take a long time to crack it. And Loki told us he didn't know anything about hacking."

Natasha stopped, then, too, and sat back down on their bed heavily. "No. That son of a bitch."

"Nat-" Clint started, but he didn't continue when he heard Natasha take a heavy breath. What the hell could he even say?

"I'm going to kill him," Natasha said, her voice dangerously calm.

Clint rarely heard Natasha threaten someone so openly. But Loki was or had been one of her closest friends, and Natasha did not take betrayal well. And rightly so.

"JARVIS, call Tony," she said evenly, the fingernails of her clenched fist ripping little holes in their sheets.

-O.O-

Loki was still awake. To him, it felt like that was his permanent state of being. He hadn't found it easy to get to sleep for a long, long time. His brain was still hardwired on the idea that at any moment he could be dragged away for another round of torture.

Tony's phone suddenly started buzzing from in the man's pants, still lying on the floor next to the bed. Loki rolled over, pulling away from Tony, and stretched down to retrieve it.

A picture of Nat wearing felt reindeer antlers greeted him. He almost smiled.

Then he pressed the 'Reject Call' button, unlocked the phone and deleted the incoming call history before slipping it back into Tony's pants and leaving everything looking how it had looked before his phone had rang.

Tony made a slight murmuring noise in his sleep. Knowing he was being selfish, Loki rolled back over and wrapped his arm around Tony's chest, inhaling the smell of the man, trying to hold onto it. At least he'd had tonight.


	22. A knife in the hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, judging by comments, you folks are not okay.
> 
> Set up a prayer circle or something.
> 
> Also, I kinda feel like this fic is in two halves. This is the second one.

When Tony woke up in the morning, he was a little disorientated.

Then he remembered what had happened and he smiled, searching dozily about for Loki to kiss him first thing in the morning. He quickly realised he was alone, so he pushed the warm blankets back a bit to see Loki in his carbon suit, looking out the window at the light drops of rain.

"You okay?" Tony asked.

The carbon nanotube suit fitted him well, Tony noticed - JARVIS was obviously good at taking measurements. Not quite skintight, it was loose enough for free movement without being a liability in terms of getting in the way or being bulky. And pitch black suited Loki; it made the pallor of his hands and face glow.

Loki turned to face him, his face whiter than usual. "I will survive. It's only rain."

"And this is just a hole in my chest," Tony replied, his hand playing over his chest. "Hate to bring back sex ed, Pixie, but it's okay to say no."

Loki shook his head. "We will go."

He sounded certain and Tony wasn't planning to tell Loki he was weak, so screw it.

"'Kay then," Tony said, getting out of bed. "I'll be back in a minute."

As Tony left, heading back to his own room, he wondered how Loki felt about the previous night. He vowed to sit down with Loki once this was over and have an actual conversation with him about their grown-up feelings.

They had to get moving. Tony got into his undersuit, slapped on some cleaner clothes that didn't smell like a mixture of Loki and Tony's sweat (which was a pretty good smell, but also a distracting one) and checked his phone. A million and one calls from everyone, especially Fury, Pepper, Steve and Natasha, but they were probably nagging about where he was. He ignored them; he had enough on his plate. The suitcase Iron Man was still in their rental car, so he was ready to go.

When he came back into Loki's room, Loki was sitting stiffly on the bed, waiting.

"Ready?" Tony asked.

Loki nodded, throwing that tatty backpack over his shoulder.

They walked down to the car in silence.

-O.O-

On the trip there, they didn't talk much, barring plans, until Tony finally said "Loki, you're not okay."

Loki's fingers tightened a little on the steering wheel. "I'm facing the creature of my nightmares while it rains. I'm a little tense."

"You'll be fine," Tony soothed. "Look, I'm actually sorry if I came on too strong last night. Especially if I hurt you."

Loki shook his head, an impish grin pulling on the corners of his lips. "Never you worry, Stark. _Somehow_ I'm not the type to turn down an attractive, intelligent man sucking my cock."

Well, that was putting it bluntly.

"Yeah, I dunno why people turn it down so much. It's pretty great," Tony said, the ice broken a little. "That carbon suit looks _damn_ good on you, by the way."

Loki smirked. "I haven't worn anything like a catsuit for a long time, though I think this one is a little more high-tech than my last."

"Now I'm curious," Tony said, raising an eyebrow.

"I trained in those awful things in MI6," Loki answered with a playful shudder. "I don't know what they used in lieu of laundry powder, but they never seemed to be clean."

"What'd you use when you were working, then?" Tony asked.

Loki looked pained by something, nostalgia perhaps, when he said "I usually work undercover. Casual clothes. When I am dropping all notions of stealth, usually something unrestricting of movement and black."

"Like the catsuit?" Tony said.

Loki nodded.

"Well, I've given you something useful for when you get back on your feet," Tony said.

Tony had largely decided that Loki's initial standoffishness had been anxiety about the upcoming mission. He seemed fairly open, just plagued by dark thoughts, and in his defence, it was raining.

-O.O-

After an hour or two, they'd made it to the point where they were about two or three miles from Mandarin City, as SHIELD had nicknamed the compound. Loki pulled the car over onto the side of the road, slipping knives into the pockets of the suit, including one up each sleeve. Then he slipped his backpack on and tightened the straps so it wouldn't get in the way. Tony took the hint and got out of the car, stripping off his overclothes and getting into the Iron Man suit.

In silence, Tony wrapped his arm around Loki's firm chest, and they soared off the ground in the general direction of Mandarin City.

-O.O-

They landed on the balcony of the Mandarin's villa, which was a luxurious building surrounded by what was virtually a shanty town with the occasional proper structure. No one seemed to notice or care about their presence, which was odd, considering they wouldn't want Iron Man in their business.

The large French doors had bulletproof glass in them, but the best security in the world was no use when it wasn't in action, and the door was unlocked.

Inside, it was all luxury and glamour. Everything looked expensive, but in a flashier way than Tony's wealth.

What was the saying? Only those with new wealth show it off. Maybe the Mandarin had climbed up a long way.

They padded across the carpet, JARVIS scanning everything to check where the nearest people were and how the house was laid out. Loki was at Tony's back, looking around warily with a throwing knife in one hand and a hand knife in the other.  
The room they were in seemed to be a living room, and no one was in it.

Tony was right about to pass into the next room when his viewscreen went black.

"JARVIS?" Tony said in fear.

He got no response. There was no power in his helmet.

His faceplate didn't pop up, so he undid it manually, looking down to check the suit's chest was still glowing. "Loki? I have a prob-"

As he was speaking, something jammed itself into his mouth.

Tony couldn't quite process what was going on, shoving away at whatever was blocking his breathing. He couldn't breathe through his nose, either, and he was beginning to panic.

Fighting, Tony realised his airways were being blocked by a hand.

_Loki, what...?_

He shoved away desperately, trying to power up his repulsors without his viewscreen as a guide, until suddenly he registered that something was scraping at his chest. All of a sudden, the suit lost all power. Tony was struggling to move, now, and the panic was making him run out of stored oxygen earlier, and his head was going dark, and he didn't want to fall asleep but he couldn't help it...

It took Tony a while to come back to himself, and it was because he registered a sharp pain as something jabbed his throat. A needle, he realised, after the drag of the shaft through his skin.

_Oh, gods, no._

He couldn't talk, or he would've begged Loki to know what he was doing. And why.

_Please, you fucker, this better not be what I think this is._

All of Tony's muscles had seemingly turned to pudding, and he couldn't even open his eyes. He was having a full blown panic attack in his mind, but his shallow breathing rate hadn't even increased.

_I'm trapped. I'm trapped and I can't move. It's dark and I'm trapped and oh god I'm going to die._

"It's a paralytic," Loki informed him, his voice fairly close to Tony. "No lasting effects."

 _Well, that's so fucking reassuring,_ Tony thought. He wished he could move so he could punch Loki in the face.

The sharp sound of someone cannabilising electronics filled Tony's ears. He could feel something scraping at his chest again.

 _Get away from the arc, you fucker!_ Tony thought.

"I wouldn't destroy the work of art that is your Iron Man suit, never worry," Loki said, his voice genuinely reassuring despite the circumstances.

Tony almost felt nauseous. He couldn't believe he'd trusted Loki.

He'd trusted him immediately because he was curious, and because Natasha knew him.

He couldn't believe he'd let Loki in so much.

"I know this means nothing at this point," Loki continued softly. "But I am truly sorry for this."

_You think I care that you're 'truly' sorry? If that was true you wouldn't be doing this!_

He heard the gentle rustle of fabric, before Loki said "If I were you, I'd pretend to be unconscious. I still maintain that she's a bitch."

_She?_

_Oh, no, no, no._

Something pressed down over Tony's mouth and he realised it was Loki's lips, stealing a kiss he had no goddamn right to anymore.

_You fucker, I could've loved you._

As he heard footsteps approaching and Loki got off his chest, all he could think was _I could've loved you_ over and over. It hurt, a psychological ache in his chest when his muscles wouldn't move.

"Oh, I wasn't sure you'd go through with it, Loki," a female voice said, both cheerful and cruel. "For a moment there I thought you'd gone native."

Tony heard the slight exhalation of irritation Loki let out. So he wasn't on good terms with Justine, because that was who it was.

"I'm in no mood to banter, Hammer," Loki said patiently, though Tony could hear his teeth being gritted. "When can I expect to be paid?"

"In good time," Hammer said. "I'm a little busy celebrating right now."

There was a dull _tink!_ as what was presumably Justine's stiletto heel landed on his chestplate.

"Well, Tony Stark," Hammer crowed. "I think I've outdone my father more than a little. What do you think?"

Tony couldn't move, but if he could, he would've done Hammer a miscellaneous injury.

"Is he conscious?" Hammer asked Loki.

"Not even a little," Loki answered. "Leave him alone."

"I'm entitled to a little moment of victory," Hammer reprimanded. "Know your place, Loki."

"My place is a long, long way away from you," Loki spat.

"Our contract would disagree," Hammer replied. "Don't tell me you actually liked him, Feison."

"He's a good man," Loki said.

"He can't be that good, or you wouldn't have done this to him. Is this damage to the chestplate repairable?"

"More than. Superficial damage only," Loki said.

"What do you think?" Hammer said, clearly talking to someone other than Loki.

Muffled footsteps, then a heavier presence leaned over Tony, their breath rotten. "You've done well, Feison. The Iron Man suit, Tony Stark, and this device in his chest."

"Don't touch that," Loki said.

All Tony could really tell was that Loki wasn't happy with the situation. Why, Tony couldn't really know without a lot more info, but part of it was definitely having betrayed Tony. While it wasn't anything like enough to make the situation okay, it at least told Tony that he hadn't been completely used.

Not completely. He was still fairly fucking used.

"M and I can't pay you at this moment, Feison," Hammer said, her voice all business again. "Moving large sums of money between private bank accounts is monitored these days."

"You'd better pay me, Hammer, or I will hunt you down and feed you your organs," Loki hissed.

"What a horror. Being hunted down by a cripple is my greatest fear," Hammer said. "M, take Stark and put him in the crate."

Tony registered the rotten breath again before he was picked up bodily and carried away. He thought the paralytic might be wearing off, but it didn't matter when he was taken to another room and packed into what felt like a very small case. Even if he had full movement, he wouldn't be able to wriggle in the confinement enough to reactivate the power.

The feeling of panic already present in his chest flared again as he registered the lid being placed on the crate.

_Oh fuck, oh god, I'm going to die-_

-O.O-

"I want a plane to Heathrow," Loki said sharply after Tony had been carried off.

"Hm?" Hammer said, caught up in whatever thoughts had been making her grin cheerily.

"I want a plane to Heathrow while I wait for payment," Loki said. "Not booked in my name. Stark has powerful friends."

"Certainly," Hammer said with the air of wanting Loki out of her hair. "Stay in touch."

All of Loki's contacts were in the merc business, either directly or indirectly. No, he needed someplace to shelter where he could go about his business in peace, without being recognised or having to use ID that could be traced back to him. And the only people Loki was close enough to that would take him in unquestioned were his estranged family.

What joy.


	23. Home is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki heads for home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, again, judging by comments, you're all perfectly happy with what's been happening and Loki's role in it = D

It took Hammer a disturbingly short period of time to whip up a fake passport and plane tickets to England for Loki.

According to his passport, his name was Serrure Jarlson (whatever that meant) and he was coming to England. He was flying out in only four hours from Urumqi to LA, and then nonstop from LA to London, which was a bitch of a flight.

However, it was how to get to London, so Loki would take it.

Hammer got one of the Mandarin's drivers - she called him M, which was by Loki's standards a terrible nickname - to pick Loki up and take him from Mandarin City to the airport.

As he flung his backpack into the back seat, Hammer handed him a cell phone. "I'll call it with the details of your payment."

Loki slid the phone into one of the pockets of the carbon suit - it really was a great piece of equipment _don't think about Tony_   - and nodded sternly. "Don't call me before then," he said acidly.

"Lighten up, Feison," Hammer said, her good mood from her win over Tony spilling over into dealing with Loki. "It's not like you just did something you'll never be forgiven for."

Loki felt as though if he dealt with Hammer for one more moment he'd give into temptation and stab her. "I'll alter that; don't talk to me at all before then," he said with just enough venom in his tone to annoy her.

Justine's lips pursed and she leaned ever so slightly into his personal space. "Take a shower before you force other people to breathe your air on the plane, Feison. You reek of sex."

Loki hadn't noticed, and that just irritated him even more, so he got in the car, slamming the door and telling the driver to go. He didn't want to stay in that compound a moment more.

-O.O-

When he was dropped at the airport, Loki didn't say a word to the driver, taking his backpack and slinking away. The pack contained everything he'd wanted from New York; he couldn't take everything, so he'd taken as much as he could stuff in that pack.

That backpack was literally the only belonging he had that he'd taken into Afghanistan and managed to take out of it. It looked rough as anything, but it was still in one piece and could fit a remarkable amount of stuff in it. Unfortunately, that meant it wouldn't fit into an overhead locker. He changed his clothes to jeans and his faithful faux-leather jacket before checking the bag in.

Once he'd checked in for his flight, he went to the departures lounge to make a phone call.

His fingers slid neatly along the touch screen as he went to a relatively uncrowded corner.

"Yes?" Natasha said.

"Nat, listen to me, because I'm not planning to repeat any of it," Loki said in Russian in case someone was listening.

"Loki? Where are you?" Natasha said, her voice determined to be a deadpan.

"Tony is in Mandarin City, near Urumqi, China. He is in the hands of Justine Hammer and the Mandarin. He is currently in a crate, wearing the Iron Man suit, which has been depowered. Likely he will be transported via private aircraft to Justine Hammer's facility in San Diego. Please rescue him in good time," Loki said, keeping his voice decidedly calm and level.

"Loki, what the hell did you do?" Natasha said levelly.

"What I had to do," Loki answered. "I'm sorry, Nat."

"Please, Kisa-" Natasha said, her voice changing to borderline pleading, but Loki had pulled the phone away from his ear and disconnected the call.

Then he walked to one of the narrow windows, cracked open for ventilation, and slid the phone Tony had bought him out the window. The smartphone fell two floors and hit the ground, splintering into a very large number of very small pieces.

Loki kept a blank face as he walked to one of the many, many duty-free shops. He'd withdrawn as much cash as he could from an ATM as he came into the airport, but he couldn't use his card from now on, because it could be traced to the departures lounge and give a rough idea of what flight he was on. It was one thing to know that Loki had visited an international airport. It was another to know what country he was going to.

He picked up assorted low-quality makeup, some potentially illegal sleeping pills and a couple of books he hadn't read before. That was pretty much all he needed.

The books were highly recommended, but seemed suspect.

In any case, his items bought, he headed for the nearest disabled bathroom. Locking the door, he pulled a little pair of ceramic scissors from his shirt.

Fuck, he loved ceramic blades. Metal detector-proof. If they'd been bigger, they might've been picked up, but he was in the clear.

His first priority was his hair. It was almost shoulder-length, curling up at the ends, held down by gel, and pitch black. He couldn't change the colour, not without some heavy-duty hair bleach, but he could change the style.

His mind made up, Loki began to trim the ends, working a little bit at a time. Yes, he was cutting his hair in an airport bathroom, but that didn't mean he needed to look bad.

It took him quite a while, but he snipped his hair back to where it had been when he was a teen, tucked into the nape of his neck. Then he rinsed it under the tap, returning a little of its natural wave.

He looked quite different already. Younger, sort of.

Then he opened the makeup container. It wasn't exactly the kind of stuff he'd like to use, being a little clumpy and probably wouldn't look too smooth, but he was just trying to look a little less Lokish.

Loki had learned quite a bit about disguise from his training, but he'd learned a lot more about how apply makeup from Anita.

He may not have liked her enough to take her with him, but he at least respected her ability to simultaneously be fabulous and keep an entire camp of men under her thumb.

Loki's goal was to make himself less immediately recognisable, a problem when he was over six feet tall with rather distinctive features. The hair had helped. And now he'd used a little foundation and blush to add some colour to his face and make his cheekbones less prominent.

All in all, he looked half a dozen years younger, and much less like he'd lived a rough life.

Never deny the effects of corrective makeup.

Someone bashed on the door of the bathroom and said something in a language Loki didn't understand.

"Sorry, man, airplane food fucks me up!" Loki called back, applying a thick Boston accent to make himself harder to understand.

It clearly worked, because they didn't knock again.

Loki inspected himself. He couldn't make himself shorter, which was a bitch, but the casual clothes softened his frame and make him look less like a flagpole.

Ideally, he'd add coloured contacts and maybe actually bleach his hair, but he didn't have the resources.

-O.O-

Presumably as a punishment for his irritability, Hammer had bought Loki a seat in economy class. Loki had upgraded himself, because this was a long flight and the less he talked, the better.

His loathing of movies and television severely reduced his options for entertainment. He didn't like watching people act and do it all wrong. Instead, he picked an album that he recognised from his youth, picked up one of his books, and began to read.

Unfortunately, the long flight time gave him more than enough time to consider the last 24 hours.

Tony. Tony was at the heart of it. Tony had trusted him and pretty much fallen head over heels for him and Loki had stabbed him with a paralytic and handed him over to the opposition. He'd known it was coming, of course - he may not have been a future thinker, but he could definitely picture three weeks ahead - but that didn't mean he regretted it any less.

Natasha would get Tony out before any harm befell him, Loki was certain. And the bonus to that situation was that Loki would still get paid.

Everything worked out, and Loki could continue to mind his own business.

Eventually, he gave in and took two of the possibly illegal sleeping pills, hoping they'd drag him down for long enough to forget.

-O.O-

After a day and a half of flying, Loki ended up in Heathrow. The airport was familiar, and he smiled at the congested lines and the first English accents he'd heard for too long. He scooped up his faithful backpack from the baggage claim, slipped it onto his back, and headed for the entrance to the Underground.

It smelt as 'good' as he remembered. At least he'd gotten a seat.

Loki wanted somewhere to stay with someone who'd undoubtedly take him in and not ask too many questions. The ideal candidate for that role wasn't his adoptive parents - Frigga would be delighted to see him, but he'd parted with Odin on bad terms and in any case they'd both have too many questions he wasn't planning to answer. It wasn't like he actually had any close friends from England that weren't in the intelligence business.

Basically, his goal was to not use any traceable identification or stay with anyone who was affiliated with his line of work.

So his step-brother was his only option, insipid as Loki found him.

Fortunately for him, while he hadn't contacted anyone in his adoptive family since he'd quit MI6, he'd kept his eyes on them, just in case someone decided to use them as leverage over him. Thor was _married_ now, with a political career and his own house half a mile from where they'd grown up.

People had grown up. Loki still felt like a teenager sometimes. Just a really dangerous one.

He left the Underground entrance that was closest to his brother's house, quickly checking a map before setting off down the grey pavement. If he looked a long distance down the street, he could see a faint smog. Ah, London.

Eventually he arrived at Thor's house, a distinctly ordinary house that must have cost a lot.

Loki wasn't at all nervous or excited to see Thor. No doubt nothing much had changed for him as a person. It would be interesting to meet his bride of choice, admittedly, but Loki was a lot more preoccupied with _\- not Tony -_ getting paid and thinking out his next move.

He was about to knock on the door when he noticed the doorbell, which he then pressed.

 _The Saints Go Marching In_ rang out through the house. Half a minute later, the door was answered by a pretty young woman with long brown hair and a wedding ring on her finger.

"Jane, I presume," Loki said, immediately putting on the warmest, most amiable smile he was capable of. Which was one hell of a smile, all sunshine and rainbows. "My name is Loki Feison; I'd rather like to talk to Thor."

"Hello," Jane said in surprise. "Of course; I'll just go get him. Can I ask what it's about?"

"Trust me, he'll want to see me," Loki said, leaning against the doorframe.

Jane closed the door - smart woman, Loki could be up to something - and went to go find Thor.

It didn't take long until Loki heard heavy footsteps and a large blonde man opened the door with great enthusiasm. "Luke!" He exclaimed with great joy, pulling Loki into a tight hug.

Thor wasn't any smaller than Loki remembered him, still the same height but rippling with muscles than completely enveloped Loki.

Well, Loki was trying to cadge a place to stay off him, so he awkwardly tried to participate in the hug.

"Luke, I haven't seen you for..." Thor said. "How long?"

"Eight years," Loki said. "I decided a visit might be in order."

"Come in," Thor said, gesturing Loki into the house. "Jane, this is-"

"I'd prefer to be known as Loki," Loki said, offering a hand to shake it. Make a good impression, Feison.

"I've heard a lot about you," Jane said, taking his hand with a warm smile.

Thor still hadn't taken his hand off Loki's shoulder, clearly not wanting to break the link between the two of them.

"Unfortunately, I can't say the same," Loki said. "I'm sorry I missed your wedding, Thor; I was on the other side of the world."

Loki _wasn't_ actually sorry because he'd always thought weddings were a boring waste of time. But now he thought about it, he had missed quite a bit.

"How's your work going, Lu - Loki?" Thor corrected himself, taking Loki's backpack off him and tucking it behind the couch. Loki kept his eyes on it; the one thing he didn't want was to lose sight of it.  
"That is rather why I'm here, Thor," Loki said. "I need somewhere to stay."

Best to be blunt. Thor wouldn't say no to him.

"Of course, brother, but why...?" Thor said. Jane headed into the kitchen to pour out a pot of coffee she'd evidently just made.

Loki tried not to react to the word 'brother'. Got to keep Thor happy.

"I've pissed off some very important people and need to lie low," Loki said. "I have a lot of cash on hand and won't inconvenience you."

"Could father not resolve the issue?" Thor said, gratefully accepting a cup of coffee from Jane.

"I don't work for MI6 anymore," Loki said in surprise. I work as a freelancer now. Thor, didn't Odin tell you?"

"No," Thor admitted. "He refuses to talk about you."

"I'd expect as much," Loki sighed. "Thor, may I stay here?"

Jane was wisely hovering at the edges, not wanting to interrupt the conversation.

"Of course you may," Thor said. "I'll prepare the guest room."

Loki smiled in thanks and took a sip of the coffee Jane handed him. "Thank you."

"And Loki? I expect you to tell me about all of this in detail," Thor said gravely. "For now, I think you should rest. You look dead on your feet."


	24. The board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony goes home.

Initially, Tony had just panicked. He was paralysed in a tiny box with the upcoming potential of death and humiliation. He'd been within his rights to literally burst into tears with frustration, but he'd been careful to stay quiet. The last thing he wanted was Hammer realising he was awake and seizing an opportunity to mock him, or worse.

So he laid in a tiny box, in a non-functional metal bodysuit, trying to panic quietly.

After a little while, he let his brain slip onto autopilot. If he thought about Loki for a moment more he'd go insane.

He registered movement. Being picked up. Being put down somewhere with a thud. A rushing feeling. His ears popped. Flying.

Vaguely, he wondered where he was going. It didn't really matter. He hadn't told any of the Avengers where he was going, and with the suit offline, he couldn't be tracked. He was still fucked unless Loki had a change of heart or Hammer decided to drop Tony on top of Stark Tower. Neither really seemed that likely.

He'd terrified himself into a state where his head was dark and blank, and he actually fell into a shallow sleep or something like it until the plane went down to land. He had no idea how long it had been. The box was dark, and it wasn't because of a lack of air holes; wherever he was - probably the cargo bay - was dark too.

Tony's muscles were numb and aching from how long he'd spent in the same place. His head ached from panicking. But worst of all was the fear and that painful, tearing sensation that followed a betrayal.

Funny how Tony could actually place 'betrayal' as an emotion. Experience, maybe.

There was the rough jolt of wheels hitting the ground, and then after a short time, Tony and his box - they were well-acquainted now - were lifted out and put somewhere else. Something with wheels. A lot of noises, indistinguishable talking, beeping, mechanical noises, whatever, and then Tony's box was plonked down on the ground.

Nothing happened for some time. Tony was on concrete, he'd been able to tell that much, and the air was crisp and metallic.

Footsteps came towards him, then his box was pried open. Tony made sure his eyes were closed.

He could tell by the smell it was Hammer.

"Holt shit, that paralytic is powerful," Hammer muttered to herself. "Unless our dear Tony is faking it?"

A sharp pain shot across Tony's cheek. He barely flinched, and to his good fortune, the Iron Man stopped him from wriggling too much.

"You're a good liar, Tony," Hammer said. "Just in case..."

Tony then wished he'd worked harder to get away when a needle slid into his skin again.

_More of this fucking stuff._

"This paralytic came from Loki, you know," Hammer said conversationally. "Apparently he got a supply of it in Australia from someone who raised snakes."

 _Yes, because I actually do want to know more about Loki right now,_ Tony thought at maximum sarcasm.

"He's a strange bastard, but good at his job. And very clever," Hammer said.

As he vaguely registered chains being slung under his arms and around his back, Hammer said "The problem with kidnapping someone and stealing their work is that the more people you involve, the more likely it is that someone will alert the authorities, which isn't exactly what I'm after right now."

_Well, no shit._

"It's just you and me for now, Tony," Hammer said, clearly just talking to fill the still air. "Now, according to Loki's information, this version of the Iron Man can compress down to a suitcase."

Tony just lay there, trying to not think about everything that was happening and had happened. Hammer tinkered with his helmet, prying open seams to access the internal electronics. She spent a long time with what she described as a fine-detail camera, using it to document every part of the Iron Man suit.

"You know," Hammer said conversationally. "I wouldn't have had to take the suit if you hadn't increased your security so much. Loki said it was no longer possible to hack it at all."

_Loki suggested I do that._

_Loki helped me._

_Huh._

Hammer quickly found the seams of where the suit assembled itself and began unlocking as much as she could. She'd removed the suit over his legs entirely and put the folded pieces in a case - judging by her mutterings - when a crash was heard in the distance.

Hammer swore, the rustle of fabric suggesting she moved quickly. Very quickly. There was a click of briefcase locks, footsteps, a door closing, then nothing for a minute or two until a violent crash announced the arrival of something big.

"Tony!" A familiar voice called.

_Steve, thank fuck._

It wasn't just Steve, though; he could hear the Hulk grunting and Clint cursing.

A large figure leaned over him, gently nudging him. "Tony?" Steve said.

Obviously, he didn't react. Paralysis did that to people.

His pulse was checked and the Avengers assessed that he was unconscious.

A smaller figure leaned over Tony, and Natasha examined his injection sites. "He isn't unconscious. He's paralysed; I've seen Loki do this before. He can hear us."

"Really?" Clint said. "So that fucker did do this. I swear, when I get my hands on that guy..."

There were slight noises of movement that suggested a throttling gesture.

A strange noise suggested that Bruce was human again. And then there was another figure leaning worriedly over Tony.

"Let's get him home," someone said.

Tony agreed. He slipped into a real sleep while they were fussing over him; though he didn't know it, he'd been awake for the better part of a day, and the stress had completely exhausted him.

-O.O-

Tony woke up in his own bed in Stark Tower, a SHIELD doctor looking him over. He knew he wasn't injured, not physically at least, though whatever had been in that paralytic shit made him feel weak and groggy.

For the first time in a day and a half, Tony sat up, surprising the doctor.

"'M fine," Tony grunted. "Glass of water."

He saw one on the bedside table and gulped it down.

"Well, Mr Stark," the doctor said critically, unmoved by how Tony had pushed her aside in favour of water. "You seem to be in as good a health as we could hope for. Bed rest for a day or two, I think. And as we don't know what you were injected with, be sure to tell anyone if you feel unusual."

"Yep, thanks," Tony said distractedly. He'd just noticed he wasn't wearing anything and was subtly scouting for pants in an effort to distract himself from the reality of the situation.

_Loki's not here anymore._

He could go down to the lab now and Loki wouldn't be exploring, his eyes taking in new tech - _because he only wanted to learn about it so he could sell me out_ ­- and Dum-E would have to make new friends.

Loki wasn't going to be a blanket burrito or watch movies with him in the tiny hours.

He'd been around for three weeks and his betrayal had torn a huge hole in Tony's life already.

_You watched Mean Girls with someone who was thinking about the easiest way of handing you over to the enemy._

_Stop thinking about it._

He took a few deep breaths. Once the doctor had let herself out, Tony dragged himself to the shower and scrubbed himself clean mindlessly, got dressed, and headed downstairs.

The Avengers were all waiting for him, sitting around the living room in a mockery of relaxation. None of them looked even remotely calm.

They didn't say a word, waiting for Tony's reaction.

Tony didn't say a thing either, just went and sat down with his head in his hands.

No one really had anything to add to that.

After a lot of time, Steve tapped Tony on the shoulder and handed him a tumbler of scotch with big, chunky ice cubes that chilled the drink. Tony took it and swallowed the whole thing, the cold and slight searing taste exactly what he needed to come back to himself.

Tony was grateful, and also glad that for once Steve had condoned a good time to take a drink.

"So," Tony finally said. "I fucked up."

"It wasn't your fault," Natasha said. "You trusted him because I did."

"It isn't your fault, either, Nat," Clint said. "It's not anyone's fault but his."

More silence filled the room as they all thought about Loki.

Clint thought about the quick-handed marksman with a sense of humour.

Steve thought about that clever bastard that had steered them through Doom's attack on Hammer's facility.

Bruce thought about the potential science bro who'd made him smile by high-fiving Dum-E.

Nat thought about her friend who'd betrayed her.

And Tony tried to not think about it at all.

"SHIELD wants Loki because he knows too much about the Avengers. They need a report of what happened so they can find him," Steve said. "You wanna talk about it, Tony?"

Tony found, to his surprise, that he did. He wanted them to know how goddamn temperamental and noticeably upset Loki had been on the way to Urumqi. That asshole might've sold Tony out, but the more he thought about it, the more it seemed like Loki hadn't wanted to.

So Tony started from Loki telling him about how he'd been drowned in Afghanistan. Who'd done it. How he'd wanted revenge and so had Tony. How they'd planned to go and let Loki kick the Mandarin's ass. It hadn't been the best plan, now Tony thought about it.

He told them about how twitchy Loki had been on the flight. He refrained from telling them about the whole Loki's-cock-in-his-mouth thing; they really didn't need to know. But he did tell them how wistful Loki had been the next morning.

And he told them about how Loki had gotten the drop on him and handed him over to Hammer. She'd been horrible and he spared no details. He also mentioned M, because he was almost completely certain that that had been a pseudonym for the Mandarin.

Tony learned that they'd arrived at a warehouse on Loki's word, registered to Hammer after trying her San Diego and Seattle facilities. That had been their last resort, and they hadn't managed to catch Hammer. They had Tony's word and the fact that the warehouse was under Hammer's name as their only proof. It mightn't hold up in court.

They all processed what they'd heard. Natasha's face was so icily blank that Tony could tell she was upset.

Tony was less surprised than he thought he'd be that Loki had tipped them off. It didn't really make him less of a danger to the Avengers.

"You wanna do the honours?" Clint said hesitantly, holding out a piece of paper for Tony.

Tony was confused until he took it and realised it was a photo of Loki, taken from JARVIS's cameras. He accepted a couple of thumbtacks and moved towards the board.

The board was where pictures of all of the Avenger's enemies were pinned. Apart from the addition of a picture of Hammer, it hadn't changed recently. Clint used the pictures as dartboards occasionally.

Tony wasn't really sure why they had the board. It mostly served to piss them off, though on a few occasions it had reminded them about villains that hadn't made noises recently. Kept them on their toes. Now he was about to add Loki's face, because he knew a shittonne of secrets about the Avengers and their security and he was directly dangerous to them.

He pushed the pins into the cork, putting the picture of Loki at eye level. The picture had been taken while Loki was in Tony's lab, and the interest and genius in Loki's eyes hurt.

"We have a meeting with Fury," Clint told him. "You can skip it, if you like; I think we can handle the brief version of what happened."

Tony was grateful for the opportunity to get out, but he wanted to make sure Fury got the actual story and he definitely wanting to be handling the fallout from this at ground zero. He wanted Hammer caught, and preferably by his own hands. And kicking Loki's ass would only be a bonus.

-O.O-

Fury threw a file down the table in Tony's direction. He picked it up; there was a picture of a younger Loki paperclipped to the front, accompanied by words stamped there:

**LOKI FEISON**   
**Lucas Laufeysson (Ymirsbarn)**

Tony could only really assume that the second line was Loki's actual name. He didn't really get the bit in brackets; it didn't even look like a word.

He studied the picture closely to avoid looking at anyone. Loki wasn't actually younger, per se, but he seemed more impish and there was a smirk teasing at the corners of his mouth even as he tried to take a serious photo. Pre-Afghanistan, then.

After telling Fury most of the story, Fury said they shouldn't have trusted an immoral mercenary, no matter their personal connections with him. Then he threw the file to Tony.

Fury was asking the others about their experiences with Loki, so Tony seized the opportunity to leaf through it.

**Mother: Nal Laufeysson (deceased)**   
**Father: Farbauti Ymirsbarn**   
**NB: Farbauti Ymirsbarn currently institutionalised in the psychiatric ward of Bethlem Royal Hospital for the rape and murder of Nal Laufeysson while mentally unfit to stand trial.**

Tony was surprised, to say the least.

**Adopted by Odin Burison and Frigga Burison.**

Tony knew that name. He snuck out his phone and Googled it.

Loki had been adopted by the goddamn ex-Prime Minister of Britain?

Well. That explained why Loki had said his step-father was famous.

There was so much he didn't know about Loki. Maybe it was better if he just tried to forget ever even liking him. It would definitely lead to more long-term stability, no matter how much it hurt.

He tuned all thoughts of a flushed face crying out in pleasure out and paid attention to what Fury was saying, trying to regard Loki as just another pain in the ass villain.

-O.O-

Tony couldn't sleep that night. He'd been fighting it off all day, the trauma of his trip in paralysis. But when everyone stopped asking him if he was okay and he went to bed, he curled up in a tiny ball, trying to fight off the short, panicked breaths.

_You're doing it wrong, kid. Don't fight the heavy breathing. Deep breaths. Getting it caught in your throat makes you feel worse. C'mon, copy me._

"Oh, fuck _off,"_ Tony snarled at his subconscious, trying not to cry.


	25. Parallels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Tony are apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late. Exams, horse-related drama, personal drama, other excuses. Whatever.
> 
> And then I was going to be lazy and just post a short chapter but that chapter count's getting awful long without the second big plot point starting yet.
> 
> But you get some important Loki POV stuff! Enjoy.

Loki slept even worse than usual. Adding more guilt to the usual myriad of negative memories and emotions that kept him up hadn't helped, for some reason.

Neglecting to drag himself out of bed to join Thor and Jane for dinner - he had some fairly serious jetlag, they'd understand - he just lay there, semi-conscious, too many thoughts in his head.

Eventually, he gave up on the soft bed - there were three bedrooms, the master, the soon-to-be-used nursery and the guest room - and dragged himself out of bed around 4am.

Not wanting to wake anyone, he rummaged through the bookcase in the room, but unfortunately, it was largely books that they hadn't been interested enough in to put in the main rooms or the master bedroom. Loki ended up with a botany guide.

It took him three quarters of an hour to give up on that.

Then he changed into exercise clothes and did his stretches, trying to strengthen his wrecked and atrophied abdominal muscles. It hurt, but he needed to do it.

The room wasn't overly large, so Loki couldn't exercise too much. If it had been daylight, he might've gone outside, but he didn't overly trust London at night, even with his skill set. Plus the security cameras.

It was more the pain than the exertion that had a little bit of sweat on his forehead. And he hadn't showered after the day of flying, after what he did in Mandarin City - _don't think about it_ \- and after having sex with Tony. Actually, he was goddamn filthy. He used to be such a clean freak before the hydrophobia.

Shower time.

Shower. Time.

"You can do this," Loki muttered to himself. "Hydrophobia is for headcases."

It took him about ten minutes of working through memories and breathing deeply before he headed for the ensuite bathroom and reluctantly stripped off.

He tilted the shower head so the water wouldn't cover his face, then turned it on and let it heat up.

Water running.

_\- "Tell us!" A heavily accented voice screams._

_You don't have any words left. None of them would work anyway-_

Loki took several deep breaths. Wondering if anyone had invented a better way of cleaning off, he stepped under the hot water.

_\- You keep a diary the first few days, but you quickly realise there's no point, because odds are you'll be dead when they realise you don't know anything-_

_Focus on the soap, Feison._

He cleaned himself as quickly as possible, then dived out of the shower without getting his hair or face wet.

_\- You're starting to think that being tortured is better than being thirsty. At least with the torture, you can try and drink whatever water you don't inhale and choke on-_

His skin went pink with how hard he rubbed it to get dry. Then he hunted down his shampoo and washed his hair in the sink, rubbing that dry viciously too. Finally, he used tissues to clear off the remains of his makeup, then rubbed his face clean with his damp towel. He hadn't submerged his face. Fantastic.

_\- Your eyes burn when they hit the water, but you don't know how to blink or do anything anymore -_

In Loki's opinion, the seizures had been the worst. Sure, he'd had the pleasure of being unconscious a lot of the time, but when he'd been awake, he'd been disorientated and permanently in pain, his body trying to give up. He couldn't even remember a lot of it; his memory of back then was blitzed, just a kaleidoscope of disjointed images. It was a period of a couple of days that he only remembered as a blur. Then he'd been picked up and stuffed into a manky van. Pain, blood, then he'd woken up in hospital from a two-day coma. He'd only survived because he'd been so dehydrated that he hadn't lost too much blood.

But the seizures had been the real torture.

Loki's goal of not thinking about Afghanistan had failed miserably, and he was just sitting on his bed in his underwear trying to not hyperventilate.

Botany. Botanical thoughts.

-O.O-

Once Thor was awake, Loki dressed himself tidily and left his room in search of breakfast.

"Ah, brother! You're awake," Thor smiled as Loki filed into the kitchen. "Do you feel better?"

"A little," Loki said. "What are you cooking me for breakfast?"

"Pop tarts or nothing," Thor told him, retrieving the toasted goods and putting them on a plate.

Loki made a face, which made Thor chuckle at him. "Where I last was, I had a full breakfast cooked for me every day," Loki tutted.

"It's unlikely you'll get service like that around here," Thor said good-naturedly. "What are your plans for today?"

"It depends," Loki said thoughtfully, rummaging in the refrigerator for something to eat. He settled on yoghurt and muesli. "On your intentions."

"Because we aren't questionable spies, Jane and I both have work today," Thor said.

"Oh? What does she do?" Loki said. He already knew - astrophysics - but his intention was to keep the fact he'd had his eye on them a secret.

"She is a woman of science. I'm sure you'd find her work very interesting."

"Any explosions?" Loki said with an impish smile.

"Unfortunately, not yet," Thor said.

The effort Loki put in to look sociable and cheerful was wearying.

"Today, then, I plan to threaten the person who should be paying me, sell my soul and generally commit acts of evil," Loki said, affecting a joking tone.

Evidently, Thor didn't think he was serious, because he smiled, finished his Pop Tart and clapped Loki on the back.

"Behave yourself, Loki," Thor said fondly, dropping his plate in the kitchen sink.

"One more thing," Loki said. "Do not, under any circumstances, tell Frigga and Odin I am in the country."

"Well-" Thor began.

Loki narrowed his eyes. "You've already told them, haven't you?" When Thor looked slightly sheepish, he said "We're going to dinner with them, aren't we." Thor's facial expression tipped him off again. "Tonight, yes?"

"I am afraid so," Thor said.

Loki bared his teeth sharply in frustration; if he went outside, there were so many cameras that SHIELD could probably find him. He'd put himself at risk already. "Fantastic. Tell the whole country I'm here, why don't you."

"Your parents are hardly the whole country-"

"They're _not_ my parents!" Loki said sharply. Then he rubbed his face with his hand. "Add familial drama to my situation. Perfection."

-O.O-

Tony woke up that morning feeling horrible. It continued from there.

"JARVIS," he said, lying in bed. "Am I dead yet?"

"No, sir," JARVIS replied.

"Damn it," Tony said. With that, he rolled out of bed with a groan.

He needed to reclaim the legs from the Iron Man suit. He needed to do something that looked like good PR for Iron Man. He needed breakfast.

Before that, though, he needed exercise. Clear the head with the new miracle treadmill!

After breakfast, the SHIELD meeting of yesterday was to resume. What joy.

When they were all assembled around the table, Natasha stood up. "We need to find Agent Feison before he has the opportunity to utilise his knowledge against us."

"You really think he will?" Bruce said. "He strikes me as the type to finish the job and never speak of it again."

Natasha shrugs. "Loki does what's best for Loki. I'd say he needed the money."

"But he could've just _asked_ for it," Tony growled.

Natasha raised a rather cynical eyebrow. "It always amazes me how people can be prideful and not recognise it in others."

"Point taken," Tony sighed.

"So what do we know?" Steve asked.

"We know he used his credit card at Urumqi International Airport," Natasha said. "His passport wasn't used, but that doesn't mean he didn't fly anywhere, and nothing that could be used to trace him has been activated since then."

"Intentionally?" Steve said.

"Without a doubt," Natasha said. "He's not stupid, and he's smuggled himself out of countries enough times to do it seamlessly. I'd know; I taught him."

Tony noticed then how extremely rigidly Natasha was holding her face. She was trying to hide how upset she was.

"So where would he go?" Clint said. "Disneyland? Happiest place on Earth."

"Home to England, maybe?" Bruce said.

"I wouldn't think so," Natasha said. "As I learned from his file, he has no available biological family members and he has a rocky relationship with his adopted ones."

"He could have friends, though," Steve said.

"I doubt it, but we can't rule it out," Natasha said. "SHIELD is running a face trace, but Loki knows they can do that, so odds are he won't be found until he wants to be."

"Fantastic," Tony said. "So you're saying we know nothing? I'll get back to work, then."

And with that, he stood up and left. He had work to do.

-O.O-

"Basically, Tony, she's always got the upper hand while the military is on her side," Pepper said over the phone.

"So my choices are: roll over and do a few tricks for the bureaucratic fuckwads, or lose this," Tony paraphrased.

"Pretty much," Pepper said. "It's on you, Tony."

Tony kicked a chair. Then he said "I'm not going to lose."

"Go somewhere with a padded floor before you roll over, then, I guess."

"Not helping."

"Honestly, there's nothing much I can do."

 _Really,_ Tony thought as he hung up and drafted a new design for the power supply of the Iron Man, _the only way I can win is push her out of the game completely._

Unfortunately, her foul play centred around the hacking and kidnapping, and his evidence for that was vague at best. In fact, he needed Loki to testify that it had even happened, and it didn't seem like the mercenary was going to come to his aid anytime soon.

Either way, he had work to do.

-O.O-

Loki stayed indoors all day, to keep safe. He sent Hammer a message on the phone she'd given him, telling her that he wanted his money promptly. Then he trawled the internet, in the absence of anything better to do.

As dinner drew nearer and nearer, he was formulating ways to head out into public without his face being caught by a security camera. He was in London, after all; there were security cameras absolutely everywhere and SHIELD had access to all of them.

He resolved to fuck it, and just keep his face down and covered as much as possible. Hammer had promised to pay him in the next few days, so he was planning to just wing it as soon as he had the money. Hopefully Thor wouldn't ask too many questions.

Thor and Jane both didn't get home until after five o'clock, when Loki was already starting to go stir-crazy. He hated doing nothing. As a child, he had been able to just mind his own business for days at a time, but his adult years of adventure had instilled a restlessness in him that wouldn't quit. He didn't even have any work to do; at least at Stark Tower he could keep chipping away at firewalls and dissecting Tony's blueprints.

Being bad was better than being bored.

And Loki was so very, very good at being bad.

He'd been considering, over the course of the day, taking action against Hammer once she'd paid him. He was still pissed at her-

_\- "You failed, Feison, as simple as that. I'm not going to pay you for not doing what I wanted," Hammer said boredly._

_"I failed through the incompetence of his people! It was not my fault," Loki snarled angrily._

_"But you still failed. Don't try and blame your own raw ineptitude on me"-_

-and once he had his money, he was a free agent. Literally.

It was sorely tempting.

But once Thor and Jane came home from their respective jobs, Loki tried to push his schemes out of his brain and focus on surviving an evening with Odin. Frigga was a kind woman and Loki did like her, but Odin? Oh, no. Not after how they'd parted.

Nevertheless, he was trying to keep Thor happy, so he tidied up his hair from the loose curls it had been in and dressed himself formally.

Jane was coming. That was good, because the Burisons had political instincts and didn't like to make drama outside of the blood. Maybe that was why there'd been so much drama when Loki had renounced them.

A short taxi ride later, and they were arriving at a very nice restaurant that Loki remembered from his childhood. He ducked his head as he followed Thor and Jane across the footpath and got indoors as quickly as possible.

Jane hadn't said much to him, quietly respecting his privacy. That had surprised him; maybe Thor had told her to leave him be.  
Loki looked around the surroundings, partitioned for privacy.

"This way, Loki," Thor said, gesturing after the waiter.

Loki nodded, keeping quiet as he wondered how much of a shitstorm he was about to step into.

"Mother! Father!" Thor said brightly as they approached the table.

"Hi," Jane said, peeking out from behind Thor with a smile.

"Hello, Frigga," Loki said, mustering as warm a smile as he could. Then he dropped that smile like hot shit. "Odin."

"Loki," Odin replied coldly. "Thor, Jane, take a seat."

"Luke," Frigga beamed. She actually got to her feet to hug him, and Loki uncomfortably hugged her back, wondering how unconditional love worked.

"It's good to see you too," Loki said, the honesty feeling odd. He took a seat on the opposite side of the table from Odin. "How are things?"

-O.O-

Tony was moping. He'd worked hard; he'd found that Hammer had disabled the tracking from his stolen suit legs. He'd also finished diving through all of Hammer's paperwork that allowed her to take over the War Machine program. She'd done it by the board, but people had reservations after her father's actions.

It wouldn't take much to blemish her reputation permanently.

But he was still moping, because he didn't have a good way to do that yet that wouldn't involve potentially getting himself in the shit too.

He had resolved to ask Natasha. She was full of plots, and she didn't want Hammer on the Avengers almost as much as Tony.

But when he approached her, she was sitting in her room. After he knocked, she let him in.

"Hey, Tony," she said dully from where she was sitting on the floor. Tony noted a few pieces of paper and a bottle of vodka next to her. "Come have a drink."

The only other time Natasha had offered him a drink was when Clint had been hospitalised. It was a personal gesture.

"My pleasure," Tony said, slumping on the ground next to her. She offered him the bottle, which he accepted gratefully, taking a decent drink of the burning liquor. "It's hurting you, too, huh?"

Natasha didn't answer. The fact that she was sitting on the floor drinking in front of him was enough of a show of vulnerability to confirm that.

"I have exactly three photos of him," Natasha told him, gesturing to the paper she had.

"Can I...?" Tony said, reaching out for them.

She nodded. "Go nuts."

Tony picked them up.

The first was the most stereotypically Russian picture he'd ever seen, but Natasha was in some respects a very stereotypical Russian. It featured her, Loki and another guy wrapped up in fur coats, looking fairly stern and serious in a tiny little apartment.

The second was the polar opposite - it was somewhere bright and colourful and Loki was smiling and taking a selfie of himself and Natasha. Loki was wearing a lot of beads and there was a purple feather in a buttonhole of his unbuttoned shirt.

"That was Mardi Gras," Natasha told him. "Loki loved it."

Tony grinned wryly. He could imagine that.

The last one a mugshot of younger Loki in the same apartment as the first one.

"That was to send to SHIELD, so they knew who I was working with," Natasha commented.

"Loki's a weird bastard," Tony commented idly, looking at the Mardi Gras one again. Natasha was clearly trying not to grin in the photo, he could tell. In real life she was grim-faced.

"You miss him, yeah?" Tony said.

"He betrayed us," Natasha said. "Not just you. All of us. I'm not sorry he's gone. I'm sorry he did it."

"You know what, Nat? So am I. I hope he is too, but I doubt it."

-O.O-

Dinner had started tense, but amiable. Loki talked to Frigga about life (in his case, heavily watered-down and altered) and to Jane about science and to Thor about politics. He mentioned his job sparingly to avoid questions. He intentionally didn't talk to Odin.

That worked well through entrees, through the main and halfway through desert.

Until Frigga asked Loki about his work at MI6, clearly giving up on the tense atmosphere.

"I quit," Loki said. "Several years ago."

"I did not think you would stick at it," Odin said.

"Oh, no, I'm still a spy. I just freelance. The money's better and there's no paperwork," Loki said airily.

"I'm proud at least one of my sons has a real job," Odin said mulishly.

"Bitterness doesn't go down well with my sundae, dear Odin," Loki said, picking at his ice cream as he kept his voice calm and light.

Chocolate sauce, bitches.

The air was tense again. Jane may not have been around when Loki and Odin had had their famous falling out, but no doubt Thor had told her. That was, told her about how Loki had taken a job at MI6 specifically against Odin's direct orders just to hand a bone to Odin's political enemy. Loki hadn't even been that interested, not when an acting career beckoned, but he'd been determined to stick it to Odin, and he'd succeeded. It was one of the reasons Odin had fully retired now, and Odin clearly hadn't forgotten.

Loki sighed slightly. This was why he didn't come home. In fact, it was why he didn't have many friends. Resentments, once formed, died hard. And Loki was the type to provoke resentments.

 _Fuck it. I'm not staying here any longer than I have to. Family drama and domesticity is killing me,_ Loki thought tetchily. Hammer would pay him, and he could vanish into the world for another half dozen years without explaining himself to anyone. Hopefully.


	26. The best for me and myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's always something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for this being late and I'm sorry for not replying to comments and I'm sorry for existing  
> Exams are killing me but I managed to do write

As soon as the bill was paid, Loki was half-hugging Frigga goodbye and making his escape.

He hated Odin; it wasn't even a secret anymore. It was tricky enough to be around Thor when he didn't like him much; being around Odin was just painful. Frigga was a pleasure, but unfortunately, her and Odin tended to come as a pair.

Thor and Jane followed Loki back into a taxi, quickly hailed, and they set off for home.

When they made it in the door, Loki politely thanked Thor and Jane for the meal and company and vanished upstairs, lingering just long enough to hear Jane say "Your brother is an weird kinda guy."

Well. Not inaccurate.

In the confines of his room, Loki fired up his laptop and immediately went onto American news websites, looking for information on Tony Stark and Justine Hammer.

Nothing especially new on Tony, which was worrying, but Hammer was mostly headlining as the face of American warfare.

That didn't especially satisfy Loki's curiosity; he wanted to know about Tony. So he accessed JARVIS - he'd left himself a backdoor in JARVIS's protocols, as much as it pained him to compromise such a brilliant piece of technology - and searched records of comings and goings. Tony had returned home, in a fairly good state of health, barring exhaustion and stress.

Loki breathed an unashamed sigh of relief. His double-cross had worked, and hopefully Hammer wouldn't figure it out.

He hoped that Hammer would pay him in the next day or two so he could get on the move before SHIELD caught him.

Despite her inherent dishonesty, Loki didn't think that Hammer wouldn't pay him. Loki knew way too much about what she'd been up to, and she had to know that he'd keep records of every little interaction they'd had, up to and including his hacking of Tony's files and sending them to her. It was in their contract that if he fulfilled his end of the deal, then she'd pay him, and he wouldn't tell anyone, give anyone any information about the whole affair, or act against her. Standard issue espionage contract. And he was planning to honour it; he knew the alternative was assassination, and he wasn't in good enough health to run from that.

She wouldn't kill him unless she had to, either, because she knew he was smart and quick and betraying him just meant he'd betray her faster. It was a fine balance.

That said, the contract had little loopholes, and he'd thought of every single one shortly before agreeing to it. He had the advantage; whether or not he used it was a different matter.

Either way, Loki wanted to be well-rested, so he popped a couple of his sleeping pills from Urumqi and promptly tried to get some sleep.

-O.O-

Tony woke up with a hangover. It felt surprisingly good.

Not physically good, because his head felt like someone had taken an axe to it, but in a weird Pavlov-style way that _you got drunk so you must've had fun last night._

No dice. Actually, he'd gotten tipsy with Natasha, and then he'd left her in peace so he could get shit-faced alone in his penthouse. He had been in that kind of mood.

Today, he was making himself presentable, then heading to New York University to smile and encourage their students. He wasn't sure if it was engineering students or business students or art students or whatever other kind of student. They probably needed encouragement from Tony Stark. His reputation certainly did.

What he needed was Loki, or at least his information. But not only was the merc not stupid enough to come back, he was also much too experienced to leave his computer system unguarded enough for Tony to steal anything.

But he had a different idea. Getting up and making himself a smoothie before anyone else was on the go, he got JARVIS to check his flight plan to Nevada.

Then he got in the Iron Man and started flying.

-O.O-

Loki was awake when Hammer's phone vibrating on his bedside table. It was still dark out, but the sleeping pills gave him nightmares.

He picked it up.

_Transferred. Check email. Throw phone out after confirmation._

Ah, good.

He rolled over and unplugged his laptop, turning it on.

Loki's bank account was a curious thing. After his second freelance job, in which he was getting paid a surprising amount of money, he'd realised he needed a more secretive and less curious bank. So his bank wasn't exactly the legal kind, but it was the really reliable kind.

Unfortunately, his bank balance had been pretty much naught for the better part of six months. The assholes that had captured him had extorted every penny. Like he could stop himself from telling them his security details when his body was seizing.

Then the debt from medical treatment, plane tickets and all that etcetra. Things had been dire. The bank had threatened some serious stuff.

This job was changing all that. Five million under his belt for three weeks' work. Not half bad, even if he had had a moral crisis somewhere in the middle.

Morality was for the weak and for the heroes.

A quick visit to an obscure web page followed by a confidential login confirmed what Hammer had said. Money for him.

The tiny knot of concern in his chest that thought she wouldn't pay him dissolved, leaving him free to make his plans.

-O.O-

Tony was on his way to Nevada. More exactly, he was on his way back to Nevada, because that was where Hammer had taken him after she'd captured him in Mandarin City. He wanted another look-over of the warehouse.

On the way, he looked over the records. The warehouse had previously been abandoned, until Hammer had snapped it up. It had a small runway and two other buildings apart from the warehouse. He wanted to see what he could do from there. There had to be some evidence that Hammer used it, and that was a step towards proving she'd kidnapped him.

He also had the small amount of footage from just before Loki had shut down the Iron Man; it didn't have Hammer in it, but it did at least prove the whole thing had happened.

Tony was beginning to seriously consider implanting something that could track his location and maybe vitals. If he got clever, he could amp it up to recording speech or something.

Maya Hansen worked on that kind of stuff. He'd have to get in touch with her.

As he soared around the empty warehouse, he told JARVIS to scan it. No one was onsite, there was no major technology running, and the warehouses seemed largely empty.

Nevertheless, he didn't trust Hammer at all, so he was very cautious.

As far as he could tell, no one had been there since the Avengers had rescued him. The door was still forced open and Tony slowly made his way in.

When he a few metres in and looking around measuringly, JARVIS alerted him: "Sir, you have tripped a laser sensor."

"Shit!" Tony gasped, turning to make his way out of the warehouse.

"Sir, I would advise you to leave very quickly," JARVIS said, sounding about as panicked as he could.

Tony activated his repulsors, just as an ear-shattering explosion threw him forwards and out of the building. The suit protected him from the blast, but he could see when the smoke cleared that the inside of the warehouse was gutted.

_Son of a bitch. Hammer's smart._

A quick scan revealed that the warehouse was gutted and not reparable.

He searched the other two buildings, but they didn't look like they'd ever been used.

The runway was fairly empty, but Tony picked up a cigarette butt, a receipt and a splat of oil. Maybe he could age them, but it didn't seem likely.

The whole expedition had been fairly unsuccessful. He decided to head home.

It was as he took to the air that he got a phone call from a blocked number. With a feeling of foreboding, he answered.

"Tony, that was terribly rude," Hammer's voice said, mock-upset.

"Why are you doing this?" Tony said.

"Why are you doing this?" Hammer countered. "I've got camera footage here of you in your Iron Man suit just walking into one of my warehouses and blowing it up."

"Bitch," Tony breathed. "You set me up."

"I didn't do a thing," Hammer said. "In fact, it looked like you did a thing, and I'm hurt. We're having issues, I know, but you don't need to get violent."

Tony understood what she was doing. She was trying to take him down, and he'd just unwittingly handed her a new piece of evidence. And he couldn't even use this phone call against her, because she wasn't admitting anything.

"I'm going to get you for this," Tony told her firmly.

"For not letting you walk all over the American people?" Hammer tutted. Then she hung up.

"God, the smart villains are the worst," Tony sighed, taking off and heading for home.

He was dealing with everything on a minute to minute basis. He just needed to finish, to win no matter the cost, then he could think about Loki and fixing JARVIS and everything.

-O.O-

For the first time in what felt like forever, Loki wondered what he wanted. The last six months had been a scramble for survival. But now, he had plenty of money and a fake passport and he could do whatever he liked.

What did he actually want?

He thought back to times he'd genuinely been happy.

When he'd met Nat. Trained with her. Joked with her. And more, of course, but that was never going to be a repeat performance, and Loki knew that was for the best.

Those idyllic days in Turkey when he'd been tasked with stealing art. It had been a mental challenge, not a physical one, and that was the best.

A short amount of his time in Columbia had been nice.

He'd enjoyed Australia, just taking a holiday there.

Russia was his favourite country to live in so far. The bleakness of some areas suited him, though admittedly their anti-gay legislation could slow him down.

Nah. Banning something just led to an underground scene. Look at prohibition.

But despite his horrific injuries, he was still young and full of schemes, and on thought, he wasn't quite ready to completely retire.

Where was he going to go? Somewhere that wasn't The Country Of CCTV, because SHIELD was going to find him, and find him fast.

He was considering selling some of his information about SHIELD or the Avengers. Nothing dangerous, but enough to help repair his reputation as a man of many words.

The best place to go for anything dubious was Madripoor. The shining city with a criminal culture that was more prevalent than any other. Loki had been there twice, and he'd felt positively normal compared to everyone else. Odds were SHIELD wouldn't even be able to pick him out.

That was step one. But where from there?

If Loki was going to be completely honest with himself, the place where he'd been happiest recently was with one Tony Stark. Working with him in his lab, joking with him, being wrapped in his arms after that fantastic blowjob.

He hated admitting it, but of everyone he'd ever met, he thought that Tony was perhaps his favourite. Smart, witty, sexy, and there was just a something to him that Loki got along with.

But he'd burned that bridge. More than. In fact, metaphorically, he'd danced around the flames pouring petrol onto them.

Ugh. Despite his line of work, this was the first moral crisis he'd had for a long time.

Mind not quite made up, Loki started his morning exercises.

-O.O-

Loki left his room when he heard Thor bustling around.

"Good morning," Thor said as Loki nodded at him and slipped into the kitchen, looking for something to eat.

When he'd found himself muesli, Loki went and sat at the table with him. "Not at work today?" He asked.

"It's Saturday," Thor pointed out.

"I do lose track of time," Loki said. "Never fear, you won't have to put up with my droll company any longer. I've been paid and I'll be out of your hair very soon."

Thor put down his pop tart and looked at Loki seriously. "Where are you going?"

"Madripoor, I think."

"I've never heard of it."

"It's an island just south-east of Singapore," Loki informed him. "It used to be a haven for pirates; now it's a haven for every other kind of moral degenerate."

"So you'll fit right in," Thor said dryly. "Luke-"

"Loki."

"Loki, you still haven't told me why you're here," Thor said. "Jane is out with her actress friend Darcy; now is the time for you to tell me."

"I pissed off some important people," Loki shrugged. "And I was out of money. I've yet to solve the former problem, but the latter is down for the count."

"Yes, you said, but who was so important that you've resorted to coming to me?" Thor said.

For all Loki might say he was, and for all he might act it occasionally, Thor was not and would never be dumb.

Loki realised the only way to end this conversation with Thor still being on his side was to tell something similar to the truth.

He let out a sigh - good to let Thor know what a pain in the ass he was being - and started to talk. "For a start, I quit MI6 six years ago when I met a expatriated spy named Natalia Romanova. You may have heard of her - she's otherwise known as the Black Widow."

Thor couldn't hide his look of surprise. "From the Avengers?"

"Yes."

"Is it her you annoyed?"

"Not directly," Loki replied. "Though it does lead on to who I annoyed."

"Stop waffling," Thor said.

"Anyway, I've had a fairly successful career since then. I've even caught myself a pseudonym - Silvertongue - not that it's widely used, considering the connotations that come from a name like 'Loki' anyway," Loki said. "By successful, dear brother, I'm talking _millions._ And Odin said my tricks would never get me anywhere."

"I think he was referring to your uncanny ability to make your way into the bed of your choosing."

"That's been useful too," Loki said with a wry grin. "Anyway, around seven or eight months ago - my memory is a little fractured - I took a job."

"You have a perfect memory," Thor said questioningly.

"Honestly, it's been shaky for some time now. I can't remember your girlfriend's name in high school, and I slept with her," Loki said honestly, biting his lip.

"You did _what_ with Sif?" Thor said in disbelief.

"Let bygones be bygones. Sif, that was her name," Loki said, grinning mischieviously.

"You're terrible."

"I'm clever," Loki corrected. "And immoral. Anyway, I accepted this one job. It looked easy, in all honesty. I was delivering a message to someone who wasn't easily accesible. It should have taken me a week. It really didn't."

Loki was determined to skip over the next bit, not wanting to appear vulnerable or gain sympathy. He was weakening himself enough just by explaining it.

"Skipping the finer details, around three weeks later I woke up from a coma and was in quite the state. Death's door for some time," he forced his tone to be light, casual. "I had no money, no health and no one to call. It took me a long time to recover enough to even make my way out of Iran."

"Why didn't you call me?" Thor asked, slightly accusingly.

"Oh, Odin would have _loved_ that. Come help me, big strong man!" Loki said bitterly. "By the time I was in good enough health - just under a month ago - I started renegotiating my contract with my employer. You may have seen her - Justine Hammer, creator of Detroit Steel?" Loki said.

"You know some important people."

"Indeed I do. You don't know the best of it yet. Anyway, apparently it was all my fault that her contact's men had fucked up royally and she refused to pay me. She's a horrible person, by the way. However, we did negotiate me doing some more work for her - a little industrial espionage. By a remarkable coincidence, I had just been offered work as Tony Stark's driver and bodyguard, and it was the perfect opportunity. I didn't think it would be any issue," Loki said. "But firstly, my Russian friend Natalia lives with Stark, as they're both Avengers."

Thor seemed shocked by the high-profile mess Loki had thrown himself into.

Loki explained everything, his espionage, how he'd subtly tried to help Tony, how that had led to new orders to subconsciously convince Tony to go to Mandarin City. It hadn't taken much; everything Loki had told him in that regard was true.

Fuck the Ten Rings. A horde of incompetent thugs.

Loki kept an icily straight face as he recounted the story, then he finished with "And now I've been paid, I'm not certain where to go next."

Thor pondered the story for a moment, before finally saying "I've never seen you in love, brother."

Loki sneered. "I'm not in love with anyone."

"You spoke of Tony Stark as though he was your sun and moon," Thor told him.

"I liked him. I've liked a few people I've eventually screwed over; I forget it rather quickly."

"Not him, I can tell," Thor said.

Loki wasn't entirely sure how Thor had picked up on it, but affection wasn't an emotion he'd ever really displayed around Thor, so maybe its presence, however slight, was noticeable.

"It doesn't matter," Loki seethed. "I can't return there. I'd be shot on sight."

"You're telling me that my brother, renowned genius, professional spy, cannot think of one single way to apologise to someone?" Thor said.

He was goading him, Loki knew, but it was working.

"I'm sure, I could, but-"

"But what?" Thor interrupted. "If he made you happy, then you and he both deserve better than you _running away."_

"I'm not running away!" Loki snapped.

"Prove it."

Loki took a deep breath. "I'm not running away from anything, because there's nothing to run away from."

"You are a person of constant dissatisfaction, brother," Thor growled. "If you have finally found someone who makes you happy, then I think you should not hold back in pursuing them. Even if they do happen to be Iron Man, which I find a little unbelievable. Especially so, because if anyone could handle you, it would be someone like him."

As much as Loki wanted to sit in a state of denial, he also knew that Thor was right. There had to be something. Not just swooping in with a bouquet and a Hallmark card.

Something _big._

And he could have what he wanted.


	27. Conviction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki becomes certain of his purpose, and the Avengers hunt.

Following their heart-to-heart, Loki actually had a serious conversation with Thor about his wedding, his plans, and his career. It felt odd, because he hadn't spoken with Thor for years and now here they were reacquianting with a surprising amount of affection.

Thor wasn't so bad, Loki decided, now that he'd grown up a bit. Though admittedly he was a little slow on the uptake.

Loki didn't reveal much about himself; it was complicated, and besides, he'd already told Thor too much, especially in one session.

After that, Loki retrieved his laptop from his room to book plane tickets. Thor was working on his own computer, so there was a surprisingly companionable silence hanging between them.

There were only two tickets left on a flight to Singapore that was leaving tomorrow, and it was very expensive, but Loki had millions. He coughed up. Then he booked another flight on to Madripoor. He only had to stay with Thor one more night, then he could keep moving.

The peace and quiet was rudely interrupted by the arrival of Jane and her friend, who apparently was very vocal and proud of it. She was talking to Jane about navy coats versus black ones when she entered the room; this conversation ended abruptly when she saw she had extra company.

"Hey Thor," the woman said in passing, her eyes sliding past him to his brother. "So you're the crazy guy Loki that Jane's just been telling me about."

"I didn't say he was crazy, Darcy-" Jane cut in.

"I was kind of excited, because hey, more smiley handsome man meat, but you don't look like him for _shit,"_  Darcy continued.

She was going to be blunt? Loki could be blunter. He got to his feet, a slight flicker of surprise heading across Darcy's face when she realised how tall he was.

"I don't look like Thor because I'm not his brother," Loki began in a deadpan. "I was adopted. My birth father raped and murdered my mother and tried to set me on fire. You must be Darcy."

Gods, Loki didn't like to talk about it, but Thor already at least halfway knew and Loki really did enjoy the shock value.

"Touche," Darcy responded. "Darcy Lewis at your service, Flame Princess."

Okay, Loki was pretty sure he liked her, and that was saying something, because he was in a misanthropic state of mind.

"Good to see you, Darcy. Why are you in England?" Thor asked.

"Eh, I just wanted a holiday. Also I wanted to see my beloved Janey," Darcy said distractedly, turning back to Loki. "You're much creepier than Thor."

"Thank you, I try," Loki said dryly.

Jane sighed. "I should've known you two would hit it off."

"One weird meets another," Darcy agreed with an innocent smile.

"If it's any weight off your shoulders, Jane, I'm leaving tomorrow," Loki informed her.

"Oh," Jane said, and Loki was certain she'd barely refrained herself from saying good. "Where are you going?"

"Madripoor. I have business to conduct," Loki answered.

"That's the place with all the pirates, right?" Darcy asked. "I used to love pirates."

"Yes, but it teems with every other kind of criminal now," Loki said. "If you'll all excuse me, I have a few plans to make."

And with that, he vanished back to his bedroom.

Loki was a planner. He sucked at long-term; even now he had no idea what he'd be doing in three months, and he really struggled to even visualise it. But short term? Plans within plans to get him where he wanted to go? That was Loki's area, and fuck the consequences.

In this instance, Loki was pooling everything he knew and could do, then thinking of his desired result, and working to build a plan around that.

Loki's desired result was Hammer discredited, some form of apology given to Tony, and for him to keep the money he'd received from Hammer. It just wouldn't do for him to become a pauper again.

His main limitation was his contract with Hammer. He couldn't act directly against her and he couldn't tell people about it. But he could get around that easily enough.

The plan was already beginning to coalesce, and Loki was proud of that.

He just needed an hour or two to flesh out the details.

-O.O-

Loki managed to stay holed up in his room throughout the middle of the day, organising himself for the next few days. To his surprise, he was actually  _excited,_  savouring a clever plan and all rewards that would come from it being well-executed.

He was enjoying the peace and quiet, reading and considering taking a nap, when Thor knocked.

"Brother, Darcy is returning in half an hour or so with Chinese. After that we are going for a drink. You're welcome to join us," he said.

"I'll bear it in mind," Loki replied through the door.

No, he wasn't going to go. The risk was too great - if SHIELD finally found him, they'd have more than enough time to catch him before his flight the next morning. Never mind exactly how much he really didn't want to spend any extra time with Jane or Thor. Darcy was passable.

However, he was going to have dinner. He had to keep his strength up, and so when Thor called him from the dining room, he headed down their and sat off to the side with a little carton of chicken fried rice.

Jane made a point of talking to Darcy and Thor only, but it was only so long they could avoid talking to him, what with Darcy's interest, so soon he was interrupted by Darcy poking him in the arm with a chopstick.

"So Thor said you're a spy?" Darcy said.

Loki nodded. "I was, at least. I was at MI6 until I quit."

"Why'd you quit?"

"Lots of paperwork, fuck all pay," Loki said shortly. "I work as a freelancer now."

"Oh, cool," Darcy said eagerly. "If you're a big-shot spook, then why are you here?"

"A few things have gone wrong recently," Loki replied. "I'm leaving tomorrow to fix a few mistakes I've made."

"Dramatic," Darcy snorted. "If there's ever a movie, I'll play your sultry love interest."

"My sultry love interest is actually male," Loki told her amusedly. "But I'll keep that in mind."

"The good ones are always gay," Darcy sighed theatrically.

"I'm not gay and I'm most certain not one of the good ones," Loki said. "If you can convince a studio to pick it up, I'd be happy to play myself in _Loki Feison: A Bastard's Tale."_

"Wait, Thor said you went to acting school," Darcy said. "Then we have a plan."

"I'll contact you if my plans go awry," Loki said wryly.

He liked her. She had a smart mouth. Unfortunately, his objective wasn't to make friends; it was to get out of the country.

Loki excused himself after finishing his dinner, heading back to his room.

In another life - half a year ago - Loki would've spent a lot more time talking to Darcy and would probably have ended up with her in his bed by the end of the night. But he was focused now; he'd made his mind up and he wanted to have Tony. No doubt sleeping with Darcy would really annoy Thor, too. A pity to miss such an opportunity, but he had priorities.

Loki smirked to himself. Tony was making a slightly more honest man out of him and he wasn't even _there._

-O.O-

Loki got up fairly early in the morning, stuffing all his belongings into his beloved backpack and tidying his room. He was leaving in an hour.

He ate breakfast and watched TV news alone. There was a press conference with Tony on one of the channels; Loki watched it, inspecting Tony's face.

He needed to work quickly. Tony was just subtly heading towards the breaking point. The amount of information he had could turn that around.

Loki registered footsteps behind him. Heavy, slow. Thor.

"That's him," Thor said.

"Yes," Loki replied idly. "I can help him."

"Then do."

He had a good point. Loki, for once in his life, was determined to do the right thing.

Thor hugged him when Loki left and wished him luck. Jane smiled and waved, at least, but bloody hell, she clearly didn't like him much.

He had a plane to catch.

-O.O-

Tony had been at a press conference that morning about Iron Man. People had been calling for new information - and in the absence of it, been making their own - so it had been sorely due. Unfortunately, as was perhaps predictable, he'd been bombarded with questions about Detroit Steel and patriotism.

_"Mr Stark! What do you have to say to rumours that you're stepping down from the Avengers in favour of Detroit Steel?"_

_"Mr Stark! Is it true you're no longer working with the US government?"_

_"Tony! Are you aware that Justine Hammer has issued a statement claiming you're on good terms? What do you have to say to that?"_

What a nightmare. He'd told the truth, but apparently, that wasn't what people were interested in. Except in the case of the last one, because well, his honesty would've had to be censored heavily.

So he'd spent the day repairing the Iron Man and working on tracking the parts of the suit that Hammer had stolen. Then he'd spent the evening conferencing with Pepper and a few big names from Stark Enterprises about their next move. He'd hit the gym late at night, then gone to sleep, only to wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares about small boxes and paralysis.

He was woken up in the very early morning by JARVIS ordering him to the main Avengers meeting room. Suddenly wide awake, he got into the Iron Man undersuit and moved as quickly as possible.

Natasha was at the head of the table, looking perfectly awake and battle-ready.

"We have Loki," she said. "The SHIELD Face Trace caught him in Heathrow, boarding a flight to Singapore."

"So he was in London," Steve said. "Why Singapore?"

"He isn't going to Singapore," Natasha replied. "We managed to match the security footage with when his passport was used. It's fake - from that we know that he's flying on to Madripoor."

"Get your gear," Clint added. "We've got one of the Avengers' enemies to intercept."

Tony didn't say a word, just retrieved the Iron Man suit and a few other things.

_We're gonna catch him._


	28. Liars and thieves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry holidays. I wrote this in just a day because enthusiasm.

Loki's visit to Madripoor was something of a pitstop. He knew where he was going next, but he needed information, a message sent out, and a new gun. Then he was flying on to Latveria and on to California.

To block the Face Trace - and he knew he'd fucked up in Heathrow - he'd taken to wearing a black stetson, which, while peculiar, was nothing in comparison to the seething bizarrity of the streets of Madripoor.

His first stop was at an auction house, where he knew a contact of his was bidding. Loki's blood had run cold for a split second when Tony had mentioned that he knew Whitney Frost, but it could work to his advantage. Madame Masque - as she was now known - was notoriously viciously unstable. Hopefully she was in a pro-villain, anti-Avenger mood.

Loki recognised her thick mane of black hair as he entered the auction house. He stayed up the back, watching her carefully. Eventually she won what she wanted and went to collect it. Loki followed her into a back room.

"Masque," Loki said when it was just her, him and two of her lackeys. They were standing facing each other.

"Feison," she replied.

"I need you to do a job for me," Loki said.

"I'd be insulted if you were here for anything less," she replied steadily. "What's in it for me?"

"I'm working against Tony Stark," Loki said, his face blankly hiding the lie. "I assumed, given your tumultuous history, that you might be interested in such a plan."

"Why Tony?" Masque said.

"I was working for him. He stiffed me," Loki said. "It's not important why, particularly. What is important is the message you will be delivering, and what I'll give you in exchange. I also need a firearm and ammunition; I'll pay for those."

"I'm listening," Masque said, unreadable behind her distinctive gold mask.

-O.O-

Oddly enough, she could have all of that done for him within twelve hours, which was what Loki had hoped. He'd already booked his flight to Latveria for tomorrow night, which had two connections and was yet another long haul; this gave him a full day to achieve his goals. Half of them were already sorted.

Unfortunately for Loki, the Avengers had been in Madripoor even longer than he had, and had formulated a plan to search for Loki. Tony was implementing a more precise and disguise-proof version of the face trace, while Clint and Natasha were utilising their knowledge of the city to spread out and look for him. Steve and Bruce were manning the defences back at home; they couldn't all leave base for what was really just a minor villain.

As they searched, Loki headed back to his hotel.

Natasha was tracking Loki by her knowledge of him as a person. He'd stick to inner city hotels, of course, to make whatever he was doing simpler. She made a mental list of the hotels Loki would pick in order of preference, then decided to visit the third one on the list first. The first one was too obvious, and picking the second one was a cliche. He'd pick the third.

He wouldn't use his own name, his stage name or the fake one on his passport. In fact, he'd likely pick a bland name, but not too bland. In other words, he'd be tricky to pin down even if she was right about the hotel.

She was blessed by some incredible luck; as she made her way there she spied Loki himself entering the hotel, his face partially obscured by a rather ridiculous hat.

 _I know you, Loki,_  she thought, quickening her walk ever so slightly. He made his way into a rather full elevator and hit a button; she couldn't see which one. But he saw her. His acid-green eyes met hers, and they widened with shock.

Instantly, she sprinted to the stairwell. She made it up to the next floor and watched who left the lift, and when Loki wasn't one of them, she moved swiftly up to the floor above.

After eleven floors, she was getting a little out of breath and Loki left the elevator. Her pistol in hand, she made sure that she cocked it very loudly.

Loki made eye contact with her, raising his empty hands. "Nat, I will not fight you."

"Good. Then you won't object to lying on your stomach with your hands on your back," Natasha replied. They both knew that if she wanted to shoot, Loki would be shot.

"No, I don't think so," Loki said. "Nat, I can explain."

"Is there a version of the story in which you don't betray Tony and I for money?" Natasha asked dryly. "Because I'd love to hear it."

"You don't quite understand everything that happened," Loki said.

"I'm not sure I need to," Natasha countered.

"Is everything alright here?" a rather scared-looking porter said.

Loki pursed his lips, then delivered a sharp spinning kick to the door next to him, cracking it in half. He swore sharply from the pain as he dashed through the door, vaulted over a messy bed and climbed out the open french door, Natasha hot on his tail.

On the tiny little balcony overlooking the city, Loki pondered his options, then made a slightly terrifying leap onto the fire escape a few metres away. How convenient.

Natasha was following him like the Terminator, but she'd holstered her gun, which was reassuring; she wasn't planning to shoot him.

Loki scrambled upwards, heading for the roof; the hotel wasn't too tall compared to others in the area, but it was still another ten floors and he wasn't at full fitness.

"Loki!" Natasha called. "Give in. You won't outrun me."

"I don't want to be arrested," Loki breathed, not even sure if she could hear him. The upwards effort was making the scar on his abdomen burn. Making sure he was louder, he shouted "Leave me alone!"

Natasha didn't bother to dignify that with an answer.

"I'm trying to fix this," Loki snapped down at her, too out of breath to explain himself.

When he reached the roof, Natasha was right behind him.

"Fuck it, Nat," Loki snarled. "I'm trying to fix this!"

"Liesmith," Natasha spat, unusual venom in her voice.

Loki pushed off the edge of the building, falling two stories and landing on the roof of another building. He mistimed his shock-absorbing roll, wrenching his shoulder painfully. Biting back a yelp, he tried to get up, then crumpled again from a splintering pain across his scar. Then Natasha landed behind him and grabbed him by the ankle as he tried to crawl away. The Widow's Bite cuff activated, shocking Loki, and he screamed in pain and finally gave up.

"Do you yield?" Natasha said coolly, crouching next to him.

 _"Gods,_  yes," Loki muttered, rolling onto his back. A little bit of blood dribbled from the corner of his mouth; he'd bitten his tongue. "You're a bitch, Nat."

"Don't be bitter," Natasha said. "Roll on your stomach and offer your hands. I'm taking you into SHIELD."

"Don't," Loki breathed out. "Please. I'm sincerely asking you; I'm trying to put things right."

"You'd be much more believable if you hadn't managed to deceive me for three weeks already," Natasha said coldly.

"And I'm sorry, but I was in a hell of a lot of trouble in a monetary sense-"

"Tony Stark is one of the richest men on Earth-"

"I wasn't about to ask him for money," Loki growled, managing to sit up.

"Don't inflict your woes on me," Natasha said. "It's simple. We're Avengers and you know too much. SHIELD wants you silenced."

"I don't like the sound of that," Loki said. "I'm not willing to come with you."

"It's not your choice," Natasha said. "Keep your missions out of the Avengers' backyard, and we won't have a problem."

"We're friends," Loki said.

"You betrayed me."

"And I'm trying to make that right! In fact, I was in the process of doing so when you assaulted me!"

"I'm doing my job."

"The taser was unnecessary," Loki growled.

"Then don't  _run,"_  Natasha said, raising her voice properly.

"I wanted to goddamn survive, and that doesn't seem to involve being thrown in a prison cell," Loki snapped.

"Loki-" Natasha began, but Loki steamrollered over her.

"If I am still alive, then my regrets are few!" Loki hissed, on a roll. "I've been through hell, I've experienced every nightmare imaginable and I can tell you that survival and persistance weigh far above anything like _friends_  or  _trust_  or _Tony fucking Stark!"_

"You think that I don't know what it's like to be unmade, Loki?" Natasha asked quietly.

"You have support. I work alone," Loki said coldly.

"You'd have support if you weren't so pathetically prideful," Natasha said.

Loki was about to snap back another retort, but took a deep breath instead. "I want to fix this. I have a plan, and if everything works out, everything will be over in a week. I can't make Tony accept my apology, but I can at least try."

"Tell me," Natasha said.

Loki did, outlying all his plans and ideas.

"What do you think?" he said when he finished.

"If it was nearly anyone else, I would tell you it was insane," Natasha admitted. "However, you're Loki Feison, one of the finest bullshit merchants I've had the misfortune to meet. It's plausible."

In a break from the tension, Natasha's phone started ringing. Without taking her eyes off Loki, she answered it.

"I'm fine," Natasha said. Her and Loki exchanged a rather weighted look. "No, I haven't seen Loki. I'm working on it."

With that, she ended the call. Then she rummaged in her belt and pulled out a tiny little syringe.

"This is a tracking chip inside a plasmic fluid," Natasha said. "Not especially precise, but I'm not letting you get away."

"Why do you have that in your day-to-day equipment?" Loki asked warily, scooting on his ass away from her.

"I have everything," Natasha said. "Hold still. This needs to be subcutaneous; if I miss and hit something important you could be horribly injured."

Loki bared his teeth, then offered an arm.

"Where are you planning to travel?" Natasha said as she aimed the tiny syringe.

"Latveria, then the US West Coast," Loki replied, then winced sharply as she jabbed him.

"If you're lying to me, Loki, then you'd better hide somewhere a lot more obscure than that."

"Natalia," Loki said seriously. "You may not trust my terrible personality, and rightly so, but I think we can both trust my libido; let me assure you that Tony Stark's mouth knows its way around the male body."

Natasha smiled, just a little. "You never change."

"I always change," Loki said dismissively.

"If you say so," Natasha said levelly. "I'm giving you one week before I hunt you down and feed you your entrails."

"You're too kind," Loki said. "I swear on the tattered remains of my integrity that I will not let you down."

"Good," Natasha said. She retrieved her phone, using it to scan his arm. When it beeped she nodded at him, kissed him on the cheek and walked away.

If Loki wasn't wrong, he'd just been given Natasha's blessing.

He tried to stand up, his shoulder and scar burning in pain and a wave of nausea hitting him. He spat out some bloody saliva, then lay back on the stinking asphalt for a minute. He needed to catch his breath; he was starting to feel like he was getting in over his head.


	29. Doomstadt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter count? Gasp. But yep, there's a limit to the number of chapters left. Considering a sequel. I'm not sure; I'm just really fond of Loki Feison.

Tony wasn't sure if he trusted Natasha.

The Avengers were all compromised when it came to Loki, even Bruce and Steve, who hadn't had too much to do with him. For every time they'd laughed or smiled with him, there was an inevitable split second they'd hesitate to act against him.

Except Natasha; she was undoubtedly different.

Tony was in over his head, obviously. Being somewhat infatuated with the guy was pretty much defying rule one of the _How To Not Be Compromised_ helpful leaflet.

Natasha wasn't infatuated. Loki had been a friend and an ally; however, he'd betrayed her - whether that spelled redemption or a quick neck breaking for Loki was debatable.

Tony didn't honestly know if Natasha would actually tell him exactly what she thought was going on. More worringly, he didn't know if she'd decide that optimum outcome outweighed keeping everyone in the loop.

Clint was a different story. He'd be bluntly honest unless lives or livelihoods were threatened. Natasha was sneakier, and to not mince words, less interested in the wellbeings of people so long as she reached the best solution.

It was part of what made them a good pair. Clint knew when to hold her back, and Natasha knew when to listen.

But Tony didn't trust Natasha alone with the task of finding and securing Loki.

He failed to find Loki via the Face Trace, but it had been a bit of a long shot. Odds were they'd only seen him at Heathrow because he'd wanted to be seen, for whatever reason.

Tony wasn't at all surprised when both Clint and Natasha didn't turn up anything.

Even if Natasha was lying, it was somewhat irrelavant, because either she didn't know where Loki was or she was working on something, both of which Tony couldn't really influence.

So meh. Tony was doing his job. He hadn't found anything.

The urgency to find Loki that he had possessed a few days ago had dulled to something numb; after all, succeeding in finding him probably wouldn't help anything, as much as he wanted answers. More than that, he wanted a goddamn drink, and he'd have one if he didn't know full well that if he fell into a bottle he wouldn't climb back out again.

He'd developed a new plan with Pepper and she had his back. She was bravely restructuring Stark Enterprises to finally completely shut down anything weapons-based and head more towards technology solutions, and they were considering cutting Iron Man loose from the image of SE just so it didn't lose too much.

Tony would have had no qualms about finally achieving that goal he'd set himself in Afghanistan - to stop with the weapons manufacturing - but the thing that had stopped him so far was the knowledge that taking a stand wouldn't _do_ anything, because someone else would take over and build bigger, crueller weapons, and Tony would have less control.

Hammer had that control. Therefore Hammer had money and political influence and a shittonne of weaponry. It really was a no-win - either Hammer dragged SE down and gained various things slowly or she gained a lot quickly.

At least if Tony took the latter option it was only him getting hurt, not a lot of people he cared about.

Maybe he could engage Detroit Steel in a fight to the death and go out fighting.

Tempting as it was, he was interrupted by Natasha and Clint arriving back.

"No Loki," Clint said bluntly, Natasha standing at his shoulder. "If we can't find him he won't want to be found. Keep the Face Trace up, we're wasting time here."

Natasha nodded, just slightly. "We're looking for one particular pigeon in all of Central Park; cameras will do it better."

Tony sat back for a moment. "Fuck'em. He betrayed us, he can stay the fuck out of our way."

He wished he actually had that attitude. In reality, he wanted to talk to Loki just _once._

The debate was settled by Fury telling them to get back to New York, because intel had come in suggesting that HYDRA agents were massing.

Oh joy.

-O.O-

Loki wasn't expecting any more interference from the Avengers after meeting Nat. She'd supported him - or at least claimed to, but he didn't think she was lying - and so she'd be helping, which would undoubtedly involve stopping the Avengers from stopping him.

Lovely.

Peeling himself off the roof, Loki assessed his injuries; his heel was sore and a little swollen from kicking the door in, but he could live with that. His shoulder ached, his tongue hurt and a pounding headache was setting in, not to mention how his scar was protesting everything heartily. He wondered what kind of state he'd been in after the week he'd been given. More chillingly, he wondered what Natasha would do to him if he failed.

He did like her rather a lot, but that didn't mean that he didn't fear and respect her.

Returning to his hotel was awkward because he'd actually broken one of their doors. That kind of bullshit wasn't irregular, but they did demand that he paid for it. Loki did using most of his remaining cash (excluding what he'd reserved for Masque) not wanting to use his card. He hoped nothing came up suddenly.

Then he took some assorted medications that included painkillers and sleeping pills and collapsed in bed, hoping he could sleep.

_-There are guns pointing at you from every direction and they're stealing your weapons and you don't speak their language but you can hear 'SHIELD' said repeatedly, and you call out in English and Russian and Spanish and your shaky French that you're not SHIELD-_

Loki startled awake again. Damn.

-O.O-

Loki's morning exercises were interrupted by a knock on the door that he'd been expecting. Putting his shirt back on and slipping a knife into his pants pocket, he peered out through the peephole. One man, one woman. He didn't stand a chance if it came to blows.

He opened the door and allowed them in.

"Feison?" the woman said.

"You know it," Loki said, applying his patented Charming Yet Oddly Toothy Grin. "Masque's?"

They didn't answer, just entered the room and closed the door behind him. Then she spoke again as she handed him a cheap plastic pack. "One handgun, small calibre. Ten clips of corresponding ammunition."

"Give me a moment," Loki said, looking through the bag. It was exactly what she'd said, but he checked the weapon was in working order and that the clips contained ammunition and not some kind of filler. All in order. Loki smiled at her again, though it wasn't met in kind. "And your money," Loki replied, handing over the sheaf of cash. The woman took it and it vanished into her clothing somewhere.

"Masque has sent your message," the man said.

"Tell her thank you," Loki said. "Is that all?"

They left without another word. The secret agent types were so stern.

-O.O-

Both Loki's and the Avengers' flights from Madripoor weren't notable, barring the fact that Tony discovered that Loki's fake passport had been used to buy a plane ticket with multiple connections that lead to Latveria. The only reason that Loki would be going to Latveria would be to talk to Doctor Doom, and really... there wasn't a whole lot of innocence in that action.

Tony turned off his tablet without bringing it up to the others. He needed to move on. He'd known the guy for three weeks and he'd personally engineered Tony's downfall, which by default made him a shithead. Moving on. From a guy who was intelligent and funny and wickedly attractive and cunning as anything. That was going to happen.

"Fuck it," Tony muttered, to curious looks from his associates. "Just thinking."

Natasha and Clint returned to their murmured discussion. Tony wondered if they were talking dirty or talking murder. Could be either.

Tony gritted his teeth and turned his tablet back on, switching to his emails and beginning to sign the forms Pepper wanted. He was letting Hammer win, but there wasn't a whole lot he could do without looking like the bad guy.

In the end, the main losses were some revenue for SE and a lot of Tony's reputation. The Avengers could probably resist letting Detroit Steel on the team. It wasn't like Tony hadn't been kicked into the dirt before.

-O.O-

Loki's first priority on arriving to the cramped and rather militaristic Latveria International Airport was to request contact with Doctor Doom; he didn't have a visa and the country was strict. He could almost feel the cameras watching him.

Instead of being put through customs (very few people were entering the country) Loki was put in what was essentially a holding cell. His message had been simple:

_Information on Justine Hammer regarding what she stole from you - Silvertongue._

Loki had never had any dealings with Doctor Doom before, but he was certain that his message was intriguing enough to win him five minutes of favour. Even if a lot of his assumptions had been wrong and Hammer hadn't stolen from Doom, it was probably still enough.

Seizing the opportunity, Loki changed into his carbon jumpsuit and hid some of his knives on his person. Just in case.

After an hour or two, Loki was collected by more guards and taken to an army van, then thrown in the back.

 _Clear display of power. Doom wants me to know that he has the proverbial biggest dick,_ Loki thought amusedly.

Then he wondered exactly how much of Doom was metal. There wasn't much else to do in the blacked-out van.

_Disorientation and intimidation. I wonder how many times Doom has done this._

At least he had his trusty backpack.

Eventually the van stopped and Loki was offloaded. He looked up at the enormous, ominous castle looming over him like a swollen spider. The fact that he felt the need to palm one of his knives meant that the intimidation was working.

Latveria was a depressing place. The castle was mounted on a tall, bleak rock, giving it a neat view of the dark countryside as the sun began to rise. The wind was fierce, and carried with it the odd smell of gunpowder, oil and decay.

It took Loki a moment to realise in the dark that he was looking at Doomstadt, the actual city. He was surprised by it; there were large, soaring buildings with intricate architecture that wouldn't have looked out of place in Paris, and the houses were stone and shingle, well-looked after. He'd been unashamedly expecting a shanty town.

Loki knew that Doom ruled with an iron fist, literally; this had led him to expect that his people lived in squalor. Huh.

Before he could do anything, Loki was led inside the castle itself. Turning on his internal compass, Loki tried to map the turns they made, but it was difficult; this was probably the most complicated building he'd ever been in.

Eventually they entered a large hall with a strip of rich green carpet leading to the other end, where Doom himself was sitting on a throne. For a cyborg with a metal face, he conveyed boredom perfectly.

The guards leading him forced Loki into a kneeling position; he didn't resist too much. He was trying to make a good first impression.

"Doctor Doom," Loki said, enunciating clearly. "Justine Hammer stole something from you; from your Doombots. Am I correct?"

Doom sat up and leaned forward. "What is your name _, Silvertongue?"_

"Loki Feison," Loki said. "You attacked Hammer's facility in San Diego very recently. That's how I know. I just left the employ of Justine Hammer and I have information for you."

"Why would you offer me this?" Doom asked.

"Because I loathe her and what she did to me," Loki said honestly. "Justine Hammer used what she took from you to create Detroit Steel, a Doombot-Iron Man hybrid, but with a little more firepower. I'm sure you've seen it on the news. Her first priority after finishing it will be to get her lover to destroy you to keep you quiet."

"Who is he?" Doom said.

"The Mandarin," Loki said. "Who, with his forces, is more than capable of destroying you, and you know it."

"I do not trust you, Loki Feison," Doom said.

"I wouldn't expect you to," Loki replied.

"Then why do you kneel before me?"

"I'm simply letting you know that I'm planning to attack Hammer's facility, invite the Avengers and try to turn it into a bloodbath," Loki said. It was a half-truth. "I don't need you there, admittedly; I can make do. I just thought you might like the opportunity." Loki said it so casually, despite his surroundings.

Unfortunately, owing to the whole metal face issue, Loki was struggling to read Doom, so instead of looking at him entreatingly, he decided to continue the facade of 'it doesn't really matter if you tag along' and got to his feet, brushing dust from his knees.

"If that's all?" he said lightly.

Doom got to his feet and paced slowly closer until they were only about a metre apart.

"Tell me more," he said.

 _Fuck_ yes.


	30. Denouement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but the next ones are important ones. Brace yourselves, or something. Whatever floats your boat.

"You know," Loki commented to Doom. "Being a supervillain seems like a lot of fun."

"I would not consider myself a supervillain," Doom replied.

"My apologies," Loki said. "SHIELD does regard you as such."

"I have my own interests and defend them as I must," Doom said.

"These are your police force, yes?" Loki said, gesturing at the enormous warehouse of Doombots they were surveying.

"Among other things. Humans are unreliable. Flesh is unreliable."

Loki unconsciously passed a hand over his scar. "It verily is."

Doom was working on a console, and after a minute or two of work the Doombots all stood at attention, their eyes lighting up.

"You didn't quite let me finish," Loki said. "The final factor in the equation of Justine Hammer is her intention to join the Avengers. Dispatching her now will weaken them."

"Do not oversell it, Silvertongue."

"I'm just saying," Loki said easily. He didn't actually know if Justine Hammer wanted in on the Avengers, but it was positive publicity and there was no certain way of disproving Loki's statement.

"My research has led me to distrust you," Doom said gravely.

Ignoring the slight jab of fear, Loki just smiled innocently. "In the end, it doesn't matter if I'm a liar or not. Most of what I said can easily be corroborated by any reputable news website. But you have my word that this is not a trap."

"And, of course, your word is reliable."

Oh, that was _sarcasm._

"I can get you the CCTV feeds for Hammer's compound," Loki said casually. "If that would help."

"It would," Doom said.

Loki retrieved his laptop and opened his link to Hammer's compound. He had all of her facilities at his easy access, as well as JARVIS; by extension, he also had the camera feed from the Iron Man suit on his computer, too. So long as he had internet, and oddly enough, the whole castle had open wifi.

For the ruler of a third-world country, Doom seemed to be living it up.

After he'd given access to the San Diego facility's cameras to Doom, Loki accessed JARVIS and located Tony in his lab, on the phone to Pepper. And at that ridiculous hour - it was just past 2 am in New York.

He looked tired, and Loki wanted to make him go to bed. Fall asleep on the couch in the lab with him, maybe.

It took Loki a moment or two to realise what they were talking about, and as he did, his sense of urgency quickened. Tony was preparing to lose a lot to help Stark Enterprises escape this.

 _This is my fault,_ Loki thought, surprised at his own guilt.

Loki typed a command in: <END CALL>

It had taken some work to make JARVIS obey simple commands like that one; the AI preferred verbal commands given on-site. It went against his basic principles to accept a command from an unauthorised someone in the middle of nowhere. But, true to form, the call ended.

<NO CALLS: PEPPER POTTS> Loki added, for good measure.

He and Doom were arriving at approximately 3 am, California time, which meant they were leaving Latveria by magical means at midday, Latveria time. Then Loki's planned debacle would happen for presumably a few hours. He just needed to stop Tony from doing anything official and destructive until he could topple Hammer within the next twelve hours. It felt very soon.

Regardless of how impending it was, Loki was fairly confident in his plan - even if it went somewhat wrong, he'd still achieve some basic goals. If he was killed, well, that would suck, but no doubt everyone would put on their rose-tinted glasses and he'd be forgiven posthumously.

What fun.

"I have duties to attend to," Doom said suddenly, breaking Loki out of his slightly nihilistic thoughts. "You will accompany me."

"Not that I don't enjoy the opportunity to learn from the best," Loki said dryly. "But why?"

"I would hardly trust you on your own in the halls of Doom," he replied.

"Fair enough," Loki said, finally turning off the feed of Tony trying to figure out why his call had ended. "It would be my honour."

"Again, Silvertongue, do not oversell it."

"Oh, I'm not pandering," Loki said innocently. "You're a king, and I'm somewhat lowly. I could learn something."

Despite his lack of facial expressions, Doom managed to look vaguely exasperated.

-O.O-

Justine had been trying to get more sleep, she really had. But with the baby kicking her in the bladder every five seconds, or so it seemed, she was always getting up and wandering around. Her back ached, her feet hurt, and she felt generally pretty horrible. A month and a half more of carrying her daughter around internally was going to be unpleasant.

M wasn't much help, but really, Justine had never expected him to be. In fact, he wanted nothing to do with her most of the time. He was a psychotic warlord who'd been driven more than a little insane by those bizarre rings he wielded, after all, but Justine felt a lot better about her life choices when he remembered she existed for a day or two and treated her like a goddess. It helped beat back the loneliness of single parenthood; after all, it was pretty hard to claim that she was actually in a relationship with M. He just seemed to speak to her when he wanted a touch of sanity in his life.

Such was the occasion now. He'd turned up out of the blue, completely alone and claiming to have been invited by her - though Justine never made any such invitation - and decided that he was living the domestic life. So he'd spent the afternoon wandering around in jeans and a t-shirt instead of his usual elaborate robes and had actually felt the baby kick and everything. Justine knew it wasn't going to last - it never did - but for the moment, the feeling of companionship wasn't one she was going to turn away.

Regardless of his severe lackings as a partner and future father, M had kept up with his side of the deal in the business sense - given her the financial start-up and contacts to drag Hammer Industries and her father's name out of the dust.

Justin himself did not approve, but agreed to keep her secrets anyway. It wasn't like he had much choice; his darling baby daughter was mixing with warlords and mercenaries whether he liked it or not.

Justine had laughed at him on her last prison visit. So hypocritical of him, when he'd already made the same move of employing someone to give him the edge over Tony Stark. The younger Hammer was just better at it.

She wasn't laughing now. In fact, she was waddling back from the kitchen, having made a detour there after the bathroom to find food.

In the morning, she'd be giving the first test run of the basic skeleton of Detroit Steel with its pilot. Obviously, that wasn't her - like she'd risk herself and her daughter like that - and M didn't care enough about her pet project unless it actually worked, in which case he was very interested. Instead, she'd found herself a disillusioned but obedient ex-soldier named Doug Johnson. Physically fit, technically skilled, and yet more than willing to do what he was told. Perfect, for now.

The thought of finally achieving victory helped her get back to sleep, lying awkwardly on her side. It was just before midnight.

-O.O-

Tony was startled awake, sitting up from the workstation he'd fallen asleep at while trying to fix JARVIS. His beloved AI cut his call to Pepper, then refused to restart the call inexplicably. He'd assumed it was something left over from Loki's fiddling around, but he hadn't managed to fix it. Then the lack of sleep had caught up with him and he'd just been resting his eyes when he was rudely awakened an hour later.

JARVIS was telling him that the Avengers had a crisis, and that he needed to be on the Quinjet immediately. Doom was acting up.

"Suit first, then briefing," Tony mumbled as he stripped to his undersuit and let JARVIS armour him.

What the hell was next?

-O.O-

Doom and Loki were on top of an observational tower in Hammer's complex.

"Do it," Loki said, trying to hold back his enthusiasm.

In a moment, Doom had neatly blasted the generator perched on the side of the main building. The whole facility went black.

"We have a few minutes," Doom said, beginning to create the new portal to bring across his Doombots.

Loki took a deep breath, enjoying the cool desert air. "This is going to be good," he murmured.


	31. The ten rings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for lateness; school just started again. And this is two short chapters smushed into one.

Justine was awake when the power cut off. The baby was kicking again; it never seemed to stop, or at least, that was just how it felt.

Regardless of the baby's movements, when the power went off she got up immediately. If something was wrong with the generator and she didn't fix it, then the tests in the morning would be held up.

Justine didn't dare to wake M. The last thing she needed was one of those rings trying to 'protect' him and burning her to a crisp.

When she heard threatening noises coming from outside, she abandoned the idea of just jeans and a soft jersey, and put on her steel-capped boots and her work clothes while donning a flashlight. Something was going wrong.

She took a detour through the other living quarters in the barracks to kick Johnson awake. If Doom was back again, then she could fight fire with fire; Detroit Steel's weapons systems were finished and the suit was almost completely finished.

Then she retrieved her pistol and headed for the backup generator. It activated automatically shortly after she got there, lighting everything up again.

Justine had just about to write it off to a faulty generator when something collided with what sounded like one of the production warehouses with a resounding _crash!_

Hopefully it had woken M up. Justine herself was definitely unwilling to go into battle, but M craved it; he wasn't what her father would've called a gentleman. Instead of heading outside, Justine made her way into the security room so she could survey the situation via camera.

It _was_ Doom, as it turned out. She found him on top of the observation tower. To her slight surprise, she also found Loki Feison sitting next to him, smiling serenely as Doombots forced their way into her warehouse.

That bastard.

But between M and Detroit Steel, they didn't stand a chance.

The Doombots did indeed successfully tear their way into the warehouse after half a minute, heading straight for Detroit Steel, but just before they reached it, it powered on.

It was about twice the size of a Doombot, and Justine had spared no effort on making it extremely strong. Therefore it didn't have to try particularly hard when it grabbed two Doombots and crushed them together.

Justine activated the comms. "Good, Johnson. Destroy them all."

The problem was indeed of numbers; one on one, the Doombots wouldn't stand a chance, but in numbers, they could simply overpower Detroit Steel.

Then M came out of the barracks, his hands shining with the light of the ten rings. Everything would be fine.

-O.O-

Loki had just been sitting and watching the impending chaos ever since he'd gotten JARVIS to call out the Avengers. He'd always had a love of watching the first domino fall; it produced an odd, tense feeling that he thrived on.

Through the new holes in the warehouse, he could see as Detroit Steel was activated and started destroying bots. It was easy to see that the bots would win in the long term, so long as Detroit Steel didn't receive reinforcements.

And then the Mandarin came out of another building, rings glowing. Percussive blasts and elemental powers started to tear the bots apart. That counted as reinforcements.

Loki hadn't actually told Doom that the Mandarin was going to be there. Nor had he mentioned that between Detroit Steel and the Mandarin, his chances of victory were slim at best.

Because of this, Loki nimbly slipped off the edge of tower and slid down the ladder. "Sorry, darling!" he called back at Doom, before running for a small storage building. A laser blast missed him by an inch, though fortunately he wasn't followed.

There was a small amount of regret to be felt for betraying a valuable ally, but he was mostly praying that Doom felt that Hammer and Detroit Steel were more important targets than little old him.

Assuming that the Avengers would be moving supersonic, he only had so long to wait until the fun stuff started.

-O.O-

By the time the Avengers arrived, the future winner of the battle was immediately obvious, and it wasn't Doom. The Mandarin had simply mowed the bots down like they weren't uber-powerful killing machines.

The last half dozen bots were fighting feebly, and Doom was getting ready to hightail it out of there. The Mandarin had already made the typical grandiose speech of his superiority and victory. Hammer hadn't emerged from where she was hiding, and perhaps wisely so.

Loki had activated the camera on his phone. He was peeking out the door of the shed with the zoom on full and was really hoping that the next part worked out.

It did. Captain America and Iron Man soared in first while presumably the quinjet came in for a landing.

And Johnson, inside Detroit Steel, forewent waiting for orders and burst through the side of the wrecked warehouse to grab Steve and throw him bodily across the compound.

"Oh, perfect," Loki murmured eagerly.

Now _that_ wasn't good PR.

Detroit Steel lumbered forward aggressively towards Tony, who nimbly dodged the first chainsaw blow and said something that was probably a sassy remark. Loki couldn't hear.

After a few more failed strikes at Tony, Detroit Steel stopped abruptly and walked away. Likely Hammer had told him to stop attacking the good guys.

Tony refocused his attention to Doom on top of the tower as Steve came up against the remaining Doombots and Hawkeye arrived on the scene. It didn't seem like Bruce was coming, likely because he tended to indiscriminately destroy everything while Hulked out.

Loki had a moment to wonder where Nat was when something grabbed him suddenly by the hair.

"Gods," Loki gasped in surprise. "Don't do that."

"Things seem to be working out your way," Nat said, letting him go.

"You should see the footage I've got of Detroit Steel smashing Captain America," Loki said. "A thing of beauty."

"Things aren't over yet, Loki," Nat pointed out."You invited the Mandarin, now you've got to get rid of him."

Loki cast his eyes back to the scene of the drama to see the Mandarin neatly disintegrate Clint's bow from a distance, then shoot a blast of fire at him while laughing somewhat maniacally.

Clint dodged repeatedly, drawing his pistol and firing on the Mandarin to little success.

Nat left Loki's side to help Clint; Loki himself tucked his phone safely in his pack, made sure he knew where his knives were and left his hiding spot.

Tony saved Clint by blasting the Mandarin in the chest, knocking him down; the Mandarin turned and fired an ice blast, freezing Tony's hips. It took him a moment to dislodge the ice from his joints, just in time to dodge a laser blast.

Moving on full offense, the Mandarin blasted and shocked Tony, making him shift backwards just to stay alive. It was personal, after all; Tony hated the Mandarin doubly, for his kidnapping and for helping Hammer. The Mandarin himself (unknown to Tony) had just really wanted to be the guy to kill Iron Man.

A fire blast melted the Iron Man's knee joint together, making him fall over, unable to stand.

Loki was determined to do something now. It would be the ultimate fuck-up if his plan to help Tony inadvertently killed him, and the last thing he wanted was Tony's death or injury.

Steve's shield came flying past, clipping the Mandarin on the jaw and distracting him from his kill blow.

Evidently the Mandarin could be attacked so long as he didn't anticipate it. The warlord's attention was now on Steve, who deflected blows with his shield until the Mandarin sent a shockwave at him that threw him through the wall of a building. Then the Mandarin continued advancing on Tony, who started firing his weaponry in a futile attempt to save himself.

Clint and Natasha were fighting Doombots over a hundred metres away. Steve was disentangling himself from sheet iron. It was up to Loki.

He started to truly fear for Tony's life as he ran forward, three throwing knives on the tips of his fingers in a moment. They left his hands swiftly, two sinking into the Mandarin's bare back and one into the side of his throat.

Loki didn't waste time to see how effective his strike had been. He drew one of his hand knives, crossed the last few metres to the enemy, and plunged his knife up through the Mandarin's jaw and into his brain with all the force he could muster. A sharp pain shot through his scar.

Blood spurted down his arms as Loki let the Mandarin fall to the ground, very dead. Then Loki just stood there, making eye contact with Tony's suit.

Tony raised the faceplate and made to say something, but Loki had just spotted Hammer coming out of one of the buildings, heading for the helicopter parked a few hundred metres away on the helipad. She wasn't moving quickly.

"I'll be right back," Loki promised shortly, forgoing his knives entirely and drawing his pistol as he ran after her.

"...Okay," Tony said, still a little shocked by everything that had just happened. He started trying to remove the ruined leg of his Iron Man suit. Once he'd managed to scrape it off, aided somewhat by the convenient welding torch his suit possessed, he took a moment.

Loki was back. Loki had had some involvement in all this chaos and destruction and in half-destroying Hammer's compound. Despite everything that had happened, he sure was hoping that this meant Loki was back on his side.

In the corner of his eye, he saw Detroit Steel slump and deactivate, and someone come out of it.

Well. If they wanted to kill him, they'd be smarter to stay in the suit.

"You're Iron Man!" the person said. A man, definitely.

"No shit," Tony said dryly.

"I didn't mean to attack you. I thought you were one of them," Johnson said. "Hammer's gone, I thought I could probably leave the suit."

"Good for you."

Perhaps as a gesture of solidarity, Johnson helped Tony to his feet. In the distance, the last Doombot was destroyed, already long abandoned by Doom, and the other Avengers came rushing over.

"'M fine," Tony said, looking at the wrecked leg of his Iron Man. "I'm getting real sick of replacing the legs on this thing."

"Where's Loki?" Natasha asked.

"You knew about this, didn't you?" Tony accused. "You didn't lose him at all; he just got you into all this."

"Where's Loki?" Natasha insisted.

"He was heading after Hammer," Tony gestured in the direction of the helicopter.

"I guess that's his business, then," Natasha said coolly. Evidently she had no issues with Loki sorting out his own affairs with Hammer.

Actually, neither did Tony, though he guessed he might be a little sad if he did actually kill her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a side note: Happy birthday, GenerationLoki! Hope you have a good day ^.^


	32. Freedom

Loki didn't have a plan by that point. He didn't know what he wanted to do with the pistol in his hand; he just wanted to stop Hammer from getting away.

Fortunately, he had very long legs and was running, while Hammer was of average height and was waddling.

"Hammer," Loki called. "I have a gun, a steady hand and little to no conscience, so I'd recommend you stop."

Hammer mentally measured the distance to the helicopter, then gave in.

"If you want to kill me, Feison, make it quick. Your accent is ridiculous," she said acidly.

"Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? If we're going to continue with the cliches and all," Loki deadpanned. "Turn to face me, put your gun on the ground."

She hesitated a moment, before complying.

"The Mandarin is dead," Loki began, gesturing to the itching and drying blood on his hands. "Very much so. And Detroit Steel is a dream crushed; I have the evidence to shut it down."

"I thought you'd be so cruel. What happened to our contract?" Hammer said, keeping her cool admirably.

"I said I wouldn't give out information about the details of our work together, nor would I act directly against you, until a time when it was no longer applicable, such as the cancellation of the Detroit Steel project. I did neither. In fact, I got Doom to attack you for me, so I really am in the clear," Loki said calmly. "Of course, that doesn't extend to the life of your paramour, unless it was in the fine print. You don't seem too cut up by his death."

"I am upset," Hammer said blankly. "I'm not going to show you that, am I?"

"Evidently, no," Loki said idly.

They stood in silence for a minute before Hammer snapped "Just fucking shoot me already, the tension's making me sick."

"That's probably the tiny human in your abdomen," Loki said. "Just a guess."

"I'm serious, Feison. I don't want a stand-off," Hammer said. Even with bed-hair, and looking scared and tired, she managed to look resilient.

Loki raised the gun and clicked off the safety. Then he clicked it back on again.

She'd lost so much - her partner, her chance to bring the Hammer name out of the dust, and if or when Tony brought the industrial espionage and assault charges against her, she'd lose her money and resources.

And she was pregnant. He didn't want to kill her kid.

It nastily reminded him of his own parents - his mother, a young woman with a bright future who'd been killed by his father. Never mind the fact that Hammer's kid hadn't done any wrong.

"How old are you?" Loki said finally.

"Twenty-two," she replied, clearly slightly confused.

"That settles it, then," Loki said, lowering his weapon. "Get in the helicopter, retrieve what you can, and get the fuck out of Dodge. I don't kill kids."

"Her name's Sasha," Hammer said, starting to move slowly.

"I was talking about you, but that works too," Loki shrugged. "You're smart and you're young; don't waste it, and in all honesty, if you cross my path again there's no chance I'll be so gentle with you."

She wouldn't let go of her pride long enough to thank him, but she did nod in gratitude and walk off.

"Oh, and that guarantee applies to me only. I can't say that Tony or one of the other Avengers mightn't hunt you down," Loki added.

He just stood there and watched as she got in the helicopter, started it up, and flew away. Loki waved and put on a smile that he was fairly certain was rather menacing.

Psychopaths have emotions too. Sort of.

-O.O-

Loki slunk back to Tony and the rest, his face rather blank. "She's gone," he said.

This comment was made unnecessary by the helicopter starting behind the building. No one asked what had happened.

Steve, Nat and Clint were all present and tidying themselves, but when they saw Loki they somehow made themselves less visible. The confrontation was going to be between him and Tony; they didn't want to interfere.

"Loki," Tony said simply.

"Tony," Loki replied in kind. "Stay here a moment."

Tony did as he was told. Loki vanished for a minute to collect his backpack from inside the storage building. Then he threw it to Tony, who caught it questioningly.

"That has my laptop in it, which has every detail of my repeated hackings of JARVIS and the theft of your Iron Man designs; in addition to that, it has email exchanges with Hammer, bank details, and security footage of Hammer describing our contract, which is extremely incriminating. It also contains my phone, which has excellent footage of Detroit Steel attacking Captain America which should put a black spot on the public opinion of Hammer's project. It should be more than enough to cancel Hammer's involvement in the War Machine program," Loki explained clinically.

Tony opened his mouth to talk, but Loki held up a bloody hand to interrupt him. "The Mandarin is oh-so-dead and I do believe Doom's been cowed for a short time. Hopefully you'll decide that that is enough to make up for what I did, but I understand if it isn't.

"I'm sorry, Tony. I sincerely am, hard as that is to believe. You didn't deserve any of what I did to you, directly or indirectly, and I've managed to go above and beyond the call of duty in terms of being a generally terrible person. So if you want to forgive me, that'd be excellent, but if you don't, then I can see why. And if you do, I don't expect us to go back to the way things were. I just - I'm sorry," Loki finished.

By the end of his speech, Loki was the picture of submission, his head hung a little and his shoulders slumped. He looked tired, and weak, and Tony believed every word that came out of his mouth, despite how skilled a liar Loki was.

Loki just looked entreatingly at Tony. He wasn't going to push it; he was just going to wait until Tony reached a decision.

Tony stepped forward, pulling the gauntlet off his right hand and punching Loki squarely in the jaw with his bare fist. "That's for everything," he said firmly.

Loki managed to switch his stance in time to not fall over, but it was a hard hit and he stepped back with a grunt of pain. "I deserved that," he said, his voice sounding odd. "Bit my tongue again," he explained, a little blood on his lips. The fact that Tony had taken the gauntlet off instead of breaking his jaw was promising.

All of a sudden his face was crushed to a metal chest as Tony hugged him. "Second chance," Tony muttered. "But you're sure as hell not getting a third."

"Fair enough," Loki said tiredly. "Don't think I deserve one anyway."

"I'm very serious," Tony said, letting Loki go. "You fucked up, Pixie. About as much as a guy can. I don't trust you, and I'm not sure that I even like you. But yeah, you came back. That deserves some kind of credit, I guess."

"You called me Pixie," Loki mumbled.

"And there's nothing you can do about it, Pixie," Tony smirked.

"No, it's - I like it," Loki said, smiling wryly.

Then he busied himself retrieving his knives from the Mandarin with some obscene squelching noises.

-O.O-

Loki's apologies to the Avengers were as sincere, if not as lengthy, but while they were accepted it was made rather clear that in no way was Loki accepted back into their folds. Nat didn't seem to have a problem, for her own slightly inscrutable reasons, but Steve held Loki at arm's length and Clint just ignored him entirely. Tony sat down the other end of the Quinjet, seemingly lost in thought.

SHIELD was already en route to clean up Hammer's compound. Soon everything would be under their control.

In the absence of anything better to do, Loki sat with Natasha and worked on transferring all his evidence from his laptop to JARVIS.

When they arrived back at Stark Tower, Loki said "I'll repair JARVIS now," to Tony, who nodded.

They went down to the lab, which seemed so oddly familiar to Loki that it felt strange when Tony sat very still in his office chair and didn't spin once, his face stern.

It took Loki quite a long time to straighten out JARVIS; if he hadn't been sensible enough to take notes, it could've taken him all day.

Tony and Loki spoke only twice. The first time was when Tony marvelled quietly over Loki's hacking skills, and the second was when Tony got them hot drinks.

Neither felt like they had something they could talk about. Loki's betrayal had thrown up a very visible wall between them that an apology wasn't quite enough to break through.

But eventually, Loki restored JARVIS to full function with another apology for what he'd done, and Tony almost clapped him on the back. Almost, but his hand hovered and pulled away.

Loki was about to leave - he was still rather bloody, but knowing the trauma and time that it would take for him to bathe, Tony hadn't wanted him too just yet - when he stopped himself and said "What about SHIELD? They still want me behind bars."

"We'll cross that bridge whenever," Tony said. "I'm tired; I'll see you later."

Then, just as Loki got in the elevator - "Make sure you eat lunch."

-O.O-

As Loki was scrubbing blood off his arms and trying not to panic a little later, he wondered if it was even worth coming back. Then he scolded himself for his pessimism. Things would pick up.

Then he fell into his bed, which he'd only been absent from a week. The things he'd left behind were still there.

It was just a matter of actually _getting_ to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Lady Dragon!


	33. It ain't easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in a hurry so excuse mistakes.

Loki didn't want to show his face, in all honesty. Normally, when people were against him, he flaunted it with his trademark overconfident facade, but this was different; they had a good reason to dislike or even hate him and he was the one in the wrong.

He only managed a few hours of sleep and woke up in the early afternoon to find the tower quiet. Itchy and anxious, he decided to do his daily stretches, then run a few kilometres to take the edge off.

He found Nat in the gym. She smiled a little when she saw him.

"Good to see you back here, Kisa," she said.

"I'm surprised you're letting me back," Loki admitted.

As she answered, she slunk closer. "Don't get me wrong, Loki; if you do anything like that again, then there's no coming back. But I understand why you did what you did and how hard it was for you to get back here, so I'm giving you the benefit of that feeling."

"You're an angel," Loki said, half-sincere. "A step better, you're Aphrodite. Actually, Athena. She's even more almighty."

"Don't you ever forget it," she smirked. "How's Tony reacting?"

"Blandly," Loki replied. "He's keeping me at arm's length, but then again, I hardly deserve better."

"You don't," Nat agreed. "He's happy to have you back, he's just conflicted because Hammer put him through hell, and indirectly, that means you did too. He just needs a little time."

"He's well within his rights to want nothing to do with me," Loki said. "I won't pressure him."

"I wouldn't suggest you do," Nat agreed. "Though perhaps you should remind him why he liked you in the first place."

"Wise advice from a wise goddess," Loki said with a crooked smile. "Would you care to spar?"

-O.O-

 _Remind him why he liked you in the first place,_ Natasha had said, and it stuck in Loki's mind. Mostly because it was wholly accurate.

He got this opportunity a few hours later, when Fury, Maria Hill and another agent arrived at Stark Tower, looking for Loki.

The man himself was in his room, in correspondence with his bank on securing his own funds from Hammer's retribution. He didn't think she would, given as he'd spared her life, but as they say, no honour among murderers. Thieves? He wasn't actually sure, but it didn't matter.

Said correspondence was broken abruptly when JARVIS told him that Fury was in the living room and wanted to see him. He didn't want to defy Fury in this particular instance, so he ended the phone call decisively, slid into some more formal clothes than sweatpants and a wifebeater, and headed to the main living area.

All the Avengers as well as the members of SHIELD were there, looking sternly at him.

"Agent Loki Feison, we'd like it if you could come with us," Maria said.

"We'd all like a lot of things, Hill," Loki answered dryly. "I'd like a pony, but I don't have the available grazing space."

"Let me rephrase that," Fury cut in. "Feison, you're coming to SHIELD. To make it simple, you know too much and you've effectively proved that you can't be trusted."

None of the Avengers actually looked happy with that prospect, giving Loki a little more confidence.

"Well, no, I don't think so," he said teasingly. _Remind him why he liked you in the first place_. "See, I'm a _villain_. I don't have to follow your orders. Technically, you're my nemesis, if that board over there is to be believed."

In a moment, a knife was in his hand, and a moment after that, it soared across the room and planted itself into Loki's own photo's forehead on the Villain Board. An eloquent statement.

"Mr Feison-"

"It's _Mr_ Feison now? I'm insulted," Loki grinned. "Funnily enough, I don't see the Avengers rushing to your assistance. In fact, they're letting me stay here."

His eyes slipped sideways for a moment; they all looked slightly amused, but were trying to hide it. He was on a winning streak.

"You've committed federal offences, Feison. You're not getting out of this by being cute."

"No, I still don't think so. I'm not cute; I'm a villain, bad to the core. So I'll fight you to my dying breath," Loki said. "Or I get bored. Whichever happens first."

After a few more exchanges that were exactly as successful as that, and after it had become very clear that the Avengers didn't actually want Loki to leave, Fury gave up.

When he'd gone, Nat told Loki that SHIELD had cleaned up all of Hammer's compound, tidily disposed of the Mandarin's body and the destroyed Doombots and was keeping the whole affair under wraps until Tony's incriminating information was ready for a press release.

Well. That was easily sorted.

"It's good to have you back, Feison," Steve said.

Loki was expecting that to be a joke, but he was serious.

"It's good to be back," Loki said, wondering if Tony was going to react. While he'd been backtalking Fury, the engineer had been smiling, but his face had become impassive again.

Unfortunately, in the flow of people leaving the room that followed, Tony vanished, and Loki didn't want to explicitly hunt him down.

-O.O-

Forgiving and forgetting was actually very difficult when one was plagued with harsh flashbacks whenever they were in darkness or a small space. Tony's time paralysed in Hammer's care had had a profound effect on his psyche.

When he'd woken up after returning from Hammer's facility, he'd wanted to see Loki. He'd been dying to say something to Loki during Fury's meeting, too; watching Loki's sassy mouth run off at the Director had been brilliant. It was hard, because as much as he liked Loki and was glad to have him back, everything that had happened made it seem impossible that they could be so casually affectionate again.

Not deviating from his usual pattern of running from his problems, Tony spent the evening in his lab, had microwave pizza for dinner and went to bed without seeing anyone all day.

Upon waking the next morning, he'd strengthened his resolve. He didn't have to forgive Loki, or make any plans for the future; he just wanted to talk.

Tony guessed correctly that Loki would be in the gym. His morning stretches had always carried him there in the past.

"Loki?" Tony called tentatively.

The merc immediately stopped what he was doing. "Hello, Tony," he said levelly.

"Hey. I just came to talk with you. If that's okay," Tony said awkwardly.

"Of course," Loki said.

"I, uh," Tony mumbled for a start. "I'm bad at this stuff."

Loki just looked politely expectant.

"Tell me everything," Tony managed finally. "I know you've probably done a lot of that recently, but I want to hear it. So I know why."

"You're right; this story has passed my lips a few too many times recently," Loki said dryly. "But, oddly enough, I'd like you to hear it, so we're in agreement."

They went and sat down on one of the benches. It took Loki half a minute to compose himself before he started, but when he started talking, he didn't stop.

He told the truth. He didn't even embellish it in his own favour. Just the raw truth, because he wanted Tony to believe him.

Evidently he must've managed something resembled sincerity, because Tony looked very thoughtful as he spoke.

Loki didn't actually think that what had happened to him was in itself enough to excuse what he'd done. He didn't, and that was because he knew that regardless of his circumstances it was still terrible. And he told Tony that too.

"You mightn't want me back," Loki said. "You'd be right, too. I've quite a few issues and some of them are part of my personality. But I'm sorry."

"I forgive you. Kinda," Tony said. "You came back, and you stopped it all. I did some thinking, and Hammer would've found a way to do what you did without your help, so yeah, I'll let that slide. But-"

He didn't manage to finish.

Loki raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"Goddamnit, Pixie, why'd you have to make me _like_ you, you asshole!" Tony snapped suddenly.

"Why did you insistent on being so likeable yourself!?" Loki hissed, breaking his quiet abruptly. "Everything would have been so _easy_ if you weren't - you weren't you! I would have completed this mission without anything more than a little guilt over tricking Nat, and I'd continue living my conscienceless existence with perfect peace of mind!"

"If you like me, and I like you, then why are we shouting at each other!?" Tony yelled.

"Because I did something terrible!" Loki replied exasperatedly. He didn't quite know why he was angry; it actually sounded like Tony was forgiving him.

"I don't care!" Tony replied. "You're back and you're sorry and I _like_ you."

"Oh." Loki said. Tony didn't even seem to be holding a grudge. "I like you too. Rather a lot, if that wasn't obvious."

Tony wasn't sure if that was just a mutual acknowledgement of interest in the other, or something much deeper, but either way he was shocked to admit it.

"Right," he said. "I'll just leave you alone, then."

Which was immediately followed by relocation to his lab. He didn't miss the surprised look on Loki's face.

This was because Loki was expecting his forgiveness to involve something more than that, like a prolonged conversation afterwards. But he was resigned to letting Tony be, so he just kept stretching and hoped.

-O.O-

Tony managed to avoid him all day, again. Every time he tried to gather himself up and talk to Loki, he just couldn't stop thinking about how skilled a liar Loki was.

_Yeah, but what does he have to gain by coming back? He risked a lot, and he's a vulnerable position. No one trusts him enough to let him get away with anything again._

His mind was made up when nightmares kept him from sleep - nasty, claustrophobic nightmares about small spaces and being paralysed. So he got outof bed and wandered aimlessly, eventually ending up at Loki's door.

He knocked without thinking, let himself do what he wanted.

"Come in," Loki's voice said. As Tony expected, he hadn't been sleeping.

It was dark in Loki's room, but he could still see Loki's silhouette.

"Nightmares?" Tony asked.

"Horrible ones," Loki confirmed stiffly. "You?"

"Same," he said honestly. "Can I...?"

"Come here," Loki said, lifting the blanket on the other side of the bed.

Without a moment's hesitation Tony slid into bed next to Loki.

Neither of them spoke, but Loki pulled the blanket over them and curled into Tony's chest.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled softly.

"I know," Tony replied.


	34. End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for smut, I suppose, haha.

Tony had been tired and panicked when he'd decided to sleep in Loki's room, so he didn't know how he'd feel when he woke up.

He felt great. Loki, in an unconscious attempt to ward off nightmares, had wrapped himself around him like a python with his face buried in Tony's neck, so the sweet smell of his hair and something Lokish was in Tony's nose.

As far as he was aware, Loki hadn't had much of a disturbed sleep, which was unusual.

It felt surprisingly natural, despite the circumstances, to wake up with Loki like that. He sincerely didn't want it to be one time only.

Loki stirred with his movement and unconsciously nuzzled just under Tony's ear, before his brain caught up and he pulled away.

"My apologies, Stark," Loki mumbled, pushing himself back to his own side and preparing to get up.

"Don't you _Stark_ me. I've had your dick in my throat, I think you can manage 'Tony'," Tony replied jokingly.

He was worried for a second that Loki might take it badly, but Loki just chuckled and got out of bed anyway. "Suit yourself, Tony," he said. "I have to take a shower, so I suppose I shall see you later."

Tony didn't actually know how Loki dealt with showers, but as rain made him miserable, showers probably made him even worse.

"I could..." Tony offered vaguely.

"No," Loki said, almost a snap, but restrained at the last moment.

"It's all right. Come to the lab when you feel okay, yeah?" Tony said.

Loki looked pleasantly surprised by the offer as he vanished into the bathroom. Tony took his leave.

-O.O-

Loki turned up in the lab around an hour later looking disheveled but basically okay.

To better protect himself in the future, Tony got Loki to teach him a few tricks about hacking, as well as the basics. More lessons to follow.

Over the next few days, Tony and Loki patched things up one step at a time; Tony tried to encourage Loki to relax a little, and Loki behaved himself immaculately, within the bounds of his usual mischief. Movies were watched, innovations were worked on.

They continued both sleeping in Loki's bed, as it helped a surprising amount, but the lack of an invitation for them to move to Tony's bed or even personal quarters was rather stark.

Despite all this, Tony did have JARVIS warning him of Loki's activities. Most of them involved sleeping or reading, so that wasn't a problem. On one particular occasion, he sent an email to a Thor Burison, and also to Darcy Lewis. The former was his brother, but the latter was an American actress, so Tony didn't get it. When asked, Loki said she was a friend he'd made.

He'd expected Loki to be more stable and consistent now that he wasn't plagued by doubts regarding his espionage, but Loki was still running hot and cold, not wanting to be touched or spoken to one minute and curling up in bed with Tony the next. Tony wasn't going to ask; Loki was clearly still working through a lot of stuff.

It was on the sixth morning that Tony woke up with a little problem. He was surprised he hadn't earlier, actually, but quite frankly, despite whatever romance novels might tell you, nightmares really did tend to kill the mood.

Sharing a bed with Loki was abating the nightmares and clearly increasing the sexual frustration that had been clear ever since he'd met Loki.

It didn't take much to wake Loki and it didn't seem like he'd been asleep anyway; he had sleeping problems even when calm and unbothered, Tony was quickly learning.

"Good morning to you too," Loki said dryly. "Should I go...?"

"Hey, uh-" Tony began. Loki rolled over to face him. "Maybe it's the hard-on and the general sexual frustration I get whenever I so much as look at your pretty face, but if it's cool with you, I'm definitely going to kiss you."

"You're a true romantic," Loki murmured with a chuckle. He seemed pretty happy about this turn of events. "Fortunately, so am I. Tongue in mouth, get to it."

Tony smiled before leaning forward and getting to it.

It started warm and sleepy, soft, lazy presses of their lips that deepened into quicker opened lips and Tony's hand cupping the back of Loki's head.

They hadn't kissed much in Urumqi, or at least not passionately; Loki had been something like tense and upset and the whole thing had been over way too quickly for Tony's tastes. Not again. This time he was going to make Loki feel goddamn _wooed._

His tongue ran along Loki's lower lip before slipping behind the merc's teeth to be met eagerly by Loki's own. That was when he pulled Loki closer, a hot flush running through him when a soft moan escaped from Loki's throat.

Tony loved Loki's style of kiss; his tongue was clever and quick, just like the man himself.

Without breaking away from him for a moment, Loki moved over so he was on top of Tony, allowing him a better angle and freeing his hand to trace over Tony's t-shirted shoulder. He was gentle and slightly unsure, like he didn't know where the barriers were.

Almost unconsciously, Tony lifted the hand that wasn't knotted in Loki's hair and traced his thumb over Loki's scar gently.  
This got him a slight shiver and renewed vigour in the lips caressing his own.

Damn, the scar tissue was sensitive. And if admiring the sensitivity of that gnarled flesh helped with Loki's issues, then that was definitely a bonus.

Tony wasn't sure how long they spent just kissing, getting to know how the other liked it and after a minute or two, exploring the curves of each others' bodies and hunting out sensitive spots. For once, he didn't feel like he was trying to get them naked; it just kind of felt like that was where they would eventually end up.

But eventually comes sometimes and Loki's exploring hand was starting to tease below Tony's waistband as they rolled their hips into each other, so Tony pulled back to establish something.

"We need to sort this out," he breathed, his voice stolen by Loki's wicked tongue.

Loki looked worried and pulled back slightly.

"No, nope, don't do that. I just meant - what are you up for? How far do you want this to go? Also, how much pain will that scar put you in, because you seem like the kind of asshole who won't mention he's in agony until after." Negotiation was almost always a great idea, given the circumstances.

"Well," Loki purred, relaxing again. "The plan I formed involved me slinking down under the covers to suck your cock and take the edge off, then have you fuck me. If that's acceptable."

That sounded more than good to Tony. In fact, he couldn't actually get any words out to express that, but Loki seemed to understand anyway.

"But yes, missionary position only," Loki conceded matter-of-factly. "Anything else does require abdominal strength and that hurts like a bitch right now."

"Gotcha," Tony said, kissing him again.

True to his word, after half a minute Loki pulled away again to pull off Tony's shirt, then tongue his way down his chest to his waistband, where he gripped the elastic of Tony's sweatpants and tugged them down.

With Loki hidden under the covers, Tony couldn't really see what he was up to, but he could feel warm breath on his hard cock for just a moment before Loki licked a stripe up it and then sucked on the head.

Loki didn't stay down there long, just a few lashes of his tongue and then short licks around the head, but gods, Tony felt every touch like an electric shock of the pleasurable nature.

When Loki's head appeared again after a brief break to nibble gently on Tony's nipples, they kissed again, but Tony's patience was starting run short and he rolled them over so he was on top.

"Ready?" he asked.

"I am," Loki said, his hands still questing over Tony, like if he touched him enough his whole body would be recorded in Loki's mind like a blueprint. Probably would, actually.

Meanwhile, Tony removed Loki's shirt - sparing a moment to gently scrape his thumbnail across Loki's scar a few times, which elicited an excellently breathy reaction - and enjoyed the warmth of Loki's chest against his as he slipped Loki's boxers off.

He wrapped his hand around Loki's cock and stroked firmly; Loki's hips bucked and he let out a groan.

"Just _fuck_ me," Loki gasped. "It's been a long time, I want to feel it."

Which worked for Tony. It'd been a while since he'd prepped a guy, but it was a pretty basic procedure, so after retrieving the lube he slowly worked one finger into Loki, then built up to two and then three, searching out Loki's prostate. He knew he'd found it when Loki brought his knees up sharply and dropped his head back.

"Condom?" Tony asked.

"Got tested after Afghanistan because I passed out a lot and I don't remember what happened to me. Haven't been with anyone since then; too sore," Loki breathed shortly. "I'm fine if you are."

"That makes two of us," Tony said.

Gripping his cock - which was all too ready, leaking at the tip - he kissed Loki, then guided himself in.

Loki grinned breathlessly against Tony's mouth, like there was nothing he enjoyed more than Tony's cock sliding into his ass smoothly. Frankly, that was probably true.

Tony rocked his hips back and forth after he bottomed out, getting them both used to the feeling. The tight clench of Loki's muscles was almost too good, like a low hum of pleasure under his skin that wouldn't quit. He wasn't too far off coming already.

"We good here?" Tony asked, dropping a hand to splay across Loki's scar. So help him, he was worried. He'd seen Loki collapse to the ground from pain after straining it before.

"S'all right, just not too fast," Loki mumbled. Then he grinned wryly. "This is embarrassing."

"Speak for yourself," Tony replied, moving his hips to drag his cock from Loki's ass, then slid it slickly back in. "You feel amazing."

"So do you," Loki admitted, then brought a hand up behind Tony's head to pull him into another kiss, slow and sensual like everything they were doing.

Slow, under the covers, lots of kissing, lots of banter. Regardless of the practical reasons, it was about as close to making love as either of them had come. Not that either of them would call it that. Perish the thought.

Loki's legs came up just a little to cradle Tony in place while they rocked together, Tony staying slow but making up for it with firm, consistent thrusts, aiming for one spot in particular.

He was feeling little hot spasms in his groin when he found Loki's prostate, Loki moaning into Tony's mouth when he did.

They broke apart from the mouth as they got close, Tony burying his face in Loki's neck to lick and suck and bite as he dropped his hand to stroke Loki's straining cock again. Loki's response was to let loose his words of pleasure, telling Tony how good it felt, how much he wanted it, how he wanted Tony to come in his ass.

Tony could oblige that. Loki rocked his hips back into Tony's increasingly erratic thrusts a few times before he came with a choked moan, hot liquid in Tony's palm, and the spasms of his ass pushed Tony over too, the pair of them coming in near-synchronicity.

Coming to a halt, Tony breathed heavily into Loki's neck for half a minute, maybe more, then pulled out when he felt ready and lay down next to Loki.

"That wasn't fucking," Loki muttered. "That was borderline romantic. I'm losing my ways."

"Yeah, but your ways seem kind of shitty, so I'm not complaining," Tony reminded him.

"True," Loki said. "Thank you."

"Not that I'm not cool with being thanked, but why?" Tony asked.

"You're letting me be here," Loki said. "To be honest, my realistic hopes were that you'd thank me, take my information and at least not shoot me. Pathetic as it sounds, I'm happy to be here."

"Doesn't sound pathetic. It sounds kind of human."

"That's disgusting," Loki sighed. "Satisfaction's not in my nature, yet here I am, satisfied. You're either the best or the worst thing that's happened to me."

"Pretty sure I'm the best. I always satisfy," Tony joked.

Loki chuckled, then rolled over and assumed his usual sleeping position, curled against Tony's chest with his forehead on the engineer's clavicle.

"More sleep? Okay, I can do that," Tony said. Never mind the general state the bed was now in and the fact that they were both naked.

"We got come on my bedsheets," Loki murmured tetchily. "We're sleeping in your bed tonight."

"How presumptuous, Agent Feison," Tony said. "Oh god, we sound like a married couple already and we've only been sort of dating for about an hour."

"Sort of dating," Loki said, and Tony was about to apologise when Loki continued "I can work with that."

-O.O-

The issue of them being sticky and sweaty didn't resolve itself with sleep, and when they woke up an hour or two later, they came to the conclusion that yeah, they did need a shower. This was a problem in itself.

After a lot of debate in which they changed sides repeatedly and didn't really get anyway, Loki slid out of bed and walked to the door of his ensuite, saying "Today is the day I start to get over this."

Tony had mixed feelings about that. If it worked, great. But if it didn't, then it would be a serious dent in Loki's self-image yet again.

However, if Loki was determined, then Tony wouldn't stop him.

Loki's bedroom was one of Tony's many guest bedrooms and as such, the bathroom was large and the shower wasn't joking around either. They both fit into it comfortably.

Watching Loki try and hold it together as he turned on the water was painful, and while Tony did his best to help with soothing words, his breaths were getting shorter and sharper.

"It's okay," Tony said, reaching a soapy hand out to Loki's shoulder.

Once his hand met Loki's flesh, Loki jerked away from him, backing himself into a corner and letting his breathing rate skyrocket.

"JARVIS, turn off the water," Tony barked. JARVIS did. "Loki, you're right here with me. 'Kay? We're in the shower. You can drink all the water you like, or none at all. It's up to you. And I'm right here."

Loki reached out with a hand and balanced himself on Tony's shoulder, catching his breath.

"Turns out the power of liking someone a lot can't cure PTSD," Loki rasped after a minute or two of getting himself together.

"Yeah, no, I've been there and it doesn't. You with me?"

"Nearly," Loki replied.

"You made it about thirty seconds. Next time, we aim for forty seconds," Tony reached out of the shower to grab a towel for Loki.

"You're being awfully helpful," Loki said suspiciously, accepting the towel.

"Nah, I'm just preparing you for when you have to deal with me at my worst," Tony said bluntly. "You're not exactly clean there."

"I really don't care," Loki said, scrubbing himself with the towel. "I'll try again later. Alone."

"Are you actually better when you're alone or do you just not want to look crumbly in front of me?" Tony asked harshly.

"The latter, I think," Loki replied coolly, exiting the shower and the bathroom in search of clothes.

"Are we having an argument?" Tony wondered out loud.

"Slightly," Loki said with a wry smile. "I'm not okay; we know that. Let me work it out for myself."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Tony said. "I'm gonna take a proper shower, okay? Go have breakfast or something."

-O.O-

Loki did go and help himself to breakfast. There was some stewed fruit left over from the night before, and Loki swiftly claimed it for himself and Tony and added yoghurt.

"You patched things up with Tony, then?" Nat said from the doorway. She had an eyebrow raised in amusement. "Your hair's a mess and you have a bite on your neck."

"That could've been anyone," Loki said, rubbing over the mark thoughtfully.

"Yes, but it wasn't," Nat replied.

"True. Certainly, Tony and I fucked. Are you jealous?" Loki teased.

"Not even a little," Nat said, sitting down next to him. "Now Tony has to deal with what you qualify as dirty talk."

"Excuse you; I'm excellent," Loki tutted. "You must miss me a little; Barton doesn't seem like he's particularly silvertongued."

"He has his merits. He's not crazy, for one."

Loki snorted.

"Not as crazy as you. But we're Avengers. You don't get onto this team without baggage," Nat conceded. "On that note, Fury's tripping over himself to figure out a way of dealing with you."

"Yes, I didn't think I'd seen the last of him."

"The high-ups at SHIELD are laughing at him because he's _scared_. He's got an immoral spy in with the Avengers, and they won't give him up; add that to the chaos and destruction that you wreaked and he saw at Hammer's compound, and you're a problem that won't go away," Nat said. She looked quite amused by this.

"Hm," Loki took another mouthful of fruit and pondered that. "Based on your experiences with SHIELD, what do you think he'll do?"

"I'd guess he'll offer you some kind of job that gives him the right to check up on your movements, then tell you that you can't stay if you don't accept," Nat said. "He may also give you the option of joining SHIELD as a junior agent again."

"Interesting," Loki replied. "And tempting. I'll see just what he does."

Loki sensed Tony entering the room right before his warm hands landed on his shoulders.

"Hey, Pixie," Tony said, kissing him on the back of the neck. Evidently his afterglow was still alive and well.

Nat smirked. "Look at yourself, Loki. All domestic; you've been tamed."

"Lies, all of it," Loki said. "I'm only stopping over here on my way to combat James Bond. Or be James Bond. Whichever."

"Yeah, sure," Tony said, teasing a particularly prominent knot out of Loki's hair. "You should brush this. It's a mess."

"You're the one who tangled your hand in it."

"Heat of the moment. I can't be blamed," Tony was smiling, Loki could tell.

-O.O-

True to form, Fury arrived later that day wanting to speak to Loki.

It was a short conversation. Fury wanted Loki to be the Avengers' 'mission supervisor', a made-up job that basically involved watching them from the skies and helping them work together, much like Loki had done when the Avengers had first come to the defence of Hammer's compound.

Fury also not-subtly suggested that Loki should consider joining SHIELD as an agent.

Inside, Loki was laughing, because not only was Fury doing exactly what Nat said he would, but he was definitely, irrefutably unhappy with having Loki outside of his control.

Loki accepted the offer airily. Both Loki and Fury left the meeting feeling like winners.

-O.O-

Later, Loki was watching a movie with Tony, just like they'd done a thousand times before. He was feeling rather pleased with himself, and the positive emotion made him feel generally affectionate, which was why he was lying against Tony on the couch.

He'd said earlier that satisfaction wasn't in his nature, and he'd been serious; he'd tried in the past to just settle down with his riches and a hotel room in the city for a few months, and inevitably found the experience lacking in excitement and generally unfulfilling. After the stress of the last half a year, he was willing to try again, but he wasn't under any false impressions that lying around Stark Tower was where he wanted to be forever.

That wasn't to say he didn't think he'd be with Tony for any long period of time; he was just concerned he'd get bored without his merc lifestyle.

He planned to be with Tony for as long as he was wanted.

And besides, it didn't need to be _all_ boring. After all, there was the offer of becoming a SHIELD agent on the table.

Having his cake and eating it too did seem to be the theme of the day.

He was distracted from his thoughts by Tony's hand slipping under his shirt to gently trace along his belly. Loki twitched as his fingers drew across the sensitive skin of his scar.

"Ticklish?" Tony chuckled wickedly, brushing his fingers over it again.

Loki flinched this time, and batted his elbow at Tony's hip playfully.

"Nope, no getting away. I've found your secret weakness now," Tony said, pinning Loki a little closer and tickling him again.

 _No, I won't be living domestically around here forever,_ Loki thought. _But I think I'll be happy here for now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Uh. It's over.
> 
> First, thanks to Akuma_River for prompting me to write this - I think it turned into something bigger than we were expecting.  
> I'll finish 'All this and forgiveness too' when I get around to it, honest.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's read, commented, kudos, bookmarked etc. this fic, it's been more popular than I anticipated and I'm really grateful.
> 
> Because I know some of you are going to ask about a sequel - it's a maybe, a definite maybe.
> 
> Seriously, just thanks ^.^

**Author's Note:**

> Comments?


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